Tommy POV
I couldn't take it anymore. I thought I could trust Karl. I gave him a second chance after the first time he broke my trust.. Now this? He just hurt my brother, He called him useless as a whole. I watched the whole thing, and it was fair to say Wilbur was in the right.
I wanted to cut myself. I needed to cut myself.
I haven't since my attempt. I feel like it wouldn't be my last.
I shivered at the thought, feeling the instant regret. The guilt when I heard Karls voicemail. The constant pain after it.. I sat on my bed, the fan blowing against my skin. I was angry with Karl. Wilbur was dead passed out on his bed.
I sighed to myself, getting up and heading to the bathroom, locking it behind me. I searched rapidly for a blade in any of the drawers... none?? shit what do I do..
I started breaking down. I forgot my other blades at my old home. What do I do?? I couldn't think right. I was sobbing, what is wrong with me. Why do I always do this?! I cant do this!! I cry over nothing. I cry because I can't harm myself! That's an issue. Maybe that's why Tubbo hasnt texted me since I tried to.. kill myself. Even Ranboo messaged me?
I suddenly heard a bang on the door, "Tommy? Are you alright?!" It was Wilbur.
"Y-yeah..?" I didn't know..
"Tommy please dont hurt yourse-"
"Wilbur? Tommy? What's going on." Karl suddenly appeared. He was angry. Was he?
I was angry at him.
"Tommy's in there. He sounds like hes been crying." Wilbur sounded tense.
"Tommy. What's going on?! Why'd you give me that look." Karl exclaimed at the door.
"NOTHING!" I yelled. I was digging my nails in to my hand, forming a fist. I just prayed they would leave.
"Tommy come out." Wilbur cried.
"I don't want to right now.. P-please leave me alone." I sobbed quietly.
I looked up, seeing pills on the counter.
nononononononononononono
I started getting flashbacks to that morning.. I blocked out all noises as I stood up, I walked to the bottle of pills.
I gripped it in my hand tightly, I was sobbing now. My body was shaking as I stared at them, I wanted to just swallow them all again.
I read the label.. More bulimia pills? Who were these for, and what even was that?
My mind told me to swallow them all, my body told me to throw them out and dispose of them. I .. Don't know what to do...
I suddenly chucked them in the bin, burying it in trash. I don't care who it was for. I don't care what is was for. I wanted it gone. Quickly, I pushed the door opened and walked out.
"Tommy?!" Wilbur shouted.
"Are you alright?" Karl held my shoulder.
"I'm fine. I just wanna sleep." It was basically the middle of the day, I spent an hour in there somehow?! How?!!
They both nodded and walked out, I went to bed. I really was tired.
I got a notification.
Ranboo: Tubbo and I aren't friends anymore.
Karl POV
I was stressing out, I couldn't find my pills anywhere..
I had only had a few doses since Tommy tried to kill himself. I kept forgetting and I was feeling really bad right now. My throat was sore, my voice was raspy, and I felt very dehydrated. Even though I drank water.. I needed them now, I could die from this god. Why do I do this to myself?
I rushed upstairs, trying to desperately remember where I left them. Karl think god damnit. I scattered around in my room, running out of energy. I smashed my head against the counter in complete anger, shortly regretting it.
My head was throbbing.. I couldn't remember a thing. I dropped to the floor and sat down, reaching for Quackity's phone.
"H...hello?" I spoke as I called Sapnap.
"Why are you calling through my phone?!" Quackity yelled, sending my headache sky high.
"Shut it! Karl what is it?" Sapnap asked in a hushed voice.
"Do you know where.. I uhm. Left my pills?.." I winced.
"Oh! You took them upstairs when you went to Tommy's room, are you alright?" Quackity informed.
"I dunno.. Uhm. Just a headache." I murmured. I then hung up and slowly walked to Tommy's room.
When I got in I was very quiet. Like a ghost, I walked over to the bathroom without making a noise. I started rummaging silently.. They aren't here either. Nononono! I need to get a refill.. I'm gonna die if it isn't soon... Shit shit shit..
I locked the door and ripped my hair, I felt the urge to puke.. Anything to not be like this, to not be ugly, to be born a different life. I hated mine. I called up Sapnap again.
"Didya find em?" Quackity sang.
"N-no. I can't find them.. I feel so sick, just pl..please. Get a refill from the store quickly.. I'm sick." I was on the verge of tears.
"Holy shit- ah.. Alright!" Sapnap was scared.
I heard him and Quackity talking, but I couldn't make it out.
They said bye and hung up, I was praying they would go get them.. I suddenly bent over the toilet and puked, my throat burned.
I threw up until it was just heavy heavy coughing.. My throat was sore and on fire from acid reflex.. Shitt.. I rubbed my throat gently, scared I would go into a panic if touched rougher. I sat up against the bathroom wall, looking at the closet mirror.
I saw just a shell of a person in the reflection, someone who was hurt. I was. I really fucking was. But if anyone knew that, I would be in the wrong for dumping all my problems and trauma onto them.
I put my head into my hands and started crying. I sobbed ever so quietly, I had learned to.
"Look at you, you take up the whole bench. Haha.. I'm just joking, Karl. Don't cry like last time. Wouldn't #-(#%(€∆ be mad? Whatever! Anyways, I'll see you next break! Bye, Karl!"
"N-no.. Stop it... I don't wanna remember!"
"Aren't you tired of Karl too?! He makes our friend group look like a joke. He always apologizes and acts dumb, not to mention his looks." #$-#(=¢¶ snickered.
"Hello?" I whimpered.
"Oh- Karl!? Hah..,, uhm.. Did you hear any of th-"
"Please just.. Stop!" I whisper yelled to myself.
"Karl.. We can't be friends anymore."
"What did I do..?!"
"You!"
...
"Me?.."
"You."
I was sobbing like how I was before, discretely.
"Mrs. (%(9[¢¶, can we change seats? Karl is being mean! He keeps stealing my stuff.!"
"Karl. How many times?! You aren't a student of mine in my eyes. Office now."
"I-Im sorry..?"
"I s-swear I didn't do.. Anything.." I was shaking.
"Karl we should contact your parents, your behavior is unacceptable."
"They won't pick up."
"No..."
"Karl you haven't eaten lunch at all? Im worried."
"I c-can't ∆f√°r¶ it right now. I'll try next week!"
I felt my eyes grow heavy..
"What are you guys doing?" My voice rasped, I was at the edge of a small hill. This is something I couldn't forget. Why is this happening?
My whole class was in front of me, they had big, fake, grins on their faces.
I felt the ground beneath me disappear.. did they just push me off? I heard laughter.
When I landed from the short hill I felt nothing? It wasn't that high anyway. Maybe the pain just hadn't kicked in.
I then sat up to move. I couldn't.
"AHH.. ow.. P-please help.." There was a small metal spike in my back, it stung like hell... Ow. Ow. Ow. Why did they do that?!
I fell right onto my back again, making the spike go a little deeper. I couldn't make out any faces anymore, light was fading as I sat in a muddy trench. Bleeding out.
I suddenly saw a large stone come right my way, it smacked my head.
That's when I couldn't see anymore.. What just happened?! Guys!? Guys!? Don't leave me here!? I can't.. I can't breath!! Help.!
I heard laughs and giggles, maybe they came to help!
"Bye, Karl!"
What?