Lassitude ~33
Cameron Dallas' pov
I quietly walk into the gazebo with G as I watch my daughter slow dance with Hayes. He notices I am here and he continues to make her laugh. I notice how happy she is at the moment. I nervously stand here waiting for when it's my turn to talk to her.
After an argument with Shawn, I'm pretty shaken up. He's freaking out and I haven't told my wife anything and now she's even more mad and upset with me. Another thing I must fix when I get back. I have way too much on my mind. I'm also shaken up, because I'm afraid to mess up Grace's night by being here.
It's important to show her how much she means to me. I have been a terrible parent to her for awhile and I have to tell her that it's not her fault. The thought of losing her scares me and I don't want her to be thinking about the things she has been saying to Shawn and Jack.
I'm the worst father to exist at the moment. I can't believe I've made her so upset and made her afraid of me. I never wanted that.
"I want you to dance with one more person," Hayes says to her. My heart beats miles per second.
"Okay," I hear my daughter giggle. It's the cutest thing I've heard. She's happy. Hayes looks towards me nervously and Grace carefully turns around. I watch as her smile slightly falters and fear shows across her face. "D-dad?"
I stand frozen for a moment forgetting how to speak. I blink a few times and take a deep breath before taking a step towards her.
"Happy birthday princess," I start off quietly. "I... wanted to apologize to you." I gulp feeling nervous. This is really hard for me. "I'm really sorry for upsetting you and putting you through what I've done. I hope maybe we can talk about it?"
"You yelled at me and took Claire's side," she says hurt. "You hurt my feelings a lot."
"I'm really sorry. Is there anyway I can help ease this?"
"I-I want to come home." I notice her eyes watering and I walk over to her. I wrap my arms around her immediately and kiss the top of her head several times.
"Of course you can princesss. I want you to come home. I miss you. Your mother misses you and Ryan misses you too."
"You scared me dad. You were being so mean. You wouldn't listen to me." There is a tug to my heart with guilt.
"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so very sorry." I now hear sniffles and I'm afraid as my heart escalates.
"I thought you were so disappointed in me that you wouldn't want me anymore." I pull away immediately and look down at her. I place my hands to the side of her face.
"I love you so much Grace. I would never think that. You mean everything to me," I answer in all seriousness. "I am proud of you more than anything." She nods slightly as I wipe her fresh tears away.
"I didn't mean to talk back to my professor. I was so tired and snapped back."
"It's okay princess. It's fine."
"I'm really sorry for being rude to Claire."
"I don't think you are," I half chuckle. "It's okay if you don't like her. I can't force you to."
"Y-you're not mad about that?"
"No, I'm just confused. Why you don't like her. Princess, she's one of my best friends for the longest time and she's your moms best friend, I don't understand why you don't like her." She looks at me confused.
"You don't remember?"
"Remember what princess?" Her eyes looks up at me and is unsure if she wants to tell me at the moment. "You can trust me," I say to her quietly. We've swayed back and forth to the music for quite awhile now.
"You and Claire kissed each other." I frown slightly trying to remember a time this happened. I don't recall a time.
"I don't remember this," I say softly. "When did this happen?" Claire and I have always been honest with each other. She has never mentioned something like this.
"Five years ago. I don't know who started it, but you guys were talking about someone named Peter and she was stressed. Then all of a sudden you guys were making out." My mouthparts as the fuzzy memories sort of comes back to me. I still don't recall a kiss.
"The kiss must have been a mistake," I say slowly. "I don't remember that. I remember that night Claire told me about Peter. I don't remember anything else happening."
"You were celebrating Claire's welcoming to the show. Wh-who is Peter?" Everyone is going to find out at this point. I feel really bad that Claire is going to have to face Shawn tonight unexpectedly. I've already warned her. My daughter looks up at me questionably as she waits for my answer. I may as well tell her.
"H-he's your cousin."
Claire Johnson's pov
I have tears flowing down my face as I read the text sent from Cameron about an hour ago. Shawn is going to kill me. Worse, he will try to take Peter away.
I sat in my car parked in front of the Dallas residence freaked out and unsure how I'm going to do this. I had a feeling maybe Riley would notice, but I didn't think Shawn was going to be here today since he was suppose to be out.
I shaky take my deep breath and reach for the glove compartment box and take out the yellow envelope where I keep Peter's birth certificate and paperwork. I take that and Peters backpack before getting out.
What if Shawn hates me or even worse, he doesn't accept Peter as his son? The many possibilities run through my head that it scares me and has been stressing me for the last couple of hours.
I approach the door and wonder if anyone actually told Peter. It scares me if he'll be angry with me. I slowly bring my hand to the doorbell and press it. I stand nervously as I wait for someone to open the door.
The door opens moments later and it's my cousin who opens the door. He has a worried look and brings me into his arms.
"How mad are they?"I ask worriedly.
"The fact that Shawn found out this way, he's still pretty much in shock. He threw a huge fit with Cam, Sam and I. Everyone was outside or had already left when everything happened."
"How about Peter?" Jack shakes his head.
"He doesn't know. He's with Ryan, Cooper and Shawn at the moment." I look down feeling a little panicky. "Claire, he wants to talk you. I think Ri might have her suspicions too." Jack gives me a weak smile and gives me a hug before we both walk in.
In the living room I see Ryan, Cooper, Peter and Shawn on the couch. They all look up towards me and I focus my eyes on Peter.
"Mom!" Peter smiles as both Cooper and Ryan exchange confused looks.
"Hey Peter," I say lightly as he makes his way over to me. He hops his way over and I walk closer so I can hug him. He wraps his arms around me and I kiss the top of his head feeling safe that he's in my arms. Peter and I are pretty close.
"How was part of set today?"
"It was..." I look up towards Shawn and see an expression I can't tell what. "Okay." Peter nods and smiles. "Happy birthday Ryan," I half smile.
"Thank you Claire," Ryan smiles and tries to remain calm with confusion. Shawn stands and I feel myself getting really nervous.
"I'm going to talk to your mother for a few minutes," Shawn says in a tone that I was hoping he wouldn't use. Peter nods and I put his bag down by the couch as I make my way towards the back.
Maybe it's best if we're outside. I walk outside on the porch where I see Riley, Sam, Matt, Nash by the table.
"Claire," Riley breathes unsure what to think.
"Hey Riley," I say nervously and Sam has an apologetic expression. Matt and Nash has no clue what is going on. "Where are all the girls?"
"They're down in the basement actually." She looks a little sick and stressed.
"Are you doing al-"
"Claire," Shawn interrupts and I comb my hair with my fingers.
"Sorry," I say lightly. I excuse myself and make my way down the steps towards the pool area. I takes a seat at one of the chairs and Shawn takes a seat beside me. My eyes are fixed at the pool that is lit.
I know he's staring at me and I can feel my heart racing. I know I was nervous to see him yesterday, but I didn't think the next time I saw him would be about our son. I wonder what is going through his mind at the moment.
"Shawn... I-" I stop unsure how to explain this.
"How could you not tell me Claire?" Shawn asks in a tone I wasn't expecting. I look towards him and his eyes filled with confusion.
"I was afraid. You left me Shawn. I didn't know how to approach you with this news."
"I have a son. What is there to keep this away from me?"
"You had a girlfriend and you were happy."
"I wasn't even dating Caitlyn when Peter was first born! There was the few months period of time before I dated her!" He snaps. His mood just changed in an instant.
"You were on a tour and I was in school! You wanted me to call you so you could cancel a few tour dates so you could see me? I doubt that was going to happen." And I wasn't doing well, but I didn't want to tell him that. He wouldn't have cared about my health anyway.
"Yes, I would have came back Claire. For crying out loud, this is our son you kept away from me. What was running through your mind to not even tell me? He's almost nine!" I blink a few tears away. "You know in a heartbeat I would have helped you. So don't give me some lame excuse why you didn't tell me. Why didn't you tell me?"
He wouldn't believe me
I close my eyes and sigh.
"Claire, the truth."
"I did try to visit you," I say remembering the time.
"When? I haven't seen you since I left your dorm room when we broke up."
"I tried to visit you." I open my eyes and he is confused. "I was there with Peter in New York." The time of Riley's birthday. It was Riley's tour when I went to see him. Peter was a few months old. I was nineteen at the time.
"Tried? What do you mean tried? If you were having trouble getting back stage, I don't think any of my guards would have told you weren't allowed." I look down slightly afraid. I shake my head to the thought of backing away.
"I was scared."
"You we're scared?!" He snaps again and I flinch. I notice the guys and Riley looking our way. I bite my lip trying to stop myself from quivering. He most definitely is not in the greatest mood at the moment. I can understand why.
"I'm really sorry Shawn."
"Sorry is not going to cut it! You kept this from me for so long! I can't believe you kept a huge secret like that! Going behind Riley's back, keeping him away from family and especially me! This is probably one of the stupidest mistakes you have ever made!"
I look down guilty as I sniffle. For someone who never wanted to see me again makes it seem quite unbelievable.
Riley Dallas' pov
"You were scared?!" I hear my brother snap loudly and I immediately turn to see him looking angry and upset. Claire says something I can't quite hear as she hugs herself. "Sorry is not going to cut it! You kept this from me for so long! I can't believe you kept a huge secret like that! Going behind Riley's back, keeping him away from family and especially me! This is probably one of the stupidest mistakes you have ever made!"
Going behind my back? Is Peter who I think he is? I stand slightly worried as Shawn stands and I can tell Claire is afraid at the moment. I start to make my way towards the stairs.
"Ri-" Jack says, but I ignore him and make my way over to them. I thought I've seen Shawn at his worst, but this has just topped that.
"This is so irresponsible of you!"
"Shawn, stop," I say lightly as I approach them. I notice my brother is in tears and afraid as he looks at me before looking back at Claire.
"Why don't you tell my sister what you've been hiding," Shawn says angrily. Claire looks up and she looks so scared. My heart swells. I've been through a lot of pain myself lately.
"Ri, I'm really sorry I've never told you sooner," Claire cries looking stressed. One of my best friends is hurting and it upsets me, because she probably has a valid reason. I know my brother and Claire dated for two or three years. It was a really long time ago before I even knew my brother.
"Claire, it's okay. I'm not going to be mad whatever is going on." I think to my relationship with Cameron at the moment. It's clearly not going so well.
"I-I have a son a-and he's your nephew."
"Peter?" I ask quietly having the feeling already that this is where everything is going.
"Yes." She nods and hugs herself. I can relate in a way though. I thought Shawn would be a little more understanding. I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her giving her a reassuring hug.
"Hey," I say gently ignoring my brother at the moment. "I'm so happy you've told me. I feel honored to be Peter's aunt. This makes me really happy and it's a wonderful surprise." I pull away giving her a small smile. Sure, I am slightly mad and hurt she doesn't trust me, but I also get why she wouldn't tell me either. She needs support in this. She sniffles and tries to smile and nod.
"Y-you're not mad?"
"Yes, but Claire, I can relate to what you're going through. I lost my first child and had no idea how to tell Cameron or even Shawn in that matter," I say softly.
"I'm sorry for your loss," she says lightly. She looks past me slightly and I turn to Shawn, who looks still angry.
~
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