"You love this," I explain. Reese has been told by the doctors and nurses to listen to what I say and tell her, and they've told me to show her and tell her things about herself.
"I do?" She nods. "Ok," her eyebrows furrow as she looks at the blank canvas.
"You love painting," I explain.
"I can't draw though," they say she can't remember much about her life except her family and the bullying.
"Yes you can. You're very good at it." I smile and she nods.
"Do I have to draw right now?" She questions.
"No," I shake my head and lead her to our bedroom. "Come here," I lay myself on the bed. She slowly makes her way towards me and stands next to me. "Lay down?" I smile at her and she shrugs remembering what the doctors said.
"What are you doing?" I pull her against me.
"We're cuddling," I sigh. "You love doing this with me," I bring her head against my chest. I decided to cuddle her trying to calm her shot nerves and fix her nervousness. She doesn't seem to like the idea of being around me for such a long time and everything I've taught her just confuses her.
"Why are we doing this?" She furrows her eyebrows. "Not that you're bad," she rushes quickly after.
"You don't have to," I open my arms.
"It's ok," she yawns. "I'm sorry I don't remember you," she pouts on my shoulder. "I'm trying but I," I stop her and shrug.
"It's ok, I know," I sigh hugging her. "I still love you," I whisper as she drifts to sleep. Holding her against me I open my laptop looking at our wedding video.
"I Reese Cameron Matthews would like to take you Shawn Peter Raul Mendes with me through the rest of my life. Through every rough day and every beautiful moment through everything be it thick or thin. I promise I will never stop loving you, even when we argue, even when disagree, even if I'm mad at you for whatever reason, I will still and always will love you. You bring me my smile, you gave me my child and you showed me love something I will always be thankful for." I let tears fill my eyes.
"I love you," I whisper. "And even if you can't remember I know you love me too," I nod. "I hope at least," I slide behind her and let her lay on top of me as I continue on with the video.
"You found your tux," she giggled only to tease me during our first dance.
"You got the perfect dress," I had smiled.
"I got the perfect husband,"
"You're gonna make me cry, I've cried more than you already,"
"Liar! I cried on the way to the venue and even a little last night." I sniff at the video and close it going to watch the slideshow of all of our wedding pictures.
"You looked stunning in that dress," I whisper. "Everything about that day was perfect, it was magical." I speak as if she could hear me. "All of the planning was a mess but it turned out alright." I kiss her forehead.
"Shawn?" Ian knocks gently. "Has anything happened with her yet?"
"No, she doesn't remember anything about anything at all." I sigh.
"She's trying, at least?" He nods at me. "She doesn't like hurting you," he sighs again. She was able to remember Ian and her family along with Chrissy but I am still a blur in her memory. So is Adam who Nathan is babysitting as I try to fix her.
"I know," I look down. "Everything she used to love makes no sense to her anymore," I run my fingers gently though her hair.
"You mean like you?" He leans against the doorframe.
"Everything I've said to her all day has been like in some sort of different language in her mind." I sigh. "I just want her back," I cuddle her some more.
"I know you do," he looks down.
"I don't think she likes me very much," I swallow. "Every time I've said something to her sat next to her," I shake my head. "She seems to hate me, but she's still so polite and gentile and nice with me." I brush my fingers through her hair.
"Because she doesn't like being rude," he shakes his head.
"That's why she spends so much time with me," I look down. "She doesn't like me," I sniff.
"I'll leave you alone for a bit," he closes the door and walks out. Rubbing my head against hers I softly begin singing.
"Stay here and lay here, right in my arms," I whisper gently. "It's only a moment before you're gone, and I, am keeping you warm," I pause letting a tear roll down my cheek. "Just act like you love me so I can go on,"
"Wow princess you look amazing?" I wipe my eyes at the old video.
"And you look gorgeous," she smiled. I just shut the laptop unable to continue watching.
"You're always gorgeous," I try not to squeeze her too hard while I hug her moving her from my chest to my side so I could spoon her as I begin feeling more tired. "I can't sleep," I yawn. "Because if you wake up you'll leave me." I swallow hard nod gently kiss her neck. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I knew I drove you away." I sigh.
"Shawn?" Chrissy walks up. "Andrew's here he wants to talk to you," she gives me an unsure look.
"Tell him I can't talk, and if it had anything to do with a tour that I won't leave until Reese remembers Adam and me." I nod at her.
"Is that everything?" She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.
"Yes," I chuckle and she begins walking away. "Wait Chrissy?" I giggle calling her back. "I'm also gonna need," she rolls her eyes and laughs at me. "I'm just kidding." I wink and turn my attention back to Reese, my face dropping completely. "Promise to hold you close and be there everyday," I sniff and kiss her forehead. "I swear I love you more no matter what you say," I brush my fingers through her hair. "I'll try my best for you," She shifts a little and her eyes open as she looks back at me.
"Shawn?"