A/N so i just wanted to tease thay Im currently 11 chapters into the ellie spin off and loving it. My little Helper had read it all and is just ad exited. Its going to be fun watching what ellie gets up to.
** monday June 9th 2036**
-taylors pov-
We arrive at the cancer center for a chemo infusion and kenzie curls up in the recliner after the nurse accesses her port. She is in a bad mood today, didn't sleep much and says she feels yucky, so this is going to be an interesting day.
"hi there, miss kenzie, I'm here to take some blood, take your vitals and then start the chemo for the day. They also want to give you some fluids" Kenzie's favorite nurse, nurse Fallon, says and still a little grumpy she sits up to give her access to her iv. "i am bored. I hate hospitals" kenzie groans and pouts.
"Are we in a bad mood today kenzie, would a cancer pop maybe help on that?" nurse Fallon suggests and kenzie agrees to that. "I think we should skip the chemo today" she argues but we tell her that its important and that this is the second to last week of the regular chemo. Then it's the conditioning chemo for the bone marrow transplant.
"I think I actually don't need the bone marrow transplant, I'm all better now" she says, and I shake my head "No you need it. Your body needs all the help it can get, it's a long road still baby girl. But we are taking it one step at a time. And do you remember what we will do when you're done with the chemo?"
Her eyes light up for a second "yes you're having a huge concert in a stadium with lots of your artist friends to raise money for research for childhood cancer. They need research money because so little of the money raised for cancer research goes to children, which is stupid because we are kids so that means we are going to live longer anyway. Adults are old, we are kids" she says. She isn't wrong, it's stupid that childhood cancer research doesn't get enough money because the majority goes to adults. It's sad because adults obviously need research too, but children are the future of the world.
"I think that's wonderful" nurse Fallon says as she finishes hocking kenzie up to her infusions. "Are you going to help pick the songs then?" she asks and kenzie proudly nods. I've asked several of the kids in the cancer ward for their opinions.
"Nurse Fallon, maybe I actually don't have cancer. Doctor's make mistakes all the time, I'm sure they make mistakes about kids having cancer too?" she argues. "well, you're right, sometimes it's hard to diagnose cancers because there are so many of them and so many variables, but with yours there are no question. You have stage four which means that they have figured out that you have the... essentially the worst of the kind you have, which in tales that they have done a lot of testing to make sure that tis correct. So you do have cancer. But we have good treatments and are trying to get you all better again" she tells kenzie and squeeze her hand.
She goes to get kenzie a cancer pop which she is happy about. "This makes coming here worth it, these are really good" she concludes as she sucks on it.
-ellies pov-
Once again, I'm going to the prosecutor's office to give a statement about something, this time the shooting. They are taking statements from all the children there, but only those of us that was shot is going to testify, I think. I don't want to testify, but I guess it's fine, I've done it several times so I'm not that nervous about it. Sadly I'm used to it.
We walk into the reception when Rebecca and her mom comes walking towards us, she has tearstains on her cheeks and bloodshot eyes. "Can I hug you?" I say softly when she gets closer, and she nods softly. I don't waste any time with wrapping my arms around her and I can feel that she is tense at first but then relaxes.
"i'm sorry Ellie. This is all my fault" she says with a hoarse voice, probably from crying, "you have nothing to be sorry for because this wasn't your fault. You didn't do this, he did" I remind her again.
We pull away from the hug and look at one another. "This is my dad" I introduce them, and she introduce me to her mom too, her adoptive mother. I didn't even know she was adopted before this, but I also know that blood doesn't make someone family so this is her mom, not the person that gave birth to her.
"Could we maybe.... forget it" she starts but stop herself. "What?" I ask her with a smile. "Would you ever want to hang out sometime?" she asks with a faint blush. "That would be nice, want to come over to my house? We can arrange a time through text?"
She seems surprised by my suggestion but take me up on my offer, so we exchange phone numbers before I'm called into the prosecutor's office for my deposition.
"Nice to see you again miss Elliana" the prosecutor says, the same one that has handled the trials my family have been through before frank Gardner. "hi. Nice to see you too. Happy you're the one on this case so at least its someone I know" I say with a weak smile.
It's a relief that it's at least the same prosecutor because this is hard enough already, and I like that its someone that I know at least. He was the prosecutor on the case when I was six years old too so it's nice that its him again, it makes me feel a bit safer at least.
"You know how we work sadly, but I know how you like to just get it over with when you have to do this. How about you just tell me what you remember?" he says, and I nod, I want to get done with this as quickly as I can so I can leave. I like Mr. Gardner, but I hate being here.
TRIGGER WARNING – MENTIONING OF THINGS REGARDING THE SHOOTING – NEW CAPITAL LETERS WHEN ITS OVER
He presses play on the recording device and I start talking. "I was sitting with my boyfriend in the cafeteria talking and working on school stuff. Then people started to scream in the hallway, and we heard the first shoots" I say and take my dad's hand. He squeezes it three times which I know means that he loves me.
"I froze, but my boyfriend dragged me through the hallways. Some kind students opened up a classroom for us" I say and my voice cracks as I see it flash before my eyes. It's been weeks but it feels like it was yesterday. I can hear the sounds of children screaming, shoots firing, banging on doors and children crying.
"When you walk into the room there is a corner if you turn right and go straight, that's where I was curled up with my boyfriend. I was shaking and crying, I thought that this was when I was going to die" I say and dry my tears with my free hand. This is nerve-wracking to talk about, I don't want to remember any of this. "The shooter came into the room. He was maybe 18 or 19 I think by what it looked like then, but my eyes were also really blurry from all the crying. Then he started to shoot"
I take deep breaths before I explain that first he killed the girl at the other side of the room, I knew she was dead right away because of where he shot her. A few others got shoot too. "Then... he pointed the gun at us. Alex got shot first, in the shoulder and I started to panic, there was so much blood. And then I got shot in my leg. The pain... it didn't come right away, there was so much adrenaline in me that it took a minute or something before I felt the pain. Then I was screaming, it hurt so bad. I passed out before Alex and then I remember waking up in the hospital"
END OF TRIGGER WARNING
The hot tears are streaming down my face by the time I finish, thankfully it didn't take long but it still makes me sick to talk about. It feels like the world have it out for me or something, one cruel thing after another keeps happening to me. Just as I get my feet on the ground and start to heal there is another thing thrown at me.
"How has it been afterwards Elliana, how is the recovery?" he asks, and I tell him that I had to have surgery because the bullet severed my tibial nerve. Had to use a cane for a month and still attend physical therapy several times a week. I'm also still taking pain killers because I get these intense pain flares. "The pain is still pretty bad. They said it was normal for the early stages, but now the pain isn't as normal anymore. So... yeah there is that" I say and shrug.
The pain is still pretty bad and its anoying that it's still there. Originally, they said it wouldn't linger around this long, but it's still there. We don't know if this is just how it's going to be for me now or if it's still temporary, and I hate not knowing.
We leave the office and head to the car "are you okay Elliana?" my dad asks, and I sigh and shake my head. "no" it's exhausting to think about what happened, it's exhausting to remember it and its exhausting to talk about it.
Just as we planned, he drops me off at Alexs house, he is home alone while his parents are working, but I wanted too not be home right now. So as I approach the door, he opens immediately, and I sink into his arms. Now I can't stop the tears and he kiss my head a few more times before leading me into the house. "it's okay baby, you're here now. Its over" he mumbles, and we head up to his room.
I'm not saying anything, but I lay down with my head against his chest and intertwining our legs on his bed. He keeps running circles with his hand on my back with one hand while using the other one to keep me as close as possible.
It takes a while but eventually I say something "sorry. I'm being selfish, you're probably stressed about tomorrow" I mumble, and he tightens his arms around me "nonsense. You're not selfish. I don't mind comforting you, and then I'm coming to your house tomorrow after my trip to the prosecutor's office. You would do the same for me so of course I'm doing it for you" he says, and I lean up to kiss him softly.
"thank you I love you" I say and snuggle my head back into his chest "I love you too Elliana"
-taylors pov-
TRIGGER WARNING – VOMIT
We get home after the chemo infusion and pick Ellie up on the way home from Alexs house. Kenzie is not feeling good, so I help her to the couch and tears stream down her face on the way there and she starts throwing up on the floor.
Her silent cries turn into sobbing and trying to breath, but she keeps throwing up and then she throws up her feeding tube to the part that's in her stomach sticks out of her mouth, which causes her to panic.
"it's okay kenzie, I'm going to take it out, try to breath" I say and take the tape off her face and drag it out of her nose just in time for her to throw up again.
Joe comes running and see the floor full of puke and the feeding tube in my hand. But we don't care about the mess. I move kenzie when she is done throwing up, so she doesn't step in the puke. She is sobbing and burrow her head in my chest which makes me covered in puke as she is covered in puke down her shirt. "it's okay kenzie, it's okay. Take your time and then we will go up to the shower" I tell her and kiss the top of her head.
She clings to me "Mommy make it stop, please. I feel so ill. Please make it stop" she screams and I'm trying not to cry myself either.
When she has started to calm down a bit, I leave joe to deal with the vomit and I take her upstairs because we both need a shower now. I turn on her shower as she sits down on the counter. "i'll be back in a second with clothes" I tell her.
I grab clothes from her closet for her and clothes from my closet for me because I stink of puke right now. Then I come back to her "do you want to go first, or do you want mommy to go first" I ask her, and she tells me that I need to go first because she is tired.
I don't mind my children seeing me naked, I really don't care, so I strip down and step into the shower leaving my dirty clothes on the floor. I quickly wash myself before getting out and getting dressed again.
Then I gently help her remove her clothes because she is really tired. When she is naked, I help her sit down on the shower chair we have for her shower because sometimes she is way too tired to stand. "Mommy I don't feel good" she whimpers. "I know you don't feel good baby girl, I'm so sorry. We are going to get you clean and then we can cuddle" I tell her.
After getting her clean and dressed I carry her to her bed, and she whines for me to cuddle her, so I happily do that.
Eventually she falls asleep, and I sneak out of her room to go put our puke covered clothes in the wash. Joe has already cleaned up the vomit on the floor. "How is she?" he asks, and I sigh "exhausted. The chemo made her feel really sick today. I'll let her sleep for a bit, but before we go to bed, I need to put in another feeding tube because she can't go that long without nutrition" I say.
END OF VOMIT TRIGGER WARNING
When she got the feeding tube, we got taught how to put in new one if hers fell out or something. It's been a smart decision because this isn't the first time this has happened. This way we don't need to head to the ER every time it falls out.
Then tears start to slide down my face and joe closes the door to the laundry room so we can get some privacy. He wraps me in his arms, and I cry into his chest "love, what's wrong" he mumbles but I take my time to respond. "i'm exhausted" I say and my voice cracks. "it's one thing after another"
He rubs circles on my back under my shirt and my head is resting on his chest. "I know you're tired my love. But you're doing amazing, I'm so proud of you. You're there for all the girls and I... I'm in awe of you. We are in this together but you're showing how much of a force of nature you are my love" he says and kiss the top of my head.
"you're the best husband ever" I say and lean up to kiss him. "And I couldn't ask for a better wife"
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