ANNOUNCEMENT ON MY PAGE PLEASE READ
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
Friedrich Nietzsche
One month later
A gasp erupted Belle, as she bolted out from bed, whining loudly, her chest burning. Knocking over an item on her desk, sending it to the floor, the peices shattering and shooting across the floor. Another wail pushed from her lips, her knuckles whitening as she gripped her bed spread. The house was quiet except for her own cries. Derek would be back later today from his case. He'd be back.
Clambering off her bed, she ignored the pain of glass slicing and embedding itself into the bottom of her feet. Making her way to the bathroom where she pushed on the cold water, trying to put out the fire that spread across her skin. Curling up in the bathtub, clothes sticking to her body, blood mixing with the water, swirling down the drain. Sobs escaped her, to the point where she heaved violently, bile mixing with the water and washing away.
"Isn't this cute? Ecclesia is in love!"
"No," she whispered hoarsely, voice broken, throat raw with heat. "Please."
"You stay away from her!"
Fuck, no, no, "No Blue..."
"Awe, two little abominations..."
And that was it, a scream erupted from her. Body battered, a bang sounded on the front door, a woman making her way into Belle's room, brows furrowed at the bloody footprints in the direction of the bathroom. "Belle!" She called, "I'm coming in!"
Stepping in she froze at the sight of the girl, all curled up in herself, shaking while ice cold water pounding down from above. Savannah's eyes softened as she approached, hands raised, "Hey, Belle, I'm gonna shut the water off, okay?" After some coaxing she ended up pulling her from her tub, and settled her in a towel on her bed. Leaving momentarily for a med kit, she returned, picking the glass peices from the soft flesh of her feet and disinfecting it. "We should bring you to the hospital... I can call Derek-"
"No thank you." Belle whispered, much to the elder women's surprise. She been murmuring to the teen as she worked on her wounds, this was the first time she'd spoken back. "I'm okay, I have school."
Savannah faultered, "No, Belle, you can't be on your feet and it really would be-"
"No thank you, I'm sorry to have bothered you, I have to go to school now." Belle said softly, eyes glazed with thoughts. Savannah saw the look, before nodding, picking up the scraps from bandages and stepping away. Picking up her phone immediately.
Finding the contact number, she quickly pressed call, bringing it to her ear as she stepped out into the hall. "Derek? Somethings going on with Belle-".
***
The roar of her motorcycle fell over conversations as she rolled in the parking lot, everyone's eyes followed her just like every morning. Everything was just like ever other morning, except it wasn't . It wasn't like every other morning. The pain settling itself in her chest, a pang every second, proved that today, was not ever other fucking day.
Cutting the engine she heard the familiar rumble of an older car, Lis pulled right in next to her. They smiled at her, dressed in a jean jacket that they'd painted themselves. Of course that meant the back had an anarchy symbol with, "Eat the Rich" in bright red. The arms decorated in different political pins, like medals. They were also wearing a corset vest and black button up with ripped black jeans.
Lis walked over to Belle leaning on her bike, eyebrow raised, "I didn't get my good morning text, I didn't expect to see you today."
Belle sighed, picking at her nails, "Yeah- I'm, I'm sorry." She frowned as Lis shook their head.
"No, no," they rushed, locking their car with a beep, "I was picking on you!" They watched her carefully, shuffling their hair, "I uhm, are you okay? You usually tease me back..."
The huntress glances at her friend, pulling her jacket tighter around her body and shrugging, "m'fine."
The cotton candy haired teen watches her carefully, nodding once, before pulling her in to the side of their body, linking their arms. "Let's go kochanie, we have school."
And for the first time that day, the heat enveloping her chest cooled slightly, and Belle just held them that much closer as they headed into the building.
***
Belle whines as Lis laughed at her, they'd just left Pre-Calc so now she was moaning about not understanding math. "It's dumb, okay, numbers are numbers. I don't think letters belong!"
Her counterpart snorted, "Yeah, yeah, c'mon loser, let's go get food, Derek's still out of town right?"
She hums, nodding, "yeah, he should be back today though, he uh, they made the arrest last night."
"Ah, so they caught the serial killer?" Lis asked, as they stood in the lunch line. Other students talking loudly, "that's good, did anyone get hurt?"
Belle shook her head, "Spencer hit his shoulder on a locker I think, messed it up a little but other than that, they're all good."Once they hit the end of the line Belle smiled at one of the lunch lady's, "Heya Maria, you're looking great today." She winks as said woman giggles.
"Ooo, you're such a cutie, whatcha want today Baby? We got parfaits in."
The teen perked her brow, "Not those frozen strawberries?"
Maria leans over the counter, "for you? I made one special, used the fresh ones."
Belle laughed, "all right, you got yourself a deal."
When she and Lis got their food and made their way to the table and settled they glared at the meal infront of Belle. "That's unfair, why do people just like you?"
She shrugged, scooping a spoonful of yogurt and granola, opening it into her mouth. "I guess I'm just that loveable."
Lis nods, "that does add up. Are you ready for shop? You're working on that car right?"
The teen takes another scoop, "yeah, I think I'm replacing a good chunk of the engine today." She surveys the room, watching a group of teens laugh together at a table, "what about you? You're submitting a piece for that art show thing, right?"
They blush, "uh, yeah, I didn't think you'd remember."
Belle furrows her brows, picking up her apple and twirling it around her fingers, "Yeah, it's the 4th right? I've had it marked on my calendar since you told me."
"I... really?" Lis asks, her face agape, "that's... really?"
The huntress suddenly feels extremely small, disappointment consuming her, "unless you don't want me to come? I didn't mean to overstep."
Lis rushed, "no! I want... I uh, I'd really like it... if you came."
They shared a soft smile as the bell chimed, each heading on their own. Belle made her way to the shop class, waving at Jimmi. Her and the man had gotten relatively close, he was always supportive of her and told Jax off when he harrassed the teen. Making her way to her project she smiled, a good part of the frame was rebuilt, the axels fixed up, brake lines replaced and more. The only big thing was the engine.
Ignoring everyone else, she plopped her headphones on, playing her music and she got to work, the old Black Sabbath band tee that she'd designated for her work clothes covered in splashes of grease and oil.
For just an hour, she lost herself in the work. The only thing she focused on was the parts, eyes fixated on the metal puzzle. Hands getting covered in black soot, doing this reminds her of when her and Dean would fix up Baby together. God, she remembered learning about cars on the Impala. Steaming hot summers, cold beer and long days, the classic rock and jokes shared between the two. Singing along as they danced around the junk yard, head banging to the beat.
It was an old memory, hazy with warm buzzing feelings, loving smiles and a general sense of belonging and peace.
She looks up as she feels someone's eyes on her, seeing Jaxson she groaned, whiping her hands on a rag as she plucked her headphones off her head. "Can I help you?" She asks, twirling the freshly removed filter in her hands. "Do you need something...?"
He smiles, "I was just uh wondering what's with your chest?" Belle froze in place, ice rushing through her veins, "Now, I can dig the tats, even if they're a bit culty for me." He holds his phone in his had, smacking it against his palm before flipping the screen, "My friend snapped a pic of you in the locker room for me," he winks, "she was hesitant at first but when she saw the scars, she knew it was an opportunity she couldn't pass up, now it's all over snap and insta... they're calling you the cutting board."
Belle nodded, smiling once before leaping on him, her hands flying to his face, beating on it before she feels one of his friends pick her up from behind. Yanking her up, she felt a fist rain down on her cheekbone, another hitting her ribs. She was held there for a second, as Jaxson got up, blood dripping down his face.
"Oh, you're so gonna regret that slut." He struck her multiple times across her cheek again, her head snapping to the side. Jimmi flew over, pulling one of the boys off her, freeing her from his hold. Smiling, she jumps at Jaxson again, getting a good few hits before she was pulled off by a different person.
With her chest heaving she felt Jimmi hold her for a moment, "you're good kid, you're good." Suddenly a police officer burst in the door, eyes dark as he took in the beaten face of Belle and Jaxson.
"Alright, you two with me!" He yelled, grabbing Belle's arm and pulling her, into a hold. "Jim take him to conference room A I'll send in a damn nurse. Come on kid."
As blood dripped to the floor, Belle was pulled down the hall to another room, knocking the officer stepped in, a women's gasp met her, "alright, set her on the cot, I'll handle it." The man did, walking over to their desk and whispering to the other woman behind it. Nodding she grabbed a kit and left with him. "Hey, I'm Nurse Wellmont, let me get a look at you."
Her eyes roamed over the cuts on her face, whipping her split lip with a stinging disinfectant. "He really did a number on you hun."
As she spoke the door burst open, Lis stepped in, eyes wide with frenzy, their cheeks were stained with tears as they watched her. "Holy shit, I'm gonna kill him."
Belle grunted as the nurse moved back, putting ointment on her bruising cheekbone,"you're not supposed to be in here Mx.Zbawiciel," she looks at them and winks, "Just don't get caught." With that she stepped into the front area, leaving the two alone.
"Are you okay?" Lis whispered, eyes watching her split lip. "I saw the pictures and then the video and I panicked, everyone's talking about it all..." Their hands went to Belle's cheek, causing her to flinch away. Eyes on the floor, "that's some nasty bruises... everyone's pissed at Jaxson though, no one blames you."
Belle scoffed, "yeah that's exactly what I was worried about thanks." Lis sighed, looking down, "I'm sorry its just... "
Lis nods, "yeah, I'd fuck him up to. I mean... I may or may not have hit him on my way to you."
She looks up, "you did what?"
"Officer Brendan yanked me off before I could do anything vital." Lis admits, their knuckles bruised, "I just... I saw it and I got pissed and I knew they'd bring you here but... I just... I saw him and I got so fucking mad!" They looked at Belle softly, "you didn't deserve that shit."
The teen sighs, after they sit in silence for a few moments, she looks up at Lis who held her hand, "you gonna ask me, or what?" When they gave her a confused look Belle explained, "the pictures."
They watched her, licking their lips before glancing away, "I uh, it's your business, they... when they did that, that's assault Belle, you know that right? That was sexual harassment."
Belle looked away, shrugging, "Nah, I don't mind if you ask questions... it's you."
Lis smiled, "may I?" They gesture to her shirt, pulling it up slightly, exposing her angel warding tattoo. Belle froze as they hovered over it, not touching her. "What's it mean...?"
The huntress, watches them carefully, "This beautiful face and body I, angel of fire, saved in glory from the Pit." She begins, voice heavy, "This lovely form, full of stars, most detectable examplar of humanity, beloved work of God... If you should dare harm her,
prepare for a smite-ing, un weathered by any creature." (A close translation to Dean's carving, fit instead for Belle and Jay)
The teen hummed at her, "why did you get it?"
She shrugs, "I, uh, I really didn't... my uh, my ex girlfriend... she designed and gave it to me."
They looked at her agape, "Did... did you guys break up?"
Belle's eyes bore into the hazel colour of Lis', "I, no, she died."
"I'm sorry..." they whispered and Belle shrugged, sniffing, tears falling down her mottled cheek. Before their conversation can develop anymore, the police officer walked in, eyes cold as he looked at Belle.
Cranking his head toward the door, he crosses his arms, "let's go kid."
Nudging Lis reassuringly, she walks out behind her. They ended up outside of an office, "Look kid, Jaxson's parents are already in there, your Dad is on the way so, just sit here until they call you in."
So Belle sat on the uncomfortable chair, students watching her and whispering as they walk down the hall. Ears straining as yells come from the office, "I want her arrested!" She hears a high pitched voice scream and arguments follow.
Shrugging she settles in the chair deeper until the front doors bang open, a pissed off Derek stepping in. "You got in a fight?!" He yells as soon as he saw Belle, an office administrator following him and pulling them into a conference room. After she closes the door and tells them the principal would be with them, she left. Derek's arms crossed as he leveled her with a glare. "What the hell kid? How irresponsible-"
Belle glared, "irresponsible? Don't you want to hear what I have to say?!"
Derek shook his head, "frankly no, I'm a little too pissed that you decided hitting someone would solve your damn problems!"
"You don't even know what you're talking about! Can't you just trust me for a minute?!" She yelled back, more hurt than angry.
The agent just laughed, "how am I supposed to trust you when you do shit like this?!" He screamed, his fist hitting the table. They both decidedto ignor the jump of fear the teen did in respons. "You lie about Dean, you hide shit, don't think I've forgotten the entire thing with that priest and now you're starting fights?"
Belle scoffed, tears slipping down her cheeks. "I didn't start it!"
"So you didn't swing first?" He said, voice cold, anger underlying his tone, but more importantly, disappointment. "You can't do shit like this anymore Belle, you don't follow the rules of your old life!"
The teen watched him in disbelief, "I can't believe this shit" She hisses, voice stiff. "You won't even listen to me!"
"Listen to you?" Morgan's face contorted into an expression that she couldn't bring herself to look at. "When you've lied to me? What's gonna happen Belle? Huh? You gonna make something up?" He asks, stepping forward, "like you did when I asked you if you knew why Dean did what he did? He killed people and you protected his delusions!"
Belles laughed cynically, "what the hell are you talking about? What does this have to do with anything?!"
"Trust!" Morgan yelled, "you lied, you've been lying, if I asked you if Dean thought he was killing monsters, would you have told me the truth? Huh?"
The huntress narrowed her eyes, "No."
"Why?!" Derek erupted, arms crossed, "why protect him, he killed people!" The agent stops, "you've killed people." He says lowly.
Belle nods, "yup." She admits, hoarsely, "but I told you that when I met you. I said I hurt people before, you knew all of this before you took me in."
"Yeah and maybe that was a mistake!" Derek yelled, both people freezing as the words fell from his mouth. She looks at him and then nods once. "Kid, I didn't mean that."
She laughs, "didn't you?" They sit for a moment, before she moves shoving off Derek's hand as he tried to reach for her. "Nope." Belle smiled, "nah, it was a mistake."
With that she pushed out of the door, walking out of the building ignoring Derek's calls after her. Grunting as she walks to her bike, she swung her leg over it, kicking it so it roared to life.
You know what, fuck this, she didn't need this shit. Didn't need him. Ignoring the tears that rushed down her face, she sped down the road. Music blasting as she kept driving.
Drove to somewhere she didn't know.
Drove to places where she could forget.
Forget that Derek regretted her.
Forget that her father abandoned her.
Forget that today was the anniversary of Jaibrien's death.
Forget that she was still alive.
You're saying things you can't take back. And you don't even mean them.
-Joshilyn Jackson