-taylors Pov-
"Tomorrow the three of us need to go to the prosecutor's office because they want to talk to us about making a statement to the parole board about how Adam shouldn't get parole" I tell her honestly. There isn't a way to sugarcoat this so I'm just saying it and waiting for her reaction nervously.
"that's so stupid. Who in their right mind would think that letting him out would be a good idea" she says and her voice cracks. I slide my chair over to her and wrap her in my arms. "I know that this is horrible. We are going to do what we can to keep him locked up"
She is crying softly because this Is clearly scary for her too. With how scared I am I can't imagine how scared she is. "And I'm going to call your therapist tomorrow so you can get an appointment with her soon too if you want"
Going to therapy is still something she still does every other week because even though she has come a long way she is still struggling. "yeah, maybe you should" she says and shrugs and wipe away her tears.
"Do I have to see him?" she asks and look away "I don't know Ellie. We are getting more information tomorrow"
She isn't interested in talking more so she goes upstairs to take a shower. Eventually all three of them are in bed and joe suggests that we take a bath together.
The water fills the tub and I strip down naked before sitting in-between his legs and leaning my head back against his chest as he holds his arms around me. "I love doing this with you" he says and kiss my cheek. "Me too, I needed this today. I just can't get my mind off everything. And my whole body is tense and anxious"
He starts to kiss my neck and I sigh and let my eyes flutter closed. "Do you want me to get your body more relaxed?" he asks me, and I nod. "That would be nice, I'm sorry I'm not up for full sex, it's been a long day" I say.
"I don't need sex Taylor, it's been a hard day. But I know that usually a little orgasm helps you relax more" he says against my neck.
MATURE CONTENT
He takes his big hands and start to massage my breasts and giving my nipples attention which makes blood flow to my core and I'm getting really horny. Soft moans leave my mouth and I throw my head back against his chest.
One of us hands travel down my body and gently make circles on my clit which feels really good. I can already feel my body relaxing more. "Does that feel good? Just tell me If you want more pressure or faster" he says and kiss my neck again.
"It feels so good. A little harder please" I say in-between moans. My eyes stay closed, and I let myself really sink into his chest. He knows how to use his fingers to give me the kind of pleasure that really helps my body relax more.
My breath turns to panting and my face is getting flushed as I make my way up to the orgasm that I really need. "Do you want to cum for me Taylor. Let your body release those sweet juices. I would taste them, but we are in the water" he says against my neck and make soft kisses wherever he can reach.
With a slightly louder moan I clench and release my orgasm and feel my body relax after I've ridden it out.
END OF MATURE CONTENT
"god thank you. That was much needed" I say and turn my head to gently kiss him once before sinking back into his arms. "i'm sorry I'm not able to give you an orgasm too tonight" I say and feel bad.
"don't feel bad about that Taylor. I don't need one, if I did, I could give myself a hand job. Tonight, is about getting you relaxed because you had a hard day" he says and kiss my neck.
Eventually I can feel myself drift off to sleep in the warm water wrapped in his arms.
-joes pov-
Taylor falls asleep against me after she gets her orgasm which will make it a bit harder to get her out of the tub but at least she is getting some sleep.
How things were earlier today really scared me and I'm happy she seems more relaxed now. I am worried about Ellie though, she didn't show much emotion or thoughts earlier and I'm worried she is bottling it all up inside her, which is never a good thing.
When the water gets colder, I gently wake her "Taylor love, we need to get out now" I tell her, and she groans. I help her out of the tub and dry her off and blow-dry her hair as she hates going to bed with wet hair.
After getting myself dry too I pick her up and carry her to the closet and get some panties on her and one of my big shirts. She is half asleep and not really able to do much on her own, but I'm happy to help.
I carry her to bed and tuck her in before I get myself ready to. She is quickly pulled back to sleep and will hopefully sleep through the night. It's been a long and emotional day and I hope she gets some good rest.
** the next morning **
-ellies pov-
We drop my sisters off at school and head to the prosecutor's office. I don't want to do this today; I would even rather be at school than do this. Just that there is even a possibility that this man gets out of prison makes me want to throw up.
He did horrible things that will follow me for the rest of my life, but he gets the chance to get out of prison now? Where is the justice in that? That's why I want to be a prosecutor not a defense attorney, I want people to have a right to a fair trial, but I couldn't defend people that do such horrible things. Everyone has the right to a defense and have a fair trial, but with everything that happened to me and mom I just can't see myself trying to keep someone like him from taking responsibility for his actions.
I really want to turn to bad coping mechanisms, it's so hard to not do it now. It's the way I dealt with all of this to begin with and now that things are up in the air again, I struggle to hold on. But I know now that those coping mechanisms won't actually help me. They will do more harm than good and isn't a good way to handle it. I need to talk about it and make healthy choices, that's how you make it through something like this. Turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms will only lead to more problems and I know that now.
We get to the office and is showing into a room where I sit between my parents, our lawyer is next to mom and then there are several people from the prosecutor's office.
"so as you have been informed of Mr. wiles is applying for parole, and according to state law and his sentence he is allowed to do so now. We are petitioning to have him kept in prison because we think he Is still a danger to society and your family in particular. But to give our case more strength we would benefit from a statement from Mrs. Alwyn and miss Elliana" the prosecutor frank Gardner says. He was the prosecutor on the case nine years ago and is now the district attorney.
"What do we need to say" I ask them. "We aren't allowed to tell you exactly what to say. But we would recommend stating what it was like being in his captivity, what has happened after and how he doesn't show remorse. That's only some point though and you are free to say what you want. It's not like a trial where you are asked questions by both sides, here you make a statement and the panel take that into consideration along with everything else"
Then my mom asks if we need to be in the same room as him and in this case, we need to be that. They are having it at a dedicated room in the prison because that's how this state does these hearings. It's a room that looks a bit like a small courtroom aperently.
The fact that we will have to go to a prison is terrifying, I don't want to ever step a foot inside one ever. And the fact that after nine years I will be in the same room as him again is terrifying. It's a nightmare come true.
"When is this taking place?" my mom asks "November 7th because that's the first opening they had. They are fairly busy so that's the first available slot" Mr. Gardner says.
Taking this all in is hard. In a little over two months, we will be face to face with Adam again and I never thought that would happen again. The last thing I said at the trial was that I never wanted to see him again, but now I have to swallow my fear and face him, so he stays in prison.
My parents and the prosecutor talk more details, but I can't really pay attention. My head is spinning and going a million directions. All I can think is that he can get out and come back to hurt us.
"What happens if he gets out?" I finally ask and my mom wraps an arm around my shoulders. There is a long pause before the prosecutor says anything "then we will apply for a restraining order. And since you were a child, we will petition for him to not be allowed near placed where children commonly are. And he will have to register as a sex offender. If it comes to that there are ways to protect you. And we can also apply for a gag order so he can't talk about you or the events to the media, that's something that's possible with the nature of your jobs and his former job. Being a celebrity is a tricky situation with all this"
At least there are some stuff we can do if he gets out, but I have no idea how I can ever feel safe knowing that he is out of prison. "But with a restraining order, he can still get to us. What if he gets to us and take us before you can do anything"
Mr. Gardner sighs "that's one of the things we are going to argue for in terms of not releasing him at all. In our eyes there is a high danger of re-offense because of his obsession with your mother. By the looks of reports from the prison he is still obsessed with her and that will be a big argument from our side"
The fact that he is still obsessed with my mom sends shivers all over my body. I don't understand how a person gets to the point where they can do something like that to another human being. There must be something mentally wrong with him to make him think doing something like that is okay. The fact that someone can be so twisted they think it's okay to kidnap two people Is hard for me to grasp my head around.
We get out of the prosecutor's office and my parents suggests that we go get Starbucks and go to our favorite park to get some fresh air after this. What I really want to do is slip underneath the covers off my bed and hide, but I know that it's not a good strategy in the long run.
I get a decaf iced latte; my mom gets an iced mocha, and my dad gets an iced tea before we head to the park.
It's the same park we have been coming to all my life, it's so quiet here and hardly any people. It's nice to get away from the city and just feel the open air and see greenery all around us. Now it's early fall so the colors of the trees are changing which I find beautiful. Just like my mom I love fall a lot, I just love the colors of the leaves and the taste of cinnamon and pumpkin.
We start to walk, and I look around "remember how when the trial was over and the verdict was in, how we went here and went on a walk all three of us. I remember thinking that this would be over forever, but now it's back" I say, and my dad rubs my back as we walk with his free hand.
"I thought it would be over too Ellie. That day I felt closure, but now an old wound is opened again" she tells me and I apricate the honesty even though it's really sad that she is hurting so much too. I didn't sleep more than half an hour last night; I just couldn't make myself close my eyes without having a nightmare. A wound that was closed is being opened again and there is nothing we can really do to prevent it. That's the most frustrating part of it.
I sigh "the most frustrating thing is that we were the people that this happened to, but he gets special treatment and the ability to come out again. He was in the wrong but still gets this chance to come out again. What about us. Shouldn't we have a bigger say in this. We are the victims" I mumble but I know they heard me because I can hear my mom taking a deep breath.
"that's something that makes me upset too. Sometimes the justice systems work against the best interests of the victims and that makes me angry. Mostly for you though, because I want you to feel safe" my mom says and wrap an arm around my shoulders as we walk.
"Mom I'm scared" I tell her and sniffle. They hear me sniffle, so we sit down on a bench nearby and they both have an arm around me as I'm tucked between them. "i'm scared too, I think we all are. But no matter what happens Elliana we are facing this together. We are going to do what we can for him to stay right where he is, but if he isn't we will fight to have as much protection as possible. Your dad and I will always fight for you safety"
-taylors pov-
To hear that Ellie is truly scared too is hard, because I know how scared I am too. The justice system is confusing at times because you would think that it would be a no brainer to keep him locked up for the rest of his life, but that's not how it works. They have rules and procedures they have to follow and sometimes that doesn't come in the victim's favor.
I wish I could promise her that this will work in our favor and that they will conclude that he doesn't get parole, but that's something I can't promise her and that hurts a lot. All you want to do as a parent is protect your child, but her I feel like my hands are tied and there are so strict limits to what I can do. What I can do is make the statement I need to make and just pray that the panel see the danger he still poses to us and the rest of society.
"Your therapist said that you get an appointment tomorrow morning so one of us will drive you there before school and then take you to school afterwards" I tell her and kiss her forhead. First thing this morning I called her therapists office and made an appointment. She changed therapists from the therapist at the eating disorder center to the therapist she had years ago after the kidnapping anna Vanderbilt. That was a joint decision between them because she is a specialist in trauma which is the underlying struggle Ellie has and that caused her eating disorder and self-harm behaviors. Anna also deals with eating disorders, so she keeps an eye on that too and help when Ellie gets flare-ups. Ellie also goes to the doctor once a month to be weight and then take blood tests to make sure she is okay.
"that's fine" she says and shrugs.
After a bit we leave to eat lunch before we need to pick up the other two from school. We were at the prosecutor's office for a few hours, and we have just enough time now to eat before we get them. Food is still an important thing to keep an eye on Ellie with still. She follows a loose meal plan with three meals and three snacks a day plus an extra snack for every dance class she takes so she doesn't end up losing weight, but we don't count the calories strictly for her anymore. The point of the meal plan is to have gentle guidelines so that she gets enough but that its flexible enough to work over time and not something super strict. Everyone eats less some days and more others and that's fine for her too as long as she doesn't drastically lose weight again.
**
We drop Ellie off at dance, I get dropped off at home and joe takes the younger two to gymnastics. I have some housework to do at home, but I also need some quiet time for myself to think about everything that the prosecutor said today.
The fact of the matter is that we could potentially be in danger again and that's hard to wrap my mind around. I wish that I could trust that everything is going to work out, but we don't know that for sure and that bugs me.
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