-taylors Pov-
"Elliana, what do you have to say for yourself. A hickey?" he yells, and Ellie jumps slightly from how loud he is being.
"it's no big deal dad" she mumbles. "No big deal? Hickey is a gateway to sex Elliana. Did you have sex last night?" he continues to yell.
I can see this is escalating in record time and I'm nervous. They don't really fight, so this is not good. "Joe, calm down. It's just a hickey and it was covered up" I tell him and stand up too.
"Did you have sex last night?" he asks her again and she shakes her head "No, I didn't. We just kissed dad I promise" she says and her lip trembles.
"How can I trust that. You have a hickey on your neck Elliana" he continues to go off on her and I feel really bad. "Joe, stop. So what she has a hickey. She is 15 and has a boyfriend. That doesn't mean she had sex"
"so you're okay with this Taylor? I guess someone had to show her how to cover it up. How could you do that and not tell me. If she feels like she is old enough to have a hickey she should come clean about it too. This is not okay" he says, and Ellie is full on crying now.
"Dad I'm not a little girl anymore" she whimpers, and he rolls his eyes "you're still a child, and children shouldn't have hickeys" he yells at her again.
"Joseph, stop this. You're not being fair on her" I tell him, and Ellie run off to her room sobbing and joe sits down on the couch with his head in his hands. "what's up with you today?" I ask sternly. I'm really upset with him because Ellie had a good day and now, he has blown up because of a silly little hickey. "She is too young for that. I'm sure they had sex last night, I'm absolutely sure"
"well, I'm going to go console our sobbing daugther and you think about that" I say and walk off to find Ellie.
-ellies pov-
I'm laying down on my bed sobbing and clutching my pillow. I had such a good day yesterday and sleeping next to Alex was really nice, but here my dad goes and ruins everything. When he was kissing my neck it felt like he was leaving a golden imprint on my skin. He made me feel beautiful and wanted, but now dad messed with that. Now I feel weird and violated by my dad's nosy behavior. I was so happy and had covered it up so he wouldn't freak out, but he had to inspect my neck and now I'm feeling blue.
There is a knock on my door "Ellie honey, its mom, can I come in?" she asks and in between sobs I say she can, and she comes over and sit on my bed. "i'm sorry about your dad overreacting sweetie. I'm going to talk to him" she tells me and brush away my tears.
"I felt so good this morning mom. I felt loved I felt cared for, and I was happy. I haven't been this happy in a long time, but dad messed that up. Now my head is dark, and I feel suffocated. and I feel embarrassed, and I felt like I had my privacy violated. I'm entitled to some privacy" I sob out and sit up but still clutching my pillow.
My mom pulls me into her arms, and I cry into her chest "he made me feel beautiful and special, I just want to have that feeling last mom. Don't I deserve that? Don't I deserve happiness and love?"
"of course you do sweetie, you deserve love just like anyone else. I'm going to talk to your dad because this isn't the way to handle this. You're of course allowed to fall in love and get all these special feelings that both your dad and I got once upon a time." she says softly, and we stay and talk for a bit more before she leaves to go talk to my dad and I call Alex on facetime.
Thankfully he picks up quickly and is first smiling but then he furrows his eyebrows "baby what's wrong?" he says gently, and I sob "dad he is so anoying" my breath hitches "he... he inspected my neck... and then... then he saw the mark and got really mad" it's hard to get words with how much I'm crying, and tears are streaming down my face.
"Oh baby. Now I feel bad, I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have done that, but you seemed like you enjoyed it" he says, and I wipe away my tears "I loved it, it felt so good. But my dad is so anoying he has to ruin anything that is good. I love that he is home again but then he goes and do something like this. I'm so mad"
-joes pov-
I'm laying in our bed looking up at the roof as my head is pounding. I probably shouldn't have yelled so loudly because it hurt my head, but I was so mad and I'm still really mad. She is my little girl, and I don't want to think about anyone touching her like that.
Taylor comes into the room and cross her arms "what the hell joe, she had such a good day and now she is sobbing her eyes out" she says sternly "my head hurts"
She comes over with some painkillers "well your head hurting is your fault. You shouldn't have screamed at her" she sits down on the bed. "She is my little girl Taylor. And with everything she has gone through I don't want anyone to pressure her into doing something she isn't ready for" I argue.
"Joe, you didn't even listen to her. She didn't feel pressured, she said it made her feel good and special. Don't take this joy away from her. She is exploring and figuring out what she likes" she says, and I cross my arms too.
I don't want her to explore her sexuality because I don't think I will ever be ready for that. "She isn't exploring anything because I'm not letting her. I'm keeping her in her room, and she is breaking up with her boyfriend" I say, and I know I sound unreasonable when I say it out loud but what I'm really scared off is her getting hurt. What if he ends up breaking her little heart and she goes back to a dark place again.
"Joseph stop. You're being a dick right now. She never does anything scandalous. She is a good girl and has earned our trust. You need to let her figure things out and yeah maybe she gets her heart broken but if you keep going like this, she isn't going to come to your arms when or if it happens. I'm not saying we should be encouraging her to push her limits but be here to support her when she is discovering something new and something with her body that feels nice. I don't want her to have sex either joe, in my eyes she is too young, but we can't force her to not figure out what she likes in other ways" she says more calmly this time.
She sits down against the headboard and sigh "don't you remember what it was like when we woke up that first morning after confessing that we wanted a relationship? Yeah, we had sex which is different than what happened here last night with them, but I remember feeling like you left sparkles against my skin. I felt special. Don't take this away from her, she is figuring out what she likes and in my eyes that's wonderful. But you need to talk to her, and you need to really listen to what she is telling you. It might not be what you want to hear but those are her feelings are they are valid" she says and intertwine our fingers.
I smile remembering that first morning.
** flashback **
My eyes flutter open and I realize that I'm in bed with Taylor and last night's confessions come back to me, and I can't keep the smile from my face. So I pull her by her waist closer to me and snuggle my head in his neck.
She giggles indicating that she woke up too and turn around to face me and I shower her face in kisses. "Good morning beautiful" I say and tuck her hair behind her ear. "Good morning boyfriend" she says and run her arm up my arm and wrap it around my neck and pull me down onto her. "Yes girlfriend" I say against her neck and she can't stop laughing.
Eventually we get out of bed, and she gasps when she looks in the mirror at her naked body "holly shit joe, you are a vampire. You marked me everywhere" she groans and pull on some underwear and I laugh. "How could I not when you're so beautiful. I want to kiss all over your body. Especially that one place that makes you moan" I say with a smirk and pull on a pair of boxers.
She comes back into the bedroom and push me down on bed and straddle my waist "You silly silly London boy. You can mark me wherever you want but stay away from my neck because God forbid someone got a picture of me and it would be all over the headlines" she says and kiss me softly.
"Then where can I mark you then" I smirk at her and she playfully run her hands up and down my chest letting her nails dig in. "where no one can see them, only you"
** end of flashback **
"Well that morning you asked me to let the love bites remain on your boobs because then only I could see them, so that point isn't exactly helping Taylor" I say and run my hand up her stomach and caress her breasts but she swaps my hand away. "You know what I meant joe. She feels good and we need to support that"
I snuggle my head into her chest, and she plays with my hair "go and talk to her joe. Let her explain"
Eventually after spending some time snuggling and talking, I decide to head to Ellies room, and I can hear through the door that she is talking on the phone with someone. So I knock on the door "Ellie, its dad, can I come in" I say gently, and she stops talking and probably hangs up "come in" she says.
I sit down on her bed and can't help but look at her neck where the mark is no longer covered, and we just stare at one another. Looking at her I see how grown up she is getting while I also see the infant that was placed into my arm after she was born. "Are you going to say anything or just stare at my neck" she says softly and play with her fingers.
"Ellie I'm sorry for the way I reacted. But I just don't want you to get hurt or pressured into something that you're not ready for" I tell her, and she sighs. "Who said I wasn't ready dad. I wasn't pressured into anything, I felt special" she says and has a gentle smile on her lips and a soft blush on her cheeks.
"Making out and hickeys are the step before sex and having sex too early can be emotionally straining" I tell her, and her eyes widen "who said anything about sex. I'm not having sex dad. Just because I might make out with my boyfriend doesn't mean I'm going to have sex anytime soon. I'm not ready for that and we aren't even talking about that. If you would have asked me, I would have told you, but you jump to conclusions and act weird" she says and lean back against her headboard and wipe away a tear that has fallen and now I feel even worse.
I never want to make my children cry. Maybe I overreacted and should have talked more calmly. But I just don't want her to go too fast and do something she can't take back "sometimes I forget that you're 15 years old and think you're that little girl we brought home from the hospital or that little girl that went through so much pain. I just don't want you to be taken advantage of" I tell her.
"Dad I'm not being taken advantage of. I wanted it, if I didn't, I would have pushed him away. Please let me figure out what I want. I'm in no rush with anything, I just want to keep feeling good for the first time in years. There have been a lot of hard things happening to me over the years and I finally feel something else than the pain all day every day. I have a lot of crap I need to deal with and process still, but this is a good thing in my life, and I want to keep that. Please dad, let me" she says and keep wiping away her tears.
Of course I want her to be happy. After everything that has happened to her it's even more important in my eyes because she lost so much of her childhood experiences to what happened. When you go through something like what she did you lose parts of your innocence and that she can never get back.
"Please just don't move too fast. You got all the time in the world and there is no need to rush anything like that. If he is a good guy, he will understand that and wait, preferably until you're older. I just don't want you to... do that and then you can't take it back later" I say.
"i'm in no rush and he doesn't pressure me into anything. And for the record I don't want to have sex because I'm not ready and I don't know when I will be ready. Maybe In a few weeks, maybe in a few months, maybe in a few years, maybe when I'm 30 or maybe never. I don't know and I don't feel like I need to know that yet. I'm happy dad, I love him" she says and I can't help but smile at the last part.
She loves him, that's adorable. "Does he love you too" I say and can't keep a grin off my face when she blushes "yes, he does. And that's enough for me right now. I'm in no rush to do that thing. Please trust me. If this was aurora, I get that you would be worried, but you don't need to get all daddy bear with me. Remember that we are different" she says and chuckle.
She has a point there because aurora having a boyfriend would be a different story. She is such a different person from Ellie and I guess I should meet her where she is on this.
"I guess that part of me thinks that I just met this guy yesterday and then this happens this morning. But I guess that you have actually been together for a month, but I just haven't seen you two together. I'm sure the start was slower than you making out with him on your bed" I say, and she blushes again. "i love that you're protective dad, and if he ever broke you heart you can tell him off. But please let me experience all of this for myself. And so what we made out, that doesn't mean it will go further than that"
She goes on and tells me how he makes her feel like the most beautiful girl in the world and how he holds her close when she is crying and defends her at school against the bullies. The more she tells me the better this guy sounds like and maybe I should give her some breathing room to figure things out. What I don't want to happen is that I've been pushing her and then if something bad happens she doesn't feel like she can come to me and tell me what's wrong. I don't want my good relationship with her to be ruined just because of a boy. Even if I stood my ground and made her breakup with him, she would find ways to go around our back, that's what teenagers do when they're in love. I would rather have an open dialogue with her and make sure she knows she can come to me. She might prefer talking with Taylor as she was once a teenage girl, but I want her to know that it's okay to come to me too.
"so you're not mad anymore" she mumbles "I wasn't really mad in that way when I think about it. I was more scared that something was happening to you against your will because that's my biggest fear when I know that you're hanging out with a boy. But of course I want you to be happy, we just need to make sure we keep an open dialogue about all of this. I know you might prefer to talk to your mom about boys, but just know that I'm here too sweetie"
She crawls over and I wrap her in my arms as she leans her head on my chest. I don't want her to grow up, I want to hold her in my arms and protect her form anything hard in life, but I know that she is going out in the world and figuring out who she is.
Taylor comes into the room and her expression is pale as she loosely holds her phone in her hand, but it looks like she is hardly holding on. Something has happened.
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