Alright, kids! Before you guys read this story please watch the video above as the story is based on it! As soon as I found the video I was so excited to write this cause it just fit so well. Anyway, this was requested by @ForeverASoilder so I hope you enjoy it!!
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(Y/N) Pov
The streets were once sleek with new tarmac, now they are greyed by the bleaching of the sun. The road is a monochrome patchwork, each one lined with a shiny border of tar. Despite these fixes, there are still cracks and the potholes grow larger with each passing year. The trees that were once fine saplings with soft spring foliage are now gnarled embittered trees growing tall but without strength, competing unnaturally against the towering apartment blocks they were planted too close to. The bark is mossy from the perennial dampness and incessant rain, except for a few weeks of reprieve in the summer. The sidewalk, for the most part, is still smooth concrete, albeit scattered with litter and the debris of the moulting trees. The pedestrians walk with their heads down and hurried. At intervals are the street-lamps, once painted in glossy green, now dappled with grey chips of the undercoat. I walk through the streets, recalling the earlier conversation Kori and I had this morning.
"He misses you..." Kori sighed.
"He'll get over me," I replied bitterly.
"He still loves you (Y/N), please give him another chance!" She pleaded.
"Stop it, Kori. I'm beginning to get sick of people telling me what to do! Just let me deal with it by myself." I snapped.
"Just for one second, please, try and remember..." She urged.
"Remember what?" I asked angrily.
"Remember what it feels like. All of those times when you see him and you cannot breathe until you're with him. Or those times at work when you-you can't stop looking at the clock because you know that he's standing right out there waiting for you. Don't you remember what that's like?" She explained.
I clench my jaw and stop walking, I close my eyes for a brief second and take a deep breath as I calm myself down. I open my eyes again to see a man who looks as he hasn't shaved in a while standing in front of me. Unflinching, unblinking, he blocks my path. His face is mostly masked by a handkerchief. The knife that is being toyed with in his thick fingers glimmers in the sunlight as it is twirled so deftly. He has the look of a man who once had muscles, broad over the back and thick in the neck. He speaks without any nerves, this isn't his first dance in a Gotham alley-way.
"Wallet, jewellery, now." He demands.
"I don't have anything valuable. Please just leave me alone!" I reply.
Footfalls in the trash behind me tell me I am surrounded. I stand sweating and shaking, tears building up in my eyes. Something hard collides with my head, an array of colours explode before my eyes and I stumble forward in a daze. I do my best to ignore the immense pain forming in my head. I feel a cold and hard object being jabbed into my back causing me to gasp.
"I'm gonna count to three and if I don't have what I want in my hand, I will shoot you." The man behind me threatens.
"I beg you, please don't!" I cry out.
"One...two...three" He counts.
I hold my breath, the noise reverberates in my ears. Blood soaks into my shirt, radiating outward. I cry out before collapsing to the ground. I hear the men yelling before gunshots echo throughout the alley. Pain throbs in my stomach, it's deep and hot, but not in a nice way. It feels like someone has their hand in my stomach and is squeezing my organs as hard as they can. I can only hold still and breathe, breathe slow and deep, doing my best to stay conscious.
"Shit..." Someone whispers.
I flinch away from the person but groan when the pain increases once more. The man swings me up in his arms with caution, my head rolls back between my shoulder blades as he rushes me through the streets. Darkness invades my vision like an unwanted house guest but I notice the Red Helmet that the man wears, similar to the one that Red Hood wears.
"Just focus on my voice right now." He says.
The smell of gunpowder and cheap cologne awakens memories long forgotten, echoes of the summers spent with Jason playing in my mind. I needed him to stay but I let him drift away from me, no, I pushed him away from me.
Flashback:
I walk through the halls of Wayne Manor, looking for my boyfriend. The house seems sadder in an odd way as if all of the happiness was sucked out of the air. I finally bump into Bruce, a smile spreading on my face when he notices me.
"Have you seen Jason anywhere?" I ask.
"Who?" Bruce replies.
"Jason...your son, my boyfriend," I answer hesitantly.
"Huh?" He murmurs.
"Are you serious? What's going on with you? How can you forget you have a son?" I question.
"He's gone away for a while." He replies simply.
"Wait...why would he leave without telling me? Anyway, just because someone leaves...it doesn't mean that you forget about them. What the hell Bruce?" I scold him.
"WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH IF I REMEMBER HIM?" He roars suddenly.
"Because you love him!" I respond my voice barely above a whisper.
I walk away from Bruce and head for the door. The tears that fall from my eyes are not due to sadness but from frustration and anger. But I can't stop loving him. To come so close to pure love and lose it so suddenly is something no medication can heal. I have never been an angry soul, never a violent person, but once love has gone it takes hold faster than you could ever imagine. Why would he leave me alone?
Jason Pov
(Y/N)'s blood flows thickly over my fingers, still warm. I should have been there earlier, god, why didn't I get there earlier? I set her down on the operating table, allowing Alfred to take over. My fist slams into the wall next to me and I yell out in frustration.
"What's going on?" Dick asks.
"She was shot!" I snap.
"I'll do my best to help her Master Jason..." Alfred says.
I watch as (Y/N) is hooked up to different medical machines, the beeping of the heart monitor disrupts the silence that once filled the cave. I run a bloody hand through my hair, the sigh that escapes my lips is slow and shakey. My eyes remain fixed on (Y/N), I am tired as hell but know I won't be able to sleep until she's fine.
Death isn't kind. I know that. It snatches where it can, taking people who are far too young, far too good. It doesn't pretend to care, it doesn't pretend to distinguish. Death had ripped away almost everyone I cared about as a child, I won't let death take (Y/N)...not today. That's when I hear the haunting ring of the heart monitor, I watch the screen as the flat line runs through it. I can feel my own heart pounding in my chest.
"No, no, no, no, no. Come on, (Y/N). Wake up! Come on. Wake up! Can you hear me? (Y/N). (Y/N), open your eyes. Come on, come on...come on listen to me, (Y/N). Hey, show me your eyes, okay? (Y/N), you have to open your eyes. (Y/N)..." I plead.
(Y/N) Pov
The world is trembling, shaking, blurring at the edges. I can't tell up from down. I'm not sure if I'm breathing. The pain running through my body is unbearable, building, building, building...A scream is torn from my chest. There is a moment of silence, then everything shatters. I find myself sitting in a chair, tv remote in my hand. I frown and press the button to turn it on, the tv in front of me reveals a girl and a boy laying underneath the night sky, admiring the stars above while huddled under a blanket, pillows under their heads. Tears sting my eyes as I realise the boy and girl are Jason and I.
~~Memory~~
Under the stars, our whispered words and tangled limbs feel like a little touch of heaven, warm, together, cozy. I wish I can extend the night just so I can stay close to him for longer, safe in his embrace. His arms wrapped right around me bring a peace I've never known before, a calming of the storms in my heart. In his embrace, I start to believe that there is nothing out there to fear, that all there is sunshine, beautiful trees and kind people - friends to be. But then he has to leave, often before the sun is in the sky and I must stand alone, be my own person. I could never let another close to me like this, but he's so different. I feel his chest rise and fall against my back, a sigh escapes my lips as I notice Jason's movement.
"Don't leave me, call in sick or something." I plead tiredly.
"I wish I could sweetheart but I gotta go to work..." He mumbles.
"Why can't you tell me where you work?" I ask.
"You know why darlin'. It's for your own protection, I promise." He replies.
"Just be safe," I whisper.
"Always. Remember I love you." He mumbles as he kisses my cheek.
"I love you too," I respond.
~~End~~
Alone in the vanishing mist of harmony, I begin to cry. He was never the problem, my imagination was. I could have made up any story: nice, kind, realistically boring ... but instead, it was my paranoia who held the script-writer's pen. It inked in him ignoring me instead of simply being busy. It inked in feelings he held toward other people, romantic feelings and attractions instead of him being distracted and stressed with work. I had been so busy reacting to my own drama, my own inner sit-com, that I stopped seeing him for who he is, stopped using my heart as my eyes.
I wake from my heavy slumber with a gasp. There is no sleepiness, no slow warming up. Within seconds of realizing I was unconscious, I am on my feet, eyes wide, panic running through my veins. I am first aware of the coolness in the air and its loamy fragrance. It was chaos in my head; I did not know where I am. How did I get here? I wonder if I'm still dreaming as I sit up to take in the gloomy area around me. I bite my lip to keep from crying out. A sharp pain shooting through my body, colourful spots flashing in front of my eyes. Where there should be memories is blank space, like a soft beige wall bereft of photographs. I notice a man with tousled black hair with a white streak running through his bangs sleeping on a couch in the corner of the room. His face is strong and defined, familiar. His dark eyebrows, slope downwards in a serious expression.
I hesitantly clear my throat, hoping to wake the man up and have him explain why I'm here. His eyes open, immediately landing on me, a relieved smile forming on his face. They are like the ocean, so full of life yet so uncertain. We stare at each other for what feels like an hour before he jumps from his seat and engulfs me in his arms. His body is warm and toned as he hugs me, comforting to the touch. His voice is deep, with a serious tone. Finally, everything seems to click into place and I manage to recover the forgotten name of the man in front of me. Jason Todd, the Red Hood, my ex-boyfriend.
"You scared me (N/N)." He sighs in relief.
"Is kidnapping me going to become a regular occurrence?" I ask.
Jason Pov
I view myself a serious person but (Y/N) always knew how to make me laugh. But my laughter is cut short when I notice she is waiting for a response.
"Oh uh, no Darlin'." I pause "But onto a more serious topic, what's the last thing you remember?".
"Weird question but uh, the last thing I remember is you telling me about your identity crisis." She replies.
My breath seems to become caught in my throat as I hear her words. That was two weeks ago. I hear a quiet voice in my head...only two words...retrograde amnesia. There is absolutely no way to treat it except for letting her recover over time. I leave her alone and find Bruce stationed at the bat-computer.
"How is she?" He asks.
"She doesn't remember the last two weeks Bruce," I respond.
"Retrograde amnesia most likely due to blunt force trauma to her head." He informs me.
(Y/N) pov
A photograph, that is all it takes for tears to burst my dam of restraint. I clutch the solid wooden frame tightly in my hand, able to see a ghostly reflection of my face in the thin sheet of glass that covered it. It looks wrong. I look past my own dreary eyes and stare upon the two faces that had been caught in a moment of pure perfection. The image shows Jason and I wrapped in each other's arms, both of us laughing in delight.
I focus on Jason's eyes, they are glistening with the twinkle of the laughter that I love. Now, it seems that they laugh at me. Reminding me of what I am losing. I am numb, yet somehow in agony. The tears flow down my cheeks and drip from my chin. Where there should be memories is blank space. My grief comes in waves and threatens to consume me entirely. I want to remember. God, I want to remember so much. I play with my fingers, the reality of what I'm going through way too painful for me to continue thinking about. The sound of footsteps catches my attention causing me to look up. I put on a fake smile in an attempt to hide my pain from Jason.
"What you have, it's called retrograde amnesia. We...I can't cure it." He pauses.
He wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me close to him. Despite the heaviness in my stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of her body pressed against his. A feeling of familiarity rushes over me. I sink into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture. His touch making everything better somehow. We sit in silence, understanding each other's pain without words.
"How bad is it?" I ask.
"You could forget me..." He whispers.
"No..I won't" I cry out.
My sobs are stifled at first as I attempt to hide my grief, then overcome by the wave of my emotions I break down entirely, all my defences washed away in the salty tears. A shorter boy walks in, his eyes softening as they rest on us. His arms are wrapped firmly around his laptop. I smile politely but conceal myself behind Jason's body, unsure of the person blocking the doorway.
"Yo dude, Dick thinks he's found a way to help (Y/N) remember stuff." The boy says.
"Let's go find him," Jason whispers softly.
I allow myself to be lead through the cave, hope surging through my veins. After many twists and turns through the complex cave, we reach the area that the boy had told us about. A tall man rushes towards us, an excited grin forming on his face. A bright blush spreads across my cheeks as I notice the skin-tight suit he wears. The blue and black of his suit only accentuates his beauty. I avert my eyes to the ground and grasp onto Jason's hand for reassurance.
"What have you got Dick?" Jason asks.
"Well, not a lot but having someone from her past should help her remember, someone who had an impact." He pauses and turns to me "It needs to be someone who can pull you back, someone that has a strong connection to you," Dick explains.
"So, who would that be?" Jason turns to me.
"You...I think," I reply nervously.
Jason's features buckle just slightly before he speaks, the only betrayal of his heartbreak. There is a tightening in my chest. I open my lips but no sound can make it past. The only key to regaining my memories is Jason, I know it. I don't fight the tears which fall from my eyes. I don't know why I'm crying but I don't want to stop. No matter how badly I've treated Jason in the past, he has done everything he can to help me. Why? God, what did I do to deserve someone as amazing as him? Why did I push him away from me? Why was I so stupid?
"(Y/N) look at me, you're going to make it, you'll be fine." Jason reassures.
His hand rests below my ear, his thumb caressing my cheek, brushing away the tears which decorate my face as if they are small pearls. I lean in, so my forehead rests against his. We close our eyes. Both of our breaths are shaking. I gently lean in and kiss Jason's warms lips.
"Remember... oh please god, just remember," I whisper under my breath as we pull away.
Got a feeling that I'm going under
But I know that I'll make it out alive