Hello! This was requested by @Shove_A_Cupcake and @Mikamouse3 and uses Prompt 30 (Ok so it's storming and I'm really scared of storms...can we possibly cuddle?...). So I hope you enjoy it!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jason Todd Pov
When I wake I remember that my nightmare had once been real and worse than the fragmented reenactment my brain offers. Instead of relief on waking I get the trauma made fresh and raw. My nightmares being more like night terrors. I recall how my body jarred with each blow, how the pain seared through my skin.
My head spins and it's as if my tongue feels too big for my mouth. I feel the need to wipe away non-existent tears that want to form. Every ounce of me wishes I had the nerve to swing my body off the top of a building. To walk deep into the depths of the ocean and stay down under. To take a gun and shoot away this pain. I try so hard to focus but it's like trying to run through water. The man who did this to me is still at large, not because we don't know who he is, but because of Bruce's stupid moral compass. He'll do it again to someone else and someone else after that. When you decide to remove someone from society the cause of the violence shouldn't matter. Don't we deserve protection from violent criminals regardless of the cause of their actions?
My fingers are jumping rhythmically as if in spasm, an after effect of having them broken by the Joker all those years ago. My breathing ragged and skin covered in cool sweat. With shaking hands I reach out beside me, searching for (Y/N)'s sleeping form but only find cool bedsheets. I let out a long sigh and drag a hand over my face, despite my constant complaints about being tired, I'm really not. I'm not sure whether it's from the pit or if the period of being dead which messed up my body clock, but I've discovered that I don't truly get 'tired'. But ever since (Y/N) and I got together, it seems to be the most 'semi-normal' thing I can do with my girlfriend.
I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and haul my body upright, looking out the window. Black clouds sprawl across the sky. The scent of rain hits me, dark and heady. In the silence comes a low crackle of thunder, rolling across rooftops to the pattering of tiny raindrops. For a moment, everything stops. Even the wind holds its breath. Then, a streak of silver splits the sky, and the downpour begins. It takes a moment to figure out where the pain is coming from. My hands are clenched so hard that I'm in danger of drawing blood. I can't help but compare the night with my state of mind. Just like the weather, my insides are in chaos. A mess. The next step is the increase of my heart rate, my adrenaline levels rising, my balls trying to crawl up inside my body and my brain starting to fire out negative thoughts like a machine gun. Sweat has completely covered my body and my heart feels like it's going to explode. It feels as if my skin has another layer, like a bin bag. The negative thoughts keep coming like waves on rocks. The arguments in my head begin to get faster and worse. I start pacing and moving around the room irrationally.
(Y/N) POV
Thunder cries out from the blackened sky, the clouds invisible above. My body shudders and my teeth grind in anticipation for the next hit. The trees do not sway, they creak, bend and moan as their fine limbs are ripped away, the leaves become ammunition in the gale. With each thunderous boom, I squeak in fear. I know it is silly but I can't help it. It is just the same as when my siblings flicked a towel in my face and laughed every time I blinked. It sounds as if a mountainous rock is about to destroy my apartment. Maybe if it was the flashes alone I'd adjust, but the cold rain and flashing lights keep me stuck in adrenaline mode.
Just as my eyes begin to adjust to the darkness of the kitchen there comes a bright flash, flickering before dying. It was not a bolt, streaking to earth, but more like an almighty camera flash that blankets everything at once. Moments later there comes the rumbling thunder. Another flash burns into my dilated pupils followed hotly by it's cracking boom. In seconds, I drop to the floor huddling under the nearest table and pull my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around my shins; if I could just curl up into a ball, I wouldn't have to face this, I'd be protected from everything around me. My eyes, red and puffy from crying, squeeze shut to push more tears out. I let my head fall down to my knees, and I pull my legs closer to me.
"Jason!" I cry out.
My cries are lost beneath the thunder. I can't breathe, it felt as if someone is choking me. My heart is racing and I attempt to pull myself into a tighter ball. A choked cry for help forces itself up my throat once more. Over the sound of torrential rain, I manage to hear soft footsteps and the cocking of a gun.
"(Y/N)?!" He calls out.
Jason Todd POV
Her scream makes the hair strand straight up on the back of my neck. It is the loudest most piercing scream I had ever heard. It sounded like a scream of wild panic and hysteria. A scream of hysteria and disbelief, bordering on terror. My hands tighten around my gun as I silently search the apartment despite my own mental struggle to avoid panicking.
"Come on speak to me babe," I murmur to myself.
"(Y/N)!" I yell.
"Jay, I'm here," She whimpers.
My eyes dart around the room to only find empty space. Maybe I'm still dreaming. Does the apartment look right? Are there any clues to say that I'm not currently standing in the living room?
"Where are you, sweetheart?" I ask
"I'm here." She softly answers.
I notice movement under the dining room table and approach with caution. I repress the flashbacks which attempt to play in front of my eyes each time I hear the thunder. (Y/N) looks up at me with wide eyes. Her eyes are frozen over like the surface of a winter puddle. She's in there, I know it, but it's like she just took a huge step back from life.
"Breathe baby breathe. It's okay. You're going to be okay. Just breathe. Breathe. Think of all the times in the past that you've felt like this. All the times where you've felt this anxious and this overwhelmed. All the times you've felt this level of pain. Remind yourself of how each time you made it through. Life has thrown so much at you, and despite how difficult things have been, you survived. Breathe and trust that you can survive this too." I softly comfort her.
I scoop her into my arms and carry her to the bedroom, gently laying her down on the bed before I lay down beside her. Immediately she tucks into my side. We lay there for a second, the thunder unrelenting. I stroke her hair, hoping I was helping even in the slightest.
"It's storming and I'm really scared of storms...can we possibly cuddle?..." She murmurs.
"I would never say no to you sweetheart," I reply with a soft smile.
(Y/N) POV
Despite the heaviness in my stomach, it flutters at the feeling of his body pressed against mine. I sink into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture. I let my head rest upon Jason's chest, listening to the sound of his heart beating, as time goes on I notice it's fainter than it should be. The almost non-existent beat of his heart is another reminder of his death. All my thoughts stop as if my heart takes over from my head. Next, Jason gently squeezes me as if he needs to check if I am really there with him, really there and really real... and I was, body and soul. Jason coils his arm around my waist, lips finding my temple easily. We exchange gentle kisses that leave me just a tiny bit breathless and my stomach in knots. Jason could soothe me like no-one else. It is impossible to stay anxious or upset with Jason around. No matter what Jason is going through he stays reassuring and kind.
"Are you okay?" I ask.
"Once you're smiling and laughing again, I'll be just fine." He answers.
"I love you," I quietly admit.
"I love you too," He replies.