Ansel and I decided to hang out today. He likes me......well I'm not to sure but it's possible he does from what our friends.....im just basing it off of what they think & I like him but..........Unfortunately I don't think I could ever be more than a friend to him. Ansel is so talented & gifted....he can sing, act, dance, model just everything & he has one of the kindest heart in the world. He comes from a family with money....his life intimidates me a little. I'm glad we became friends but us being more I just think realistically I'm may not be the best fit to be his girlfriend.
It was a Saturday night & a bunch of us decided to meet up for dinner. I had some time to kill because we weren't meeting until 9 it was only 7 & so I was just sitting back watching tv until it was time to go. Then suddenly I hear the doorbell ring. I go to answer it & it's Ansel.
"Hey Big guy....what are you doing here?" I asked simply while giving him a hug as he comes in.
"I came to pick you up so we can go to dinner together...I was already out and about close by & I didn't feel like going all the way home so I came here" Ansel said
We then went in the room where I was watching tv. I was watching criminal minds & he decides to change my channels.
"Hey you can't just barge in here & change my channel. I was watching that" I said trying to reach for my remote.
"I'm a guest I get to do whatever I want" Ansel said
"I'm going to beat you up if you don't give me my remote " I said jokingly yet seriously
"The verbal abuse is real" Ansel said not taking me seriously
"Ansel change it back" I said
"No" Ansel said purposely being difficult
So then I started playfully punching him & pinching his sides I grab the remote & then Ansel just tickles me & now we are play fighting. Finally Ansel locks my arms & has me pinned on the couch putting all his weight on me. Because I am laughing so hard right now it's hard to breathe right
"Get off" I said
"Say I'm sorry" Ansel said
"No you say I'm sorry" I said
"I'm going to bite you if you don't say sorry" Ansel said
"BITE ME" I said sassing him & Ansel bites my cheek really hard. & I playful screaming
"This is a abuse" I said
"You said bite me' Ansel said laughing
"It stings" I said & then Ansel plants a kisss on it
"Does that feel better?" Ansel said
"No" I said and then he kisses my cheek again
"How about now? " Ansel asked
"No get off of me" I said & he just sucks his teeth & gets off of me.
"Y/n"
"What you vampire"
"Is there something wrong with me?"
"What are you talking about?" I asked knowing we are about to have a serious moment
"I'm talking about every time were close it's like you hold up a shield. & like I have to tell you I've been dropping obvious hints that I like you....i like you a lot and every time that I do I get the feeling you don't like me back...& I want to know why...what is wrong with me for you to not like me?" Ansel asked
"Can you put like into context please"
"Obviously I like you more than just a friend"
I was quiet
"Do you not like me in that way...I need to know because I need to always treat you like a friend"
"Ansel I do like you"
"But?"
"I like you but I don't think I would be the best fir for you" I said
"Why would you think that?"
"Because you are really special..your handsome, talented, famous, funny, intelligent & have one of the most humbled hearts that God can ever create in a man like you. I see that & I know that. & I just think that you belong with some one that has the same thing beautiful a model, or a singer who is just as talented as you. they make tumblr collages with captions relationship goals underneath it. I'm just a girl that loves music, sports and likes to shop & enjoy time with her friends and family. I can't compete with all those other girls who are more beautiful than me. I can't and I won't" I said
"It's sad to know now that you can't see yourself deserving to be the girl that tumblr makes captions of. I hate that you have this idea of who I should be with because of what I enjoy doing. & that really hurts you generalize me into this image you think that's right." Ansel said
"Why would you want to be with me anyway?" I asked
"Why wouldn't I want to be with you? Why wouldn't anyone want to be with you? Why do you think your not deserving to have someone that's always going to be there for you and care about you. ...Wow Y/n I'm really shocked that your really this insecure...your insecure when it comes down to letting your guard down when it comes to being with someone. And I'm shocked you feel this way to me because I thought we were close" Ansel said
"We are close Ansel I just I don't know something is wrong with me. I just have a hard time letting someone in to get that deep I don't know...." I said
"Well what do you know?" Ansel asked
"I'm not sure I'm just use to being by myself but when it comes to you it's just different. Like I said I really like you and I want to be more but Ansel I don't know how to. so what do you want me to do" I asked getting teary eyed because it's frustrating to say what I feel and mean.
"Y/n I didn't mean to upset you, I was just frustrated because you shut me down......im sorry don't cry please..your to beautiful to have tears in your eyes. " Ansel said pulling me into a hug.
"I hope one day soon you can give me the chance to prove to you that you deserve the best & to be treated like a princess. I'm just trying to show that i can be someone you can trust and love." Ansel said
"Can you help me not be insecure?" I asked
"Only if your open to it...yes"
"I am"i said looking into his eyes trying to dry my tears
"Ok" Ansel said then gently whipping my tears away.