Shawns POV
I wish I could be normal.
Even if "normal is not a thing".
It really is.
The people who have enough money and play sports. The people who have tons of friends or are really smart. The people with the fine family. All of these things. Are the normal things.
Instead I am the one who tries to hide. The one who the second they leave the house, they already regret it. The one who doesn't smile and laugh. Instead of the diamond in the ruff. Everyone is the diamond. And I am the ruff.
I sat in my room, my hands on my head. Tears soaked my face.
What am I doing?
I was panicking.
I needed to stop.
But I couldn't. My breaths were short. And none of them were more than just gasps for air.
I grabbed my phone.
"Hello?" I heard her light voice ask. "What's up babe?"
Your POV
"Y/N. I am s-so sorry," He choked.
I sat up from my laying position on my bed.
"Wait. Shawn is there something wrong?" I asked. Nerves climbed up my spine. I started to feel anxious. I knew something was wrong. I also knew I needed to move. He was not okay at all. I grabbed my coat quietly, trying not to freak him out more.
"Y/N I didn't mean to."
"Shawn mean what? Here love I will be over in a few minutes okay. Stay on the phone with me the whole time okay? I love you. Breathe slowly Shaw-"
"No no, I am okay."
"I love you, Shawn. But that is a complete lie. I will be there in just a couple minutes okay and we can talk about whatever is wrong o-"
He hung up the phone.
"No. Oh my gosh." I dropped my phone and sprinted to the door. My mom jumped up.
"Sweetie where are you going?"
"It's Shawn. I have to go!" I hurried, grabbing my shoes.
"What is wrong?"
"I don't know he is in trouble!" I yelled. My eyes started welling as I got really scared.
"Slow down honey. Let's talk," My mom insisted.
"I am sorry, I have to go!" I ran out the door and to my car. I tried to open my door, my whole body shuddering.
I shouldn't be freaking out. But I am anyways.
Because I love him.
Because the person I was dating was always happy. Never sad. And when he was sad it was never extreme. And if even ever was I would be the first person he would tell.
And that is what happened.
There is this thing.
Basically, I have heard many times that breakdowns are not just crying. That they happen when someone has been staying strong for long.
I love him.
And I was terrified about anything happening to him.
I know he is home alone both of his parents work.
I was driving well over the speed limit.
But there no limit for the person I needed to get to.
Shawn POV
I felt so bad for calling her. I shouldn't have dragged her into my problems. Why would I do such a thing?
Just call her and freak her out like that.
I shouldn't even be freaking out. But I am anyways.
Because I love him.
"Shawn?" I heard the door open. My eyes widened. I quickly got off my bed. I looked at the dumb mirror that was on my closet door. My face was wet. I tried to wipe my cheeks as fast as I could. I kept my eyes wide and blink many times, trying to stop myself.
I am so stupid.
"Shawn?" I heard her voice again as she ran up my stairs. I wish I was dead at the moment.
Your POV
When I ran to his door. It was open. I looked inside and stood frozen. He looked at me with his eyes almost black. Like they were a void.
"Shawn," I said almost speechless. He was speechless.
"Y/N I am so sorry I didn't want to freak you out I just-" I ran over to him, cutting him off with a hug.
"I love you. You can tell me anything okay? I am right here," I sniffed. Trying not to cry myself. The whole car ride I couldn't stop thinking of the worse case scenarios. Now it was just that I knew he was safe. That is when he started to sob. I braced myself. Trying to not let it get to me. "Here let's sit down," I said softly and moved him onto his bed. He just cried. I just hugged him. I waited for him to tell me what was wrong. But I was patient about it. I knew it would be a while, and I was fine with that. He was okay with me.
We sat there for so long.
And when he finally pulled away, his breaths weren't jagged. His hair was a mess and his eyes were completely bloodshot.
When I hear someone say they still beautiful even if they are in the worst conditions, I didn't believe them.
Now I did. Because he was still breathtaking.
"He left."
I stared at him. Thinking about which friend he was talking about.
"Who?"
"My dad."
"Wait what?" I exclaimed. Then bit my lip after I noticed I raises my voice. That's when he started to cry again. And I felt my heart crack. I clenched my jaw.
"When I came home today. There was a letter. Talking about how he would miss me. And when I went to look for him all of his stuff was gone. He just left. Didn't even bother to tell me an actual goodbye. Just some cowardly note," Shawn whispered.
That is when I noticed something.
Yells mean a lot. And show angry.
But a whisper. Can sometimes have a lot more emotion in it. Hatred.
I looked up with soft eyes at him.
"I am so sorry Shawn," I was at lost for words. His parents were perfectly fine just the day before when I came over for dinner. They were all okay. Or as I thought.
"I am sorry for freaking you out." That was all he said.
"I don't care. I will always be here for you. And I will be through all of this okay?" I told his hand. He laughed a little.
"I just raged. I didn't know what was going on. Everything was blurry. I wanted to do what he did. Just go away forever."
"And that's okay. We all have bad days. Really bad days. Where we don't feel like we can live till the next morning. But we can. Just trust yourself," I said smiling.
"Okay Dr. Phil thanks for the session," He rolled his eyes, brushing his cheeks with his long sleeve. I grinned then kissed his cheek.
"Right now I don't have a mustache and a bald head. But I will work on it."
"Please never do."
"I didn't plan to."
He frowned.
"How will I tell mom?" He asked quietly.
"We will tell her. And it will be hard. But I will be right by your side. And she will cry. And so will you. But it be okay. It will."
He sighed.
"You will have to deal with my depressed self for a while."
"I'm fine with that. More jokes I can make."
"Thanks. Really," He said looking at me seriously.
I stopped smiling. But I still showed my happiness through our locked eye contact.
"Anytime and everytime."
A/N
Ha somewhat happy ending y'all. I'm on a roll right. Hoping you liked this one. Hope it wasn't boring or anything. It wasn't right? Okay anyways school = no. I am already counting down the days till it ends. I was already stressed out all summer the universe can't give me a break but to cut it to the chase I hope you enjoyed and I will be back soon! (a/n in an a/n. Have a good day or night)