"Are you guys ready?" Karl asked Tommy and I.
We were in the car, on our way to school.. ugh.
"No." I groaned.
"Yes!!" Tommy shouted, I don't get what is so good about it.
"Wilbur it's gonna be fine. You have Tommy!" Karl smiled while making a turn into the school parking lot.
We got out of the car and he made us stand next to eachother, he pulled out a polaroid and took a picture.
"Ok you guys be careful! Love you!!" He hugged Tommy, I just backed away when he wanted to hug me.
"Byeee" I waved unenthusiastically.
"BYEE!!" Tommy screamed, catching up with me as we walked.
"We have different classes so I'll see you after school!!" Tommy grinned, running through the halls.. God no one has taught him any social cues.
I sighed, feeling as if everyone was staring at me when I walked to my class. The classes were all boring just as I remember. I don't get what's fun.
The rest of the day was shit, lunch had a highlight though. I just saw alone cause I didn't really want to try and speak to anyone, until I was forced.
"You're new?"
"Yeah..?" I looked up from the floor, it was a boy with dirty blonde hair.
"Im purpled."
"Cool?" I don't want to talk
"So rude!" He laughed, I just stared blankly at him.
"What do you need." I muttered, god he's like an annoying little bug buzzing around my ears.
"Nothing really, just wanted to maybe be friends.. get on your good side?" He gave a smug smile, interesting.
"Well you failed at that second one, but I guess we could be friends." I'm probably going to never talk to him again.
"God you're dense.. Well what's your name?" He rolled his eyes.
"Wilbur.." I raised an eyebrow. He shook my hand with a smile, I forced a smile back.
We talked until the end of lunch, Then I skipped my 5th period to smoke. The day was boring as a sum, I didn't care for it. At least I wasn't hurt though. Once school was over, Karl said he was out at the store so we had to walk.
Wilbur: meet me at the front
Tommy: ok
I was a little confused, he always types with an uppercase..? Maybe he had to type quickly or something. I shrugged it off for a little.
I made it to the front of the school, tapping my foot as I wait for Tommy to get out. I felt a presence behind me.
"Hi." Someone said, I turned around seeing Tommy. He looked upset.
"What happened?" I tilted my head.
"What?" He also tilted his head, just confused as I am.
"You look upset."
"I'm not?" He smiled like I was crazy, then dismissed himself and started walking.
"Hey- Are you sure?" I caught up with him.
"Yeah? What's the issue I had a blast?"
"Alright.." I huffed, he wasn't himself.
"Maybe you're projecting!" Tommy joked, I laughed.
"Oh come on. I thought it would be worse but it wasn't that bad. Just boring, I even made a friend!" I explained my day vaguely.
"Oh really? Who?"
"Psh. You sound surprised, the dudes name is Purpled, he's alright." He giggled as we walked.
It looked like he stopped for a second, completely pausing his whole process. "Oh." He replied under his breath, quickly excusing it. "Cool! I found out Ranboo goes to this school, so I mainly hung out with him." He rambled.
What's up with him, "Really?" I asked, genuinely surprised he went.
"mhm."
"Also why'd you say oh? Did he do something.?" Why am I bringing it up.??
"Nono he didn't do anything- I uh don't even know him.. I just felt a little jealous." He spat, weird.
"Dont be jealous! I'm sure you'll make more friends!" I smiled, ruffling his hair.
Eventually we made it home, Karl's car was still here? We got inside and Tommy instantly went to his room, I was curious to where Karl was.
I knocked on his bedroom door,
"Come in.." It sounded like he had just sobbed his eyes out, what happened?
"Are you alright?" I stepped in slowly, trying not to be loud incase he was sensitive as of now.
"N-no.. I keep thinking about Quackity. I miss hi-him.." Tears rolled down his cheeks, he was just sitting in bed, sobbing.
"Karl- It's.. It's alright I promise.. I know he's gone but he wouldn't want you mourning like this.." I suggested, starting to feel sad.
"mhh.. I guess you're right.. I dont really kn-know what to do now. I'm probably just gonna sleep." He sighed, letting his tears dry as he rolled over.
"Alright.. I'll leave, I hope you feel better." I smiled sadly, walking out and shutting the door silently.
I walked back to my room.
no no no no why is it still there
the blade is there
die
die
die
die
die
die
die
die
no no
die
die
die
you're a pussy if you dont do it now just die
they all want you to you dont help
dead weight
pussy
scaredy cat?
is that what you are.
you're weak if you dont
slit your wrist-
"No.. I can't.." I was snapped back into reality by tears rushing down my face, I hate this feeling.
I don't want to be here but I don't want to leave, there's so much going on. I hate it I'm not weak i'm not i'm not.. I don't want to be weak and I'm not but ugh.
I can't talk to Tommy, that's embarrassing.. He'll know I'm jealous of him. That's embarrassing. I can't talk to Karl and make everything about myself, I told him about my self harm and he didn't do shit.
Did he?
What did he even say..
What are all the awful things i've been told. I can't even remember why I'm sad at this point. So why do I feel so bad?
I want a painless death. Painless for everyone, but that's just a false reality I'll never get.
Everyday is a new problem.
Every single day is a new problem.
I suddenly remembered something. I walked to my backpack, unzipping a slot.
It's the polaroid of Tommy and I..
Our smiles look so genuine here. Why?
Mine isn't genuine.. It reminds me of when it was genuine. The park photos.
I walked over to my closet, pulling out a bag I had hidden. Inside revealed many many old and dusty photos. I really miss this. Tears dropped onto the floor as I stared at photos of me and Phil. We both had a smile on our faces, posing for the photo. God.. There's some of Techno..?
My hands got shaky, remembering how long it's been since I saw him. Where is he?? Where is Techno? Why haven't we bothered looking for him..
It's one of all of us smiling. Me and Tommy in the front, Techno and Phil in the back. Why can't I still be there.
what changed.