when we got home yesterday, cops came and immediately started ransacking the house. we told lanie and matt about it and they asked us what they took.
"they took all of our laptops." justin began.
"clay's backpack." i added, holding my baby.
"and my phone." clay added.
"and what, if anything, will they find on your phone?" lanie asked him, sitting down.
"a text to... to bryce." he admitted.
"saying?" lanie asked.
"saying... saying i wanna kill him. it was after homecoming and everything, and i came home, and i was sitting here and i was mad, that's all. it was just words. and... i deleted them, but..." he trailed off.
"i will... talk to dennis this morning and we will all sit down with him after school. and you talk to no one about those texts. or anything to do with the case. none of you." she said, looking at me and justin.
"clay, did bryce do something to you? did he... threaten you?" matt asked. "did he say something to you on the field that night?"
"no." clay responded.
"then why the text?" matt asked.
justin, clay, and i all looked at each other.
"i have a meeting with the school principal, so i'm going to put her down and head to school." i said, hugging lanie and matt and walking out the door. i walked into the principals office and sat down.
"after what happened at homecoming, you promised you'd tone it down." he told me.
"i don't remember making that promise." i said to him.
"i warned you to stop the funeral protests or you'd be held responsible." he said.
"so i guess i'll be held responsible." i told him.
"i spoke with the superintendent this morning and this is what we decided: were calling an assembly tomorrow. in addition to our students, the hillcrest football team and coaches will be in attendance, and you will make a public apology."
"i will?" i asked. "or?"
"or the logic's next step is to suspend you for inciting a riot. this is just in the best interest of the student body." principal bolan said.
"are you serious? everything i've done has been in the best interest of the student body."
"tell me, miss andrews, these stunts you pulled, do you think they worked? are the students better off because of them?"
"i do. everything i'm doing is to make sure that the things that happened to me at this school, don't happen to other girls or even my daughter, in the future." i told him. "i think people are talking about it."
"but beyond that, what? make the apology, move on. now is not the time in this town to be the nail sticking out of the board." principal bolan said. "now get to class." he told me.
after the meeting, i texted justin to meet me in our make out spot. once i heard a knock, i instantly opened it and began to pull him in.
"why's the door locked? why're we even in here?" justin asked as i pulled him into a storage room. "we're public now?"
"listen, i've been thinking about my activism, and what i've been putting people through, what i've been putting you through. and bolan just gave me this ultimatum, and... i'm starting to feel like he's right. this is a bad time for me to start drawing attention to myself." i said to justin, freaking out.
"why is it a bad time for you?" he asked.
"i told ani that you and i went to the hospital together after homecoming." i said, causing him to lift his head in confusion. "she was starting to get suspicious and i just wanted to protect you."
"i didn't ask you to do that for me." justin said to me.
"i know, i know, okay? i panicked. really, i was with alex who took me to the hospital and that's what lanie told the cops, which is why i can't be getting into anymore trouble." i admitted. "if they start looking at me, if they start asking questions, it could be really bad for you. you need to get your alibi straight." i panicked.
"i just... i just don't understand. why did you lie to ani? why're you just telling me this now?"
"because there's a lot going on, j, can't you tell?" i asked him, frustrated. "i'm just trying to help you and help our family. analeia gains nothing if you're in jail for the rest of her life." i said to him.
"yeah, right. okay." justin told me, causing me to scoff and walk out, ignoring his calls out to me.
i was still walking away when i got a text from lanie.
from: lanie jensen
Ana has a fever of 101. It hasn't broken in an hour, so I'm taking her to the emergency room. Please meet us there. Bring Justin as well.
"shit." i said to myself. i pulled up my texts with justin and texted him.
to: justin 💙
ana has a fever. meet me in the office so we can go to the ER.
from: justin 💙
alright. i'm coming.
justin and i met up at the hospital and saw lanie who explained to us that analeia had pneumonia and had to stay there for a few days. guess where i was living for the next few days?
lanie decided to stay with the baby while i ran a few errands that were still on the agenda.
tw: descriptions of physical abuse
when i got back to school, i walked into the yearbook classroom and saw tyler in there.
"hey." i said to him.
"hey! are you going to HO? i just need to pack up." he said to me.
"that's actually why i found you. um, you should probably skip today. i'm not going to be staying long, and gonna be pissing everybody off in a big way." i said to him.
"again?" tyler asked.
"bolan's making me apologize. in front of an assembly and hillcrest is coming." i replied.
"you're kidding." tyler said.
"sadly, not kidding. anyway, casey and everyone else will probably lose their shit when i tell them, and i know you've only been going to those meetings to support me. and that means so much to me, but now i'm a total failure, so..."
"no you're not." tyler told me.
"you sweet. in the end, i didn't change a goddamn thing."
"you changed a lot. you changed me." tyler admitted.
"yeah? well, i made you an ally. i guess that's something." i said, smiling.
"i, um, i'm more than an ally." tyler confessed.
"what? what do you mean?" i asked.
"it's just... do you remember last summer at the crestmont? you asked me why i... everything that happened at spring fling."
"yeah." i replied.
"can i... can i show you something?" he asked, holding a usb.
"sure." i replied.
he opened his laptop and began showing me what looked like a suicide video. in it, he explained the things monty did to him before spring fling, and how he thought that life was never going to get better. when it was finished, i was in tears.
"tyler... i'm so sorry. i'm so sorry that this happened to you and i'm... i'm so, so sorry that i didn't know."
"it's okay. how would you know?" tyler asked, also in tears.
"because i know what monty's capable of. something like this never happened to me, but i've seen his dark side. i've been on the other side of his fists. i know what he's like. i should've known when you were avoiding him that something happened." i said to him.
"it isn't your job to know what's going on, kylie. you have so much other stuff going on." he said to me. "i mean, you have a baby to worry about."
i looked down and my eyes began overflowing with tears.
"when we were dating, i was sent to the hospital a total of fifteen times. fifteen times, he nearly beat me dead. you remember when i told you what monty did to me? during spring fling after... everything?" i asked. he nodded.
"yeah, you said monty nearly killed you when i was helping you with homework." i nodded.
"when we got home after you finished helping me, he accused me of cheating on him with you over and over, all while punching me in the face, kicking me again and again when i was down, and finishing it off with a kick to the face with his steel toe boots that he used to wear. that... that was what finally knocked me out. when i, uh, when i finally woke up, i was in a hospital room surrounded by cops, asking me if monty's story was true." i confessed.
"what... what was his story?" tyler asked, sitting down in front of me.
"that i got into a really bad fight at school." i said to him. "he broke thirteen of my ribs, one of which punctured my spleen, broke my nose, broke three of my teeth, and two of my fingers." i said. "the doctors said that i shouldn't have survived that assault. that's how bad it was. i knew and experienced what he was capable of." i said, in tears. "the point is, is that i should have known." i said, grabbing his hand.
"i'm sorry he did all of that. i didn't know." he said to me.w
"it's fine. i'm happy with my daughter and justin now. but, that kid in that video... that kid's not you anymore. you see that, right?" i asked.
"yeah... yeah, i'm getting better. just like you."
"yeah, just like me." i said, smiling. "have you told anyone else?"
"um, i told clay. i might tell dr. singh. she's... she's pretty good at her job." tyler replied.
"she is. you should tell her." i said, nodding.
"i told... bryce." he confessed.
"what? why... why would you tell bryce?" i asked.
"well, at first i thought he told monty to do it. but then... he wanted to help." tyler said. he showed me a voicemail from bryce.
"tyler, it's bryce walker. listen, that thing we talked about, i'm dealing with it. you're all good. take care of yourself, man."
when the voicemail finished, tyler spoke up.
"so, what if he told monty? and monty did something to him?" tyler asked.
"we don't know that's what happened, though."
"but they'll have to look at him. and it'll help clay's lawyers. it'll be like an alternate theory of the case. i looked it up." he said to me.
"are you ready to tell the police?" i asked him.
"i don't know." he said, shaking his head.
"listen, you only tell your story when you're ready, okay? and when you are, i'm here for you. always." i told him.
"okay." he said, smiling at me.
i began walking out when i had the urge to stop in front of the guys locker room.
"hey, monty." i said, crossing my arms as he walked out.
"what the fuck do you want?" he asked me.
"what's your deal?" i asked.
"what do you mean?" he asked me. "if you're asking for money for that kid, it's not happening. we had a deal."
"first of all, don't ever mention my daughter again. second of all, what's your deal?" i asked him. "why are you still hurting people?" i asked. "was nearly killing me not enough? was your dad nearly killing me on multiple occasions not enough?" i asked. he started chuckling.
"if this isn't about the kid, is this about football?" he asked. "and my dad and i never laid a hand on you, so stop spreading bullshit around."
"lie all you want, medical records don't lie." i said, shaking my head. "and no, it's not about my daughter or football. it's about you. why're you so cruel?" i asked.
"i'm not cruel." he said, smiling. i chuckled.
"you're joking, right? your dad beat me for ten years and then you started beating me two years into our relationship." i scoffed. "there's seriously something fucked up about you, and i really wish you could tell me what it is."
"you know i had a bad childhood, ky. don't ask stupid questions." he replied, beginning to walk away.
"yeah, that might be part of it. but what else?" i asked. "because you weren't always like this. not until we were 14." i said, shaking my head.
"look, what the fuck?" monty asked, turning around. "what do you want?"
"i just want to understand. but i doubt i ever will." i replied, shaking my head.
"you're a crazy bitch." he told me
"i know. you told me that for four years." i said, going closer to him. "but you know what? that means that you should be scared of me."
"why should i be scared of you?" monty asked.
"because you know what i can take. you know how strong i am. that should make you scared." i said, walking away to the HO meeting.
casey was talking as i stepped in.
"hey." i said to them.
"what?" casey asked.
"i'm not here to ask for my place back, i'm just asking for you to hear me out and i can't stay long because i've got some family stuff happening." i said to her. casey looked around and let me talk. "it's important to make a mess, to make noise, you're right. but i don't know. i worry sometimes that the louder we get, the harder it is for someone to even find their voice. to tell their story. and that's the first thing that needs to happen, right? people need to be able to speak before they can shout." i finished.
casey looked at me when she nodded.
"okay. what're you getting at?" she asked.
"i need your help. all of you." i replied.