Have you ever experienced death? Have you ever been so scared you wanted to die?
***Flashback***
“Ava!” I heard a shrill voice screaming my name. I blinked my eyes open and felt my body grow cold. Half of my body was cold while the other wasn’t.
My head was wet. Was it water or blood? Was I bleeding?
At first I couldn’t see anything but a dim light pointing at a singular tree. “Ava!” I heard another scream and I picked my head up. I was lying on the ground.
My head instantly started pounding and I collapsed back on the ground. “Rob, call 911!” I heard Nicole’s shrill voice yelled and then I became aware.
I pushed through my groggy state and sat up on the ground. “Nicole?” I said and then heard footsteps.
“Ava, Devin crashed the car. He’s passed out,” She said frantically.
“What?” I coughed and my heard started pounding even worse.
“We were in a car crash,” Nicole screamed. “Rob’s calling 911, stay awake.” Nausea ran through my body and I felt like puking, but I kept myself together.
“My heard hurts,” I groaned and fell back on the ground.
“Ava, I need you to stay awake for me,” I felt Nicole’s cold hands on my face but I felt myself slipping away into the darkness. “Ava!” Nicole’s voice started drifting away. “Ava…” I heard her say lightly before I slipped away.
***End Flashback***
Black.
All I could see was black.
Is that what death was like? Just nothingness?
My body, or spirit or whatever it was, felt cold. I felt like I was floating in the air.
I was weightless.
Zayn.
Zayn.
His beautiful face came to mind as I thought about the night. His sparkling brown eyes and his perfect face that I would never see again.
He would be disappointed in me. It was my entire fault.
I was dead because I had made stupid decisions.
I was dead.
But slowly something started to happen.
I no longer felt like I was floating, but I was lying on something. Was I still lying outside of the car?
My body returned to me and I didn’t feel like a floating mind. My fingers slowly warmed. My hands and feet next. Followed by the rest of my body.
Beep.
What the hell was that?
Beep.
Can that annoying thing just stop?
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Suddenly I seemed to gain my full body back.
I gasped for air and then my eyes fluttered open. Everything was white at first and then things started to come into view. The similar ceilings, the machines, the frigid rooms, and the scratchy sheets made me realize that I was in a hospital room.
What had happened to me?
The familiar smell of antiseptic made me gag. I was underneath some itchy blanket that they thought was supposed to keep you warm when in fact it did nothing at all.
The beeping speeded up and then my head started pounding. My breathing hastened as I remembered what happened from the night before or at least tried to remember. I groaned and ripped the nodules out of my nose. I didn’t need help breathing; I was fine on my own. I reached over and frantically grabbed the call button so that someone would maybe be able to explain something to me. I pressed the button and a nurse came into the room.
“You’re awake.” Well, duh.
“What the hell happened?” I groaned and fell back on the bed. I wished hospitals had better beds. This thing literally felt like a rock.
“You were in a car accident,” The nurse said softly. “You’ve been out for twelve hours.” My heart rate sped up as I thought of all of the people in the car. Nicole was driving….no wait…that other guy was…no, he was next to me. My head pounded as I tried to remember the last few seconds before the accident.
“What’s happened to everyone?”
“Your friend, Devin, has a few broken ribs, Nicole has a broken arm, and Rob has some bruising. He was the only one with his seatbelt on, besides you” She said and checked my fluids. I was glad that none of them had died. You always hear tragedies of how people died in drunk driving accidents and I was glad to not be part of the story; not to be part of the statistic.
I didn’t know how I would live with myself if one of them died.
“What happened to me?” I asked. I had hit my head, obviously, because it was pounding and it wouldn’t seem to stop.
“You have a concussion, you were lucky you weren’t paralyzed by the way your head hit.” The nurse smiled. “I’m Katelyn by the way.”
“Can I have some water?” I asked and the nurse handed me some water. I really didn’t care what her name was at this point. I gulped it down. “Where’s Zayn?” I said suddenly and sat up. My head started ringing and the nurse helped me lay down.
“He is being informed now that you are awake and he will be in here any minute,” The nurse said. As if on cue, Zayn ran into the room and collapsed on by my bedside. His face looked distraught. His eyes were red and he looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks.
“Ava,” He gasped and took my hands. His hands were cold in mine. I caressed his hands with my thumb gently as I stared into his eyes. My heart raced as he looked up at me. “What happened?” The nurse must have left when Zayn entered because she was no longer there.
“Zayn,” I said and started crying. He leaned over and kissed my cheek. Hot tears fell down my face and Zayn wiped them away. “Lay with me.” I sniffled. I started to move over but Zayn gracefully picked me up and set me down. He laid down next to me and wrapped his arm tightly around me.
His body warmed mine and I melted into him. It felt so nice to have him with me even though we were in such a horrible place. “Babygirl,” He whispered softly. I could feel his tears on my cheek. “I thought I lost you.”
“Zayn…” I shook my head with a nervous laugh.
“I’m not lying, darling. I got a call that said you were in the hospital because of a drunk driving accident,” He caressed my face and looked at me with his brown eyes. “They wouldn’t tell me your condition.”
“How’d they know to call you?” I questioned and snuggled up next to him. The pounding in my head was lessening but I was still in pain.
“I had called you and left you text messages, so they just called me,” He shrugged. He pressed his lips to my cheek softly. “You poor thing. Why did you get into the car? You know better.”
“Zayn…” I shook my head. “Can I explain it later? I’m so tired and I just want to fall asleep with you next to me. Please.” Zayn nodded and kissed my cheek. I snuggled up next to him and he held me tightly as I fell asleep.
* * *
I woke up a few hours later and Zayn was still beside me. “Zayn.” I said softly and he opened his eyes. His lips suddenly found mine and all of the pain was gone. My headache stopped and the world wasn’t spinning like it had been.
“Feel any better?” He asked me when we had finished kissing. I was a little lightheaded from the kiss, but I still smiled at him.
“A bit,” I groaned and laid my head back down on his chest. His chest was more comfortable than any pillow would ever be. I could lie on his chest all day and be comfortable the entire time.
“Tell me what happened,” Zayn said softly as he stroked my hair. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I tried to remember the events of the night before. I didn’t want to tell him. I couldn’t tell him. But I told him I couldn’t tell him, he’d know something was up. He knew those kinds of things.
I could always say I didn’t remember anything, but then he could just got ask Nicole. I didn’t want there to be any lying in our relationship. I wanted everything out there.
“I got to Nicole’s house and she was all excited to see me. She made me brownies…” I began nervously. My warm hands had drained of all heat and I was started to get scared. He wouldn’t take this well.
“Oh no,” Zayn sighed. I could already hear the disappointment in his voice. My stomach dropped.
“Not pot brownies. They were normal. She kept saying how we were going to a party and get f.ucked up so I told her no. Turns out she put ecstasy in the brownies. Half an hour later, Nicole and I were both extremely happy and we were starting to get ready for the party. A few guys came and picked us up for the party. They were um…perverts.” I said softly. I didn’t want Zayn to hear that I had let them kiss me and touch me.
“Did they…?” I felt his body tense underneath mine. He didn’t even have to finish the sentence for me to know what he was talking about.
“Do you really want me to tell you?” I looked at him and he nodded solemnly. I really didn’t want to tell him, but I did.
“One of them was kissing my neck while the other was um…doing some stuff,” I looked away from him. I didn’t want to see his facial expression. I didn’t want to see the hurt.
“Continue.” He said in a stern voice. I didn’t want to see his face. I knew was already extremely upset already.
“I…we got to the party and immediately I saw Mark…” I knew this was going in the wrong direction. I wished I hadn’t mentioned Mark. Damn me. I’m so stupid.
“And what did you do with him?” Zayn sighed. His voice was tense and I was scared out of my mind.
I bit my lip and tried to stifle back the tears, “We made out and then as we were walking upstairs we both had some kind of alcohol.”
“What happened upstairs?”
“I…Zayn…”
“Tell me.”
I took a deep breath. “I gave him a blowjob,” I said and now tears were flowing freely down my face. Zayn must have been so disappointed in me. At this point, just the thought of having Mark’s dick anywhere near my face absolutely repulsed me. I must have been very out of it. “I didn’t know what –”
“Continue on with the story,” I could hear his voice crack a little but I didn’t dare look at him.
“Then we went downstairs and smoked some weed. The next thing I remember is getting into the car and then everything went black,” I sighed and looked over at him. His eyes were full of tears. “Zayn, I didn’t mean to. Nicole gave me ecstasy and I wasn’t in control of my actions.” Zayn slowly started to climb off the bed.
“Zayn, no!” I said and grabbed at his arm.
He continued going but I kept holding on. “Zayn, please.” I begged.
Tears were flowing freely as I clung on to him. He pulled away finally and walked out of the room without looking back at me. I watched his figure walk out of the door. I felt hopeless and lost as I watched him go.
He was the only thing left in my life and I had just f.ucked that up to.
I pushed the covers of my bed back and took every needle they had out of me. I climbed off of the bed and collapsed under the weight of my body. I was so tired that I wasn’t able to hold myself up. “Zayn!” I screamed as I laid on the cold floor. My body was becoming colder with each second.
I tried to push myself up but my body was too tired from the medicine so I just collapsed on the floor again. I had never experienced such helplessness.
My head was pounding and the entire room was spinning. I saw a nurse run into my room and I felt arms on me. Tears were falling down my face as I screamed his name over and over again. She was trying to calm me down but I couldn’t hear her over my sobs.
“I need assistance!” The nurse shouted. A few seconds later more nurses came into the room. They picked me up and set me down on the bed. I wriggled underneath their hands but they kept me in place. I felt violated.
“I need to see him,” I said urgently and started to sit up.
“You need to stay here, sweetheart,” A woman said and pushed my shoulder back down gently. She pulled a blanket over me as I sobbed.
“Zayn!” I screamed. I felt a prick in my arm and pressure on my pointer finger. I started kicking my legs to get out of the trap that they had put me in. I suddenly felt pressure on my legs and arms and I saw that I was being restrained.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw a nurse with a needle and then she stuck me with it. I screamed his name again and I tried to kick but my body failed.
“You are just going to go to sleep for a little, have sweet dreams,” A nurse smiled sweetly down at me. I felt the pressure on my arms and legs release and then the nurses all filed out except one.
“Z-Z-Zayn,” I said weakly as I fought the medicine they had just given me. I needed to see Zayn. I couldn’t go to sleep without seeing his face.
“Shh, just go to sleep, sweetheart. Everything will be fine,” She smiled at me. The medicine kicked in quickly and then I fell right asleep.
AN: Hey guys!! I hope you enjoyed this update!! I love reading your comments and seeing your votes so much (it makes my week and lets me know that people actually enjoy my writing). Anyways....if you want an early update in addition to next Friday's update, get the story to 115 votes and you'll get two updates...WOAHHH
ILYYY <3