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Squirming in my seat, I waited for the teacher to appear in the class, with the bundle of papers.
The cursed answer sheets.
The day was today, the most horrifying Saturday that I was experiencing.
My heart was about to jump out of my chest anytime. I was taking deep breaths, slumping my body back into the chair.
I know I didn't do good this time.
Last time was a coincidence, but this time I'm sure I did the worst.
Maybe it was the intense pressure in my mind, pushing negative and dreadful thoughts into my brain. Or was it just the utmost fear of judgement from others.
Perhaps both.
The class was in a hustle, students were shouting their lungs out in the back. Girls were chatting around me and boys were pushing each other over the seats, like some wild animals.
I hated school and I hate college too.
Everyone is so noisy.
The clicking of heels were suddenly heard in the corridor and everyone jumped back to their respective seat, unlike me who was already glued to the chair since the first period.
Ms. Choi entered the class, suddenly the whole surrounding shushed. It made me more horrified.
No one wished her and she looked around for a moment, eyeing the students in the front row who just stayed silent. Some even rolled their eyes at her.
It's college, what do you expect?
"Alright class, since no one wished me a good morning today, seems like you all already know that the start of the morning isn't going to be good."
With that, she took out the rolled up bundle of sheets from her bag. I sucked in a sharp breath, placing my hand on my chest.
Breathe. It's okay.
What's the worse to happen, I'll be humiliated in front of everyone or just get sent to the principal's office this time.
I was prepared for it, but at the same time... I wasn't.
"I'm giving away the answer sheets back now, I'll call the names and it's my request, please stand up and walk over to here. I'm not in the condition to walk to every seat and hand your sheet to you." She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighs could be heard everywhere.
Then she started calling out names.
With every name, the rush of adrenaline seemed to pump faster and faster in me. I was breathing both through my nostrils and mouth, licking my lips which were as dry as the Sahara desert.
"Kim Hana."
Oh my God.
I stood up, my legs feeling like jelly. I didn't notice that my lower lip was cautiously trembling.
I'm dead, aren't I?
Unlike every time, the class was silent when my name got called. I took this as a challenge, walking through the row of seats and facing the teacher, without looking into her eyes.
She didn't say my marks out loud. Handing me my sheet which was upside down, she took a glance at my face. I looked at her hands instead, clutching the sheet from the other side.
"Work harder." She whispered as she reached out and patted my shoulder, suddenly making me flinch.
I nodded and went back to my seat, no one saying a single word or mumbling anything about me.
I placed my butt on the chair, closing my eyes and inhaling a sharp breathe.
Then I unfolded the paper.
......55%.......
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*Jungkook's POV*
89.5%.
Damn.
The results were in front of my eyes. It wasn't a bad score, but considering the other hardworkers in my class, seemed like I wasn't the topper this time.
"Yah, Jungkook. How much you got?" My classmate, Kim Jun Hong asked from the other seat.
"I... didn't do well... I guess." I muttered, "who got the highest?"
"The highest this time are..." He looked at the list in his hands, "woah, 95%. Min Jaesuk tried his best. Also, the second one is 92.4%, Kim Mira. Seems like you're third this time."
His words made me internally shiver.
Third position.
Doesn't sound great.
"Yah, did you zone out?" He asked, snapping his fingers in front of me.
It's not good.
I didn't study well this time.
"Nothing. I might not be able to attend on Monday. Send me the notes." I told him, stuffing the answer sheet in my bag's last pocket.
I clenched my fists together, taking shallow breathes.
I have messed up.
The second semester mattered. More to them than me. I couldn't get enough sleep, but I tried my best nonetheless.
And what I got? 89%? Not enough.
Never enough.
I gave up on sleep. Gave up on suppers. Studied day and night but couldn't concentrate enough to grab the first position. One week wasn't enough. And it's not even a proper excuse.
A part of me wanted to disappear. Because I knew what was to come.
They won't understand.
Taehyung won't understand either.
No one would understand.
I pushed my bag away, standing up from my desk. The tightness in my throat was overwhelming. A sudden urge to vomit was there.
The washroom wasn't very far and we had 20 minutes left for the next class.
Perfect.
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*Hana's POV*
"Fifty five?"
I nodded, taking off my shoes. Since there was no point in exaggerating, I simply told my mom. Something inside me was yelling at me, screaming that I don't deserve anything, because I couldn't even score upto their expectations.
But again, when my mom stood up and grabbed my wrist, I was in absolute stupor.
"I'll try harder next time-"
"I'm proud of you."
Eh?
"Mom, I got 55. They're lesser than the previous time." I frowned, lowering my head.
"The last time you got 62, I was raged. Because the last time, I was blind behind those comparative markings. I can't believe I used to compare you to that girl, who can't even score 20% on her own." Her voice was laced with guilt, "I know you are trying your best beside your health issues. And this time, I didn't even had any expectations but you still got 55% with your intelligence. That means you can do better, right?"
I blinked, taking in her words.
"Y-Yeah...but I'm still ashamed that I couldn't score upto your expectations. My goal this time was 70, atleast."
"I know, let's not talk about that now. Prepare well for your finals and achieve your goals. You will get better by time." Her smile made my stomach strangely growl, and I blushed.
"Oh, are you hungry?"
"Mhm, kind of." I said, hiding my embarassment.
"Yah, what's there to be ashamed about being hungry? I have cleaned your poop until you were 5! And you're being embarrassed about your tummy growling in front of your mom?"
"Mom!" I shouted, trying to press my smile.
"Go and wash up, I made sandwiches for you and Jia." She patted my back and it suddenly hit me.
...Jia...
"Mom, I need to talk about Jia." I said, feeling like I just got dumped with a bucket of cold water.
It completely slipped off my mind.
"No, I know what you mean. And no, it won't change."
"Mom! Please!" I pouted, trying to blackmail her with my aegyo.
"Stop with that dumpling face of yours. I'm the owner of this house and you get to obey my commands." She turned around and I sighed.
And then I stuck my tongue out at her back.
"I can see you."
Turning back and picking my bag up, I dashed to my room with the speed of light.
I'm doomed.
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The next day, there I sat on the couch whilst slipping on my sneakers. The denim jacket that I wore seemed to burn holes in my skin despite the coolness of the weather.
I had tied my hair up into a tight high ponytail, leaving some loose strands to fall from the sides of my forehead, so that I don't seem bald to the people around. They always assumed I had a boycut because my hair would stick so close to my scalp that they actually vanished for the people examining me from a distance.
"Ah, our Hana is looking so pretty today. Where is she going?" Aunt came out of the guest room and I gave her a soft smile.
"Uh I-"
"She's going to hangout with a friend." My mom interrupted even before I could reply, patting my back.
"Oh, that's nice. I haven't noticed her going out too much like the kids of her age."
"That's right. You know Jae, the boy who asked our Hana out for lunch is very handsome." My mom said, making me sigh and bury my face into my hands.
"Oh, so it's a boy?" Aunt raised a brow and I glared at my mom, making a disgustful face.
"He's very sincere. He's also the topper of his class. We met him a few days ago and such a respectful child he is," she looked at me, "unlike this brat who sticks her tongue out at her mother."
Aunt let out a chuckle, taking a seat beside me, she brushed her fingers on my lip, feeling the dryness.
"Your lips are so dry, you don't drink enough water, eh?"
"I do! They're just like that." I frowned, swiping my tongue over my bottom lip.
"I have a pink lipstick that'll make your lips look glossier. Wait." She said, darting back to her room and coming out with a pouch, full of cosmetics.
She took out a matte lipstick, tapping it gently over my dry lips. I closed my eyes, inhaling the sweet smell of it.
"There, now you look girly." She said and I glanced in the mirror, the complexity of my face turned out soft and smooth with her magical touch.
"Thank you aunt, this colour is pretty." I smiled, tapping my index finger on my bottom lip.
"Unnie, don't mind me but... sending Hana out with a boy alone doesn't sound great. Knowing Hana, she is very innocent for her age and-"
"Don't worry Jae, I have already planned everything. I know my daughter and I know Jungkook as well. But since we're not so close till now, I really can't trust any man with my daughter apart from her father." My mom told her and I listened with a bored look.
"So that's why you asked me to..." Aunt trailed off and she nodded.
Why are women so clever?
"Exactly. Hana, be back before 5. I'll be waiting." Mom said, handing me some money. I rolled my eyes and stuffed it into my back pocket, only to receive a slap on my shoulder.
"Why?" I whined.
"Act girly for once, will you? Take a bag with you. Girls don't stuff money like this in their pockets."
"What's wrong with it? My pockets are empty!"
"Take. Your. Bag. I won't repeat."
Ugh...
After finally stepping out of my apartment, I breathed heavily into the fresh breeze. The cross bag that I wore over my shoulder was weighing me off but I sighed, collecting myself together.
Let's get it.
A/N
Sorry for the delay! Here's a freshly baked chapter 🍞
So yeah, don't get me wrong for adding so much drama because I love drama and problems HAHAHA
Vote and comment 🌝
(Also, I'm planning on a double update so keep an eye out for it😃)