Jealous | Tommyinnit angst

By jubidoobi

484K 18.4K 32.2K

⚠️TRIGGER WARNINGS⚠️ -eating disorder -self harm -suicidal thoughts -suicide ________________________ ☁️... More

𝟷 ➪ Sorry
2 ➪ I tried?
3 ➪ Thank you.
4 ➪ Am I the Problem?
5 ➪ That's the point.
6 ➪ Something wasn't right!
7 ➪ Don't Regret This.
8 ➪ You're here!
9 ➪ Finally.
10 ➪ Come to me, Prick.
11 ➪ Damnit
12 ➪ It's Alright.
13 ➪ I Can't Eat.
14 ➪ Never Again.
15 ➪ Drowning
16 ➪ Kill Himself.
17 ➪ Home.
18 ➪ Better.
19 ➪ Until you are out.
20 ➪ I Blocked Karl.
21 ➪ I Won't be Like Him.
22 ➪ That Night.
23 ➪ Hello, Tommy
24 ➪ Wilbur Doesn't
25 ➪ Don't Go.
26 ➪ I Failed You, Tommy.
27 ➪ Go With Him?
28 ➪ You ran out of time, Karl.
29 ➪ I Need It.
30 ➪ Won't leave you again.
31 ➪ He Ignored Me.
32 ➪ Bye, Karl!
33 ➪ Is He Gonna Be Ok?
34 ➪ Am I the Cause of it All?
35 ➪ Tommy is Gone?
36 ➪ Peace.
37 ➪ He's the Issue.
38 ➪ Get Out.
39 ➪ He Never Meant It.
40 ➪ Tired of Being Here.
41 ➪ They Were Both Gone.
42 ➪ Ask About it Later.
43 ➪ I'm fine, I promise.
44 ➪ Stopped Him.
45 ➪ This was Reality.
46 ➪ Walked Away.
47 ➪ Lowest Point.
48 ➪ Bandage.
49 ➪ Ranboo Smiled.
51 ➪ Won't do It.
52 ➪ You Win This Time.
53 ➪ What Changed.
54 ➪ Dead Weight.
55 ➪ Techno?
56 ➪ Hey, Mom.
57 ➪ Recognize it.
58 ➪ They Care.
59 ➪ I'm Supposed to help...
60 ➪ Trust Your Gut.
61 ➪ Looking up
62 ➪ I'm so Awful.
63 ➪ All of it.
64 ➪ Jealous
➪ A/N

50 ➪ Over the Edge.

4.4K 181 212
By jubidoobi

"Stream?? Gosh.. I haven't done that in forever!" I exclaimed. I really haven't.

"That's alright! I'm sure everyone would be happy to see you though." Ranboo grinned.

"Alright.. When should we?" I asked.

"Right now!" His cheerful and eager grin convinced me enough, we walked to his room.

"Ok.. Your account or mine?" The green and red eyed boy asked me.

"Mine if that's alright? Just so more people know I'm alive." I giggled awkwardly.

"Ok!! Get it set up, I'm gonna go get us water." He walked out of the room.

I logged into my account, checking the offline chat. A rush of guilt came over me when I saw all of the people who were worried for me.

I brushed it off and continued setting up stream, his layout was way different then mine. I didn't want to ruin it so I just decided I'd have his for today.

"You done?" He came in with two glasses of water.

"Mhm." I nodded. I typed the stream title as 'I'm back!' and nothing more.

"What if we just have me standing in front of the camera and you are nowhere to be seen HAHA?!" Ranboo joked.

I laughed too, "Pfft.. They expect to see me but they just see you standing completely still." I wanna do that now.

"Do we actually?"

"Yes! Ok I'll be in the corner, start stream." I grinned and ran behind the camera.

Ranboo started stream and just stood completely still, his sunglasses on.

"Hello, chat!" Ranboo walked to his chair and sat down.

The chat was spamming 'WHAT?' and a bunch of other name spams.

"So I hacked Tommy's account." He lied, I tried not to burst out laughing.

"Yeah.. hacked." I walked into the frame and we both started laughing, high fiving eachother too.

Ranboo took off his glasses, revealing his perfect eyes. "Gotcha chat! Anyways.. Tommy is here!!" Ranboo smiled, as did I.

"Sorry if I worried you guys!! I've been very busy the past month." I apologized to chat.

"But I'm back and better now! So expect content. Speaking of that... What are we even going to do, Ranboo?"  We really didn't think this through

"Hmm.. Maybe a horror game?! That sounds fun." He suggested.

I agreed and him and I found a game on steam, we played it for an hour and then ended stream. It didn't actually go badly at all..

Ranboo POV

Tommy and I walked back to the living room after streaming, watching TV. I suddenly heard stifled sobs. We were at a part in the movie where one of the best character dies, is that why?

"Why did they have to kill her off?!" I whined.

He continued to cry, I turned around. "Tommy.. A-are you alright?" I stumbled.

"N..no" He cried into his hands.

"Tommy its ok I promise... Is it the show?" I walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He shook his head. "No.. it's not- not that."

"Can you tell me what?" I spoke calmly.

"I hate it.. I hate- I hate being.. r-reminded of his death.." He stumbled on so many words, his voice was choked.

"Who?.." I still didn't know who exactly died. And it would help if I did.

"Q-u.." He broke into more sobs and wails. I have to be patient.

"It's alright.." I comforted.

"Qua-Quackity.. He's gone. And it's all my fault." He croaked.

I felt my face go pale as a ghost. No way.. no. He isn't... I felt myself shaking a little. "I'm so sorr- sorry.." I gulped, trying to smile but failing. My expression probably changed drastically. by Tommy's face, I could tell.

"Ranboo- You're aloud t-to be sad.." He mumbled.

I don't have the energy, I'm tired. "I'm sorry I couldn't be of any help. I'm gonna go to my room." I stated coldly, Tommy looked concerned.

I moved into my small room. Spreading my body against the bed, I had so many questions.

"Why did he do it?"

"How did he do it?"

"Why."

"Is Tommy ok?"

"Am I.. Am I ok?"

"Why didn't I stop him?" I could've done something if I was there!! But of course I was just walking around Florida.. Boring.

"What should I even do to comfort Tommy?" I asked myself.

I then got up and dragged myself to the living room. Tommy was just on his phone, "Have you calmed down?" I asked.

"Yeah- Wait?! Are you alright??" He got up.

"I'm ok now. I just cannot believe he's gone." I looked down, feeling upset.

"It isn't your fault. More mine." Tommy stated.

"What? I know nothing about this but.. I know you wouldn't hurt him on purpose, you can't blame it on yourself." I rambled.

"But- .. But it was me! I made him do it!" Tommy mewled.

"Do what..?!"

"Kill himself! I was the entire reason." Tommy yelled, instantly covering his mouth.

"Tommy.. I." My face was pale again, I felt my heart drop and skip several beats. He killed himself?.. How was this Tommy's fault?

I walked over to the blonde boy and hugged him tightly. "I'm so.. I'm so sorry. I promise it isn't your fault no matter what just do- don't blame yourself.." I felt my eyes get teary.

He was just silently crying for a minute or two into my arms. "Thank you for being here.." He sputtered.

"I always will be." I smiled, he pulled out of the hug and sat down.

"I wish I could have atleast said goodbye." He sighed. I had empathy for him, but I just wonder how Sapnap and Karl are feeling.

Probably devastated. They were so close too..

"I just don't wanna talk about it anymore, let's watch something." He suggested.

"O-ok.." I was still amazed at that. Not in a good way.

The whole time we were watching the show, I couldn't stop thinking about Quackity.. I'll never get to see or talk to him again?.. He was so funny and kind. What really pushed him over the edge?

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