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Y/N's POV
I know I have completely lost my mind now by asking Harry to stay with me for the night, but I can't do it anymore. I can't pretend like I don't need him because I do. Today has been longer than expected, no surprise there though. Harry's lips are just so intoxicating and entrancing. They're so full and soft, aching for them since this morning. The way he adds just the right amount of pressure on my hips with his fingers is making me make unusual noises, ones that I had no idea I could ever do. Very desirable thoughts seem to overtake my clouds, which should not be happening. Where the hell is my sanity? This is completely contradicting all that I have said.
This in general should not be happening. Here I am being the one who's assaulting his lips in such a feverish way, like I can not get enough of it. Liam's still in the building and he so caught us doing this, it'd break him. He would never forgive me. And though I should feel guilty about it, in way there is no guilt being felt. Not now at least. I'm not in a relationship with Liam, so it is not exactly cheating on him, though still, it doesn't justify this. None of this. Not me not trying hard enough to refrain from wanting to kiss Harry every 10 seconds and actually kissing him, and especially not me asking him to sleep with me, even without sex involved... I hope.
It may have been Harry's words that swooned me over or just the simple fact that kissing him has become one of my very favorite things since today... Well ever since we kissed in my room, don't think that counts anymore though. Some would say it's probably because I've been lonely and haven't had a real relationship in so long. But now, anything romantically involved with another male before Harry doesn't even seem real. I hate myself for not being able to stop loving Harry, I don't have the will power and frankly, I can't. I love him so much yet I am so mad, so upset about all facts recently discovered about him.
I can try to convince myself all I want, but being angry and upset over him choosing Kendall over me and Sofia's tragic story, it doesn't seem like that's enough to despise him. How fucked up is that? Harry isn't perfect, but I'm scared of getting hurt. He's done plenty of that on his own. I do believe Harry and I are not meant to be, life decided to put it that way.
"Why do you do this to me?" He whispers against my lips, blowing hot air into my semi parted mouth. We both pant trying to grasp air. It seems as if everything surrounding us just doesn't matter anymore. All that matters is this precise moment. "What are you doing to me Y/N?" He says in a low, raspy and husky voice. It's so damn sexy.
"I could ask you the same thing Harry," I answer back, attempting at controlling my heavy breathing. I know he's looking at me, but I can't seem to match my gaze to his. Like this is some guilty pleasure, which is. This is all one big sin, wrong and wrong written all over it.
His large hands now rest on both sides of my neck, holding me in place.
He notices my uncertainty, tucking hair behind my ear,
"Do you not want me to stay with you anymore?" Disappointment clear in his tone. I want nothing more than to have his arms around me, holding me. Protecting me from nightmares that I'm sure are to come from these past days' events. I'm dreading seeing Marcus' face in my dreams, touching me like just another one of his catches. Those memories, disgusting fucking memories will always be latched onto my brain.
"No, stay. Please don't go," I plea. The desperation is blatantly obvious. I should be kicking him out and yelling at him to stay the hell away from me, but no, because I am selfish and a hypocrite.
His hands then travel down to my exposed arms, making small circles on my skin that make those bumps rise. And there is that damned effect. We sit in silence for a few seconds before he whispers, "okay". I'm sure he must think this insane too, all of this. To anyone outside of our situation would say we are ridiculous and flat out problematic, but to someone going through what we are, they'd understand 100%. He brings his licks his lips, reconnecting them to mine. Yep, definitely one of my favorite things.
"Do you know how hard it is going to be for me to not fuck you, make love to you like I want to on this small bed? I'm fucking morbid but fuck do I want you so bad. I want to get lost in you, in us.." I nearly choke on my cough. His sudden confession makes the heat creep up to my cheeks, flushing a deep crimson by now I'm sure.
His somewhat dirty words are such a turn on. It is evident that we have built some weird sexual tension between us since this morning, because apparently we both have some weird desires. Jesus am I mental!
There's no denying that I have been thinking the same thing all day, but I do not want to give him the gratitude of knowing that. Hell no. Quickly wanting to change the subject, jumbled mess of thoughts in my head swim around, trying to find something to come up with. "Harry, um... Uh, Liam's still out there somewhere. I at least want to say goodnight to him." I say merely above a whisper. My requesting for Harry to stay doesn't mean he's forgiven, because of all people who deserve anything is Liam.
Liam of all people deserve a chance but this isn't exactly giving him a chance. Okay, just tonight. Harry will stay with me for tonight and after that we are done. I know how hopeful Liam is, who am I to crush that? Heck no I won't. Harry nods, like if in need of his damn permission.
"I'll go get him," he whispers while still holding me. He stands from his chair, pushing it back and bending down to hold my head up to meet his eyes. "I love you, thank you for asking me to stay with you tonight," not knowing how to respond, I stay silent. He pecks my lips before opening the door and closing it behind him. This is insanity.
We are so fucked up. Here I am trying, well in the slightest bit to be honest, to stay mad at Harry but every time I feel his presence around me, he ends up swooning me and we end up kissing. Not just kissing, kissing like we're two in love souls. I would not even know if calling this is a form of love. What if it's just a need? A crave? Thinking about it, I don't think it is. I love Harry, but Harry loving me is still a subject that I can't bring myself to believe.
..
Harry's POV
Walking away from her room, already that pull between is wanting me to back in there. My task is to find Liam so Y/N can tell him goodnight and to go home so we can cuddle up on the bed. Knowing her, of course there won't be any mentioning of this. I know she didn't want to ask me to stay and she's fighting with herself over it, I bet. She needs me though, I need her.
Her talk about destiny not wanting us to be together is utter bullshit, if we weren't none of this would be happening. Both of us wouldn't have to fucking suffer because of our actions. Well mostly my actions, the majority is my fault. For Christ's sake she's in a hospital because of what I did to a man's sister who went off the deep end and kidnapped her.
Passing by a few doors, I smile at the small gasp and shocked look on her features after I told her how bad I wanted her. I wasn't kidding though, I want her so bad. She didn't deny it either. She's so sexy and beautiful besides the real reasons I love her. Any man would fall for her luscious curves, those toned, full legs that could make a man be at her feet in seconds. She doesn't know it, but I am putty in her hands, even Liam is too.
It only takes me a few grazing moments before I find him leaning over a counter, phone in hand. We may be fighting for the same girl, and yes I do plan on taking every chance I get to finally be with her, but that doesn't mean I don't feel for him. He's shown that he loves her, it's more than evident. But she loves me, she only loves him as the good friend he is to her.
Slowly approaching him, he turns up with a quizzical look on his face. "Is she free now?" He asks slightly annoyed. Ignoring his tone and avoiding an eye roll, I simply nod. Not wanting to give anything away that we kissed again. And that more of it is to come. He starts walking but halts turning to face me. He opens his mouth to speak,
"Harry, I know you love and care for Y/N. Mate, I know you do. But it's just getting to a point where all the times she has cried is because of you. You know you being around her is slowly breaking her even more than she already is. Why do you hurt her?" He's halfway out of breath when he's finishes his rant. That was unexpected. He must've been thinking about that for a while. With each second that passes, his stare is still fuming, glaring daggers at me.
Without thinking about it twice, I answer his question, "because Liam, when you love someone, even though you have fucked up so many times, giving up is the last thing to do. Fixing what needs repairing is not to be left alone, even if that broken object has something trying to pick up what is left behind," my last words referring to him. His mouth presses into a hard line, brows furrowing together. He shortly laughs almost jokingly before turning his heel and walking away.
He knows damn well I'm right, he would never admit it. He's just as stubborn and hot headed as I am.
...
About 10 long ass minutes, he finally exits her room. It was supposed to be a simple goodnight. Maybe things were said between them. Either way, he thinks I've left by now. Wrong.
He closes her door while I hide as if I'm a god damn child playing hide and seek. Sure feels like it is. Hiding behind a wall, I wait till he's fully out of the building before retrieving back to her room. Checking that the coast is clear, I march down as fast as I can back to her room. I'm so damn giddy right now it's not a joke.
Finally reaching her door, I push it open to find her staring at the window. The light is dimmed but the moon's light is enough to reflect on her face. It's breathtakingly amazing at how beautiful she is even in the slightest bit of dark. She doesn't notice my presence at the door until I softly knock on the door to get her attention. She sits up, glistening eyes boring into mine.
Fear sets in thinking Y/N's gonna kick me out for something Liam told her, but that soon fades when she gives me a small smile, the first smile she has given me all day. My heart flutters like a kid in school who's girl crush just admitted she likes him too. I return her warm smile, making my way to sit on the chair next to her bed. Her eyes follow me, follow my every move before breaking the silence in the almost dark room.
"I thought you left or something," she says to me, eyes not meeting mine when I sit.
"Why would I? You're here, there's nowhere else I'd rather be," I whisper, taking her small hands in my rather large ones. She finally looks up, as if she's searching my face for answers.
With trembling hands, she places one on my cheek, her thumb massaging my skin. Her tender touches are perfect, so fucking perfect. "I don't get it Harry, hours ago I didn't want to see your face and now... Look at this," she motions to her small actions. "I'm still so confused and dazed over everything. None of it makes sense. Not to me at least." She sighs, dropping her hand to her sides.
"That's the thing, it's not supposed to make sense. What is clear, though, is that what we feel for each other is undeniable. When we kiss, no one else exists but you and I. You're responsive, you don't hold back from what you truly feel," I say placing my hands on her head. She tips her head to the side, thinking deeply about god knows what.
"Harry, what are we? We are adults here acting like adolescents, sneaking around and doing things we are not supposed to be doing. Do you think this is fair to Liam? For me to do this to someone who does care about me and for you to do this to one of your best friends?" Her voice is shaky and hoarse. Please no more tears, no more.
"I am fully aware of that Y/N, but we belong to no one. And you sure as hell don't belong to Liam at all," I remind her. He thinks he has some control over her. 'Or maybe that's just you, Harry' my subconscious taps his foot.
"And I don't belong to you either, so stop acting like you have some sort of control over me," duly noted. I run a hand through my hair, breathing heavily. She lets out a small yawn, covering her mouth.
Not wanting to argue, noticing that she's tired and it has been an extremely long day. I just found her this morning, that same almost lifeless body on that warehouse floor is now in front of me. It still hasn't kicked in but it will eventually. "Tired?" I ask her. She nods slowly.
"Sleep then," I urge softly.
"You're not staying?" She's quick to react.
"I am, I just want you to lay first." As she nods and lays as I told her, I remove my shoes and socks. I don't have anything else to remove. I'm left in my black jeans and white shirt. Making sure she has enough space for herself, I slowly climb in next to her. My heart is pounding so fast. The last time we slept on a bed was the night of her birthday party. The night I realized just how much it pissed me off seeing her kiss another guy.
She was so drunk that night. That was the day Y/N confessed she loved me but I thought she was joking due to her state. Two months later, here we are again but under completely different circumstances.
I hear her mumble something, I can't make out what it was. Brining the covers up to us, she tenses as my fingers brush her spine. Goosebumps form on her arms. I can't help but smirk seeing that little things like that affect her. My touches, not Liam's, not anyone else's.
Lying completely still, she suddenly turns to face me. Our faces only inches away from each other.
No words, just silence. And it's not an awkward silence either, a comforting one at that. "Is this was our lives are going to be from now on?" She asks quietly, almost too quietly. Her tired eyes look like they might shut any moment. "How is it that just hours ago I was still kidnapped and now here we are."
"Do you really want to talk about it right now?" It's not that I mind, but there's plenty of other time to talk about these things. Right now we should be enjoying this. Being this close. There's no way I'm the only feeling the electricity right now having her only inches away from me. Her body heat radiating onto mine.
She begins, "well, no. Not right now at least."
I move hair out of her face, watching her features intently and close. "What do you want then Y/N? Tell me, and I will give it to you." She thinks about it for a few seconds, biting down on her lip. I want to bite that damn lip.
"What I want?" She asks softly. Is she asking for affirmation or what she really wants? I nod, motioning her to continue. Her eyes land on my lips before she responds, "I want you, Harry. As insane as it sounds, I want you, right now." Holy shit, she wants me. I knew it, I fucking knew it. My heart rate increases the moment the words slipped from her lips. "Kiss me," she pleads. In one swift move, I press my lips onto hers, tasting every part of her mouth. Her hands snake up to my hair, tugging them hard to get a response from me.
"Y/N, what do you want?" I ask her again, wanting to hear her say it over and over again.
"You, I want you. Please Harry, don't make me beg," she pants. She screws her eyes shut while I leave feather like kisses around her jawline, lips, neck, nose.
"What do you want me to do?" I tease her, getting her riled up. She becomes frustrated, pulling harder at my hair making me groan loudly.
Her breathing increases, my eyes noticing her chest heaving up and down even in the dark room. "Touch me, make me yours. I want to be yours." The words going into my ears like fucking Christmas music. Her words aren't even dirty, but fuck do they sound sexy coming from her. She traces my lips with her fingers, grazing them before whispering, "you are maddening Harry Styles." I smile widely, bringing my face close to hers again,
"I love you," I whisper back. Hungrily kissing her again. Nothing else matters right now. Not Liam, not the kidnapping, not the fame, not Kendall, not Sofia, not Andrew, not Marcus, fucking no one but us in this very moment. And I am more than ready to feel her, to become one with her on this hospital bed. Damned if we caught, damned if we don't. I want her, and she wants me.
She whimpers against the assault of my lips, keeping her legs closed tightly. I have to refrain from doing the most ungodly things to her, because this should me romantic. I plan on treating her like the princess she is. My hands make their way to the back of her hospital robe, fingers fiddling with the knot holding the dress in place. Slowly untying it, my lips graze her jaw, neck, leaving wet marks along their trail.
She moans lowly as I bite and suck, knowing that a mark is going to be left behind. My mark! Her shaky hands lift the hem of my shirt slightly, touching my torso, nails scratching at my abdomen. Millions of thoughts are going through my head. But above them all, I'm fearing she's going to regret this or that she's going to ask me to stop. Her shoulder becomes exposed as the dress droops down, licking and kissing it. She's writhing above me and I am going mad. The apparent tightening in my pants is clear as her hands and nails continue to rake up and down my stomach.
"Do you want this?" I ask for reassurance. I don't want her to feel obligated like she has to.
She holds up a finger up to my lips, bright eyes under the dim lighting, glowing. "Shhh, don't talk. I want this Harry, I want you." And that is enough for me to continue. This is going to be an interesting night, if not, the best fucking day of my life. I have been waiting for this for so long, just as much as she has. I want her, this. Tonight, we'll get lost in each other. Over and over again. Not caring about anyone or anything but this, simply this..