"Are you sure you want to do this?" Emercyn asks me as I zip the last bit of my stuff. I nod my head standing up and shrugging.
"I think we just need some time apart. I love Grayson and you and practically the whole world knows that. Right now, I just need to get back to New Jersey, do some school, and just be clear of him to think. He needs it as well and obviously this all has put a damper into his mood and the fans have pointed it out in the videos. I can't be the reason why he isn't putting his whole self out there." I explain to her, putting on my black converse that I haven't worn in what feels like forever.
"I think you leaving is going to take even a bigger tole on him. It's been a week H, are you still upset?" She asks. I give her a look as if we hadn't gone over this last night.
"Yes. We aren't broken up, I just can't deal
with any of this. Julia is still in LA and I can't do this again right now." I repeat myself from what I had told her last night. She nods her head and opens her arms out wide for me.
"I just don't want you to leave." She pouts as I hug her. I nod my head and sigh as we squeeze each other.
"You guys will be back in New Jersey in a week. You'll both live." I joke as we walk towards the bedroom door. She rolls her eyes and playfully shoves me and I practically fall into Grayson.
I apologize awkwardly and stand up, shooting her a look. She shrugs and walks over to Ethan. I look up at Grayson who was already looking at me and he gives me the smallest and weakest smile I have ever seen on him.
"Can we talk in my room real quick?" He asks. I nod my head and follow him into his room. He shuts the door behind me and I turn to look at him.
He looks at me for a second and neither of us say a word. It was silent and you would think it would feel awkward, but it felt right. Grayson's bags under his eyes were identical to mine. I know neither of us have gotten sleep the past week and thats why this is bad for us.
"Please don't go." He whispers, looking down at his feet. "I'm so sorry for lying to you and going behind your back. You're right, it was wrong and terrible. I let her control me again and I can't let her think that was okay. She- she's a terrible person and I shouldn't have let her have that much control over me when she is nothing to me. I just couldn't put everyones privacy at risk. I need you Hayden. You make me a better me and I need to be able to hold you, kiss you, and love you. Please baby, don't go." He frowns as he walks closer to me, cupping my face between his hands. He forces me to look at him and that's when I notice he is hurting.
We both are and all this happened because of Julia. It's crazy how someone can walk into your life and have complete control over you and not because they have a meaning in life,
but because they are horribly evil.
I grab his wrists and slowly take his hands away from my face. He looked taken back and upset at this action. When his arms are back at his side, I wipe his tears away from his face as I feel my begin to fall.
"I think a week away from each other will be good for us. Give us some time to think with out knowing the other is a room away. This is hurting us, we need some time away." I explain to him. He licks his lips and shakes his head at
me.
"You leaving is obviously hurting the both of us too. Here we are, both in tears because we can't bare to be away from each other. Admit it, Hayden. You know it's true so why leave? Let me love you and prove to you it was all a mistake. Let me prove to you she means nothing and that you are my everything. I haven't slept in a week, I'm drained." He sits on his bed and lets out a sigh. I could tell he was getting frustrated over the situation.
He was right, I can't bare to be away from him. But I've done a little bit of thinking and I think I need some me time for a little. I can't properly think about the situation knowing he is less than ten feet away at times.
"It's not that easy, Grayson. I need to be able to think. You can prove to me she means nothing but that wont stop her from trying to ruin us. I promise she wont but for now, I need to leave. I can't be in LA right now. I can't think properly knowing you are in the same apartment as me." I walk over to him and lift his face up to mine. He looked so upset and his expression I'm sure matched mine.
"I love you so much Grayson. I'll see you in a week." I whisper pulling away. He stops me and turns me toward him.
"Kiss me, just one last time before you go." He request or more like demands. I nod my head in response and press my lips softly onto his.
It was slow but sweet as our lips molder together. I'd missed this but I knew it was only going to make this harder on the both of us. I could taste the salt from his tears as they had previously slid down his face.
I pull away and wrap my arms around his neck, burying my face into the crook of it. His familiar sent of after shave and mint filled my nose and now I didn't want to let go. He rocks us for a second before I pull away knowing I've got to go if I want to catch my flight.
"I love you." I tell him, looking him in the eyes.
"I love you too." He whispers. I kiss him one last time before walking out of his bedroom and telling Ethan I was ready so he could drive to the airport.
-
The cold New Jersey air hit me as soon as I stepped off the airplane. I hurried through the airport and grabbed my things to meet my Aunt at the pick up spot. When I see her,
she brings me into a hug and tells me she loves me.
"I have a surprise for you." She tells me. I give her a look and stifle a laugh.
"Really? Ugh come one you know I hate surprises." I dramatically pout as we go to the car.
On the way to the house she makes jokes about the surprise and drops little hints. I must be really stupid because I'm clueless and now she is making fun on me for not getting it already.
She ends up asking about Em and how the boys were. She knew something was wrong with me and Grayson, but told me I didn't have to talk about it.
When we get to the house she makes me wait outside for a second. I pouted a bit because as soon as we pulled up to the house, snow was beginning to fall. She comes back to the front door an motions for me to come in. I do just as she had said.
When I walk in, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. I look at her waiting for her to tell me but she just shrugged her shoulders. I give her a weird look. What is this woman up too?
"Aunt Macy, what is going on?" I ask, turning toward her. She just smiles. I notice her look at something behind me making me slowly turn around again.
I turn around and suddenly I am in shock but at the same time, so excited. I run into my sisters arms and she squeezes me so tightly. I couldn't keep myself from smiling.
She isn't alone either. Her boyfriend Hayden is here along with my cousin, Clay. I let go of Riley and hug Hayden before Clay. I haven't seen Clay in such a long time. Longer than the amount of time I had gone with out Emercyn.
"Clay look at you!" I gush as I step away so admire him. Clay is one of my favorite cousins outside of Emercyn. He dramatically poses and I laugh as he twirls for me. I clap my hands an he brings me into another hug.
"No girl, look at you." He says. "And I hear you have yourself a fine ass boyfriend, I'm jealous." He pouts. Clay likes boys so we usually bond over cute celebrities or just cute boys we see on the streets. It wont be happening now though that I am with Grayson.. GRAYSON.
"Thanks Clay! Hey can we catch up in just a second? I need to call Em and tell her I made it home safe." I smile at him. He nods his head.
"Tell that bitch I love her and miss her beautiful self." He tells me
"Will do." I run up to my room and shut the door behind me. I dial Emercyns number and she picks up after three rings.
"Hey!"
"Hey, I made it home. You'll never believe who is here." I start. She dramatically gasps.
"Who?"
"CLAY! Well and my sister and Riley." I tell her.
"Clays there with out me!" I can hear the whining in her voice. Let's just say Clay is like our favorite person ever. "Will he be there when I get back in town?" She asks.
"I don't know. But will you let Grayson know I made it home?" I ask.
"I'm not with him. Give him a call." I say okay and we exchange good byes and I love you's
before I call Grayson.
He didn't pick up and it went straight to voice mail. I'm a bit bummed if I'm being honest but decide to leave a message.
"Hey, Gray. Just wanted to let you know I am home safely. Miss and love you so much. See you in a week."