"Hey, you don't want dessert?"
"Not really," she smiled and to appease him added, "but I might have some later."
"Are you ok," he asked, concern manifested in his tone, "we can leave, you look tired."
"It's ok. It's been nice, good we got to spend some time with Kathleen and Lexie.
I'm going to miss her Derek," she told him while becoming a little distant.
"I'm going to miss her too...speak of the devil," Derek said as the two women walked in the suite.
"I was absolutely stuffed, I needed to walk that off, so we went for a walk around the grounds here, they are quite beautiful, and you get a great view of the bay and the mountains, Derek it was a great choice for me to stay."
"Kathleen, hopefully next time...well not next time, since you said you'd visit with your husband pretty soon, but you know after that, our house will be built and you can stay with us, we'll have a guest room...right Derek, the house should be done."
Kathleen, who had not yet sat down, walked up behind Meredith and put her arms around her shoulders and hugged her, "I am going to miss you."
"Me too," she said becoming sentimental, along with Kathleen and Lexie who had her same propensity for watery eyes.
"Rambling...sentimental fools..." Kathleen smiled, "Lexie, I have no doubts Mom's going to be out here very soon, but if for some reason she is not, then I expect you to join Derek and Meredith when come home for their visit."
"That's nice...Kathleen, but I'm a first year resident, and time off is hard, and your family, I don't know...they get to meet Mer, but I don't know, they might think it's rude for me to assume, well it's a family gathering..."
Meredith was sitting next to her and reached out and grabbed her hand, stopping the familiar movement in the air, "you are my family, part of my family with Derek...I expect you can get the time off for that weekend and join us."
"Meredith...really..." she asked and in that moment her sister realized how very much they needed each other, "really," Meredith said and smiled.
"I can do that...I can get those days off..."
"Lex...I'm thinking...right after that, or before...depending on our schedules, since we'll be East...we can visit Molly...drive to Connecticut or take the train."
"You are..." she said as her eyes filled with tears, "that...that would be lovely...Mer...Mom would be so happy."
"We can...we can do a little shopping at FAO Schwartz...on the way...get some things for Laura...Derek can help."
"What..."
"You can help," Meredith said slipping her hand in his where he sat at the head of the table, "we should probably do that first, I'm sure there's at least seven or eight other kids we'll need to shop for before we get to your Mom's...and the teenagers, well you can give them money or ipods or whatever such things they like now."
"Why am I going to shop for them," he asked playfully.
"Because you moron, you haven't been home in ages, and the least you could do is bring gifts," Kathleen told him.
"Seriously..." he asked, "my visit is not enough?"
"Derek...don't be so brainless," Meredith teased him.
"I wanted to see what Mother hen over there would say...of course we're bringing presents...for fifteen kids...and Laura."
"Actually, Derek, you know I'm kidding...you don't have to and you should not be the uncle...and aunt... bearing gifts, it will make it a very expensive habit for the rest of us, you coming home is all we want."
"Tell that to the kids."
"They don't expect it...well, not really," she said, "and certainly no ipods or phones, token Derek...token gifts," she said, noticing Meredith's melancholy in spite of her efforts to be cheerful, "Mer, honey, do you want to lie down, you should get some rest."
"I'm ok."
"You would be better, I'm sure if you take a nap, go upstairs, lie down."
"I'm...no...it's ok, I couldn't just use your bed."
"Derek," Kathleen interrupted her, "walk her upstairs."
"Come on, I'm not going to argue with her bossiness," he said, thankful for Kathleen's insistence.
He walked behind her, his hand on he small of her back, and sat next to her when they reached the bed, pushing her gently against the pillow, he leaned down and kissed her, and heard the small intake of breath.
"It's ok..."she said, "and pulled her into his arms, "it's ok..." he said as she cried softly against his shoulder.
"I...I was doing ok..."
"You are doing great...and you are so brave...talking about...about all of this..."
"I want us to be happy...I want to be normal...with you...with a family..."
"We are...we already are..."
"I was more tired than I thought," she said and lay back against the pillows.
"Do you want me to stay with you?"
"Yes...but...you should spend some time with her before she leaves tomorrow."
"I can stay...she'd understand."
"I'm going to fall asleep...go ahead...and the two of you need to call your Mom."
"I cannot believe you did that..."
"What...talk to her?"
"No...lie to her..." he laughed.
"I didn't really...except for the day when she got here..."
"And she knows you lied...and isn't mad..."
"Derek...you're pretty lucky...your family...lucky to have them."
"They're your family now too..."
"Well, there is Nancy..."
"You have the two pillars on your side...and me..."
"You think...you think...your Mom will really like me?"
"From what I heard...she already loves you."
"She didn't judge me...Derek...that...that meant a lot..." she said, with tears in her eyes, "even though all she knows about me is the slutty intern..."
"Hey...would you do something for me..."
"What..."
"No more sluttly intern talk...you never were..."
"Derek...I kind of was..."
"You were an intern...with whom I fell in love..."
"That's pushing it...remember our one night stand..."
"Was it... really...just a one night stand..." he asked seriously.
"The first night...of a lifetime..."
"That's how I remember it..." he told her and kissed her, leaving no doubts theirs was a love unequaled to anything they had ever experienced before or expected, and certain few were lucky enough to find it.
Derek joined Kathleen and Lexie and they spent an hour talking, including Kathleen's insight on what they could expect Meredith's emotions would be like over the next several weeks.
Meredith had settled into the comfort of his embrace and resented needing to get up and go to the bathroom She came back to bed and lay on her side just watching him, noticing how the last couple of days had taken their toll on him. She wanted to touch him, but knew if she did he would awaken, and she wanted him to sleep, he'd had very little of it as he'd spent hours watching and worrying over her. She closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath, letting out a sigh, and when she opened her eyes again he was watching her.
"Hey," she said as she laced her fingers with his, "it's so quiet here...how long did I sleep?"
"Oh...probably about three hours...Kathleen dragged Lexie with her to find Mom a bribe..."
"A bribe?"
"She called it a conciliatory gift."
"Did I really screw up...talking to her?"
"Not at all...but Kathleen and I are in the dog house..."
"She...she told me she was not going to be mad at you..."
"Of course she did...she's just not going to let us forget it..."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be...you were brave and strong, and according to Mom, if I don't treat you right, I have her to answer to..."
"You spoke to her?"
"We both did...it's ok Meredith...everything's ok."
"Derek...I'm trying...the family thing...I really am."
"I know you are...and you're doing beautifully."
"I hope so."
"I know so."
"So...she dragged Xena..."
"If you let her, Xena, he laughed, "she's going to hover worse than I will..."
"That's impossible..."
"Care to bet?"
"No...you're probably right..."
"Meredith...what are you thinking?"
"I have two sisters...Derek...well three...but...now...Kathleen and Lexie...they're really my sisters."
"And apparently a semi-knight and brother as well...he's worried about you."
"It's Kathleen's last night here, we should go out to dinner, take her out."
"She's not expecting it ..."
"We still could do it...you know...that little restaurant we like...it will be quiet...and just us...we can ask Mark...and we've spent all day with Lexie...but...if she wants...we could...and not stay to late...I am tired...I don't know why, since I have rested a lot,but, I am...I'm still tired."
"I think that would be very nice, and you are going to be tired for a little while longer, your body's been through a lot...it needs time to heal."
"Derek, do you think...would you be ok...can we ask Cristina?"
"Of course we can...I'll call her."
"Thank you... I know she's been difficult, but she's been there for me, and it will be easier, to see her here than at the hospital."
He drew her to him and kissed her forehead, "you don't need to explain, she's your family too."
"Derek...you know about Kathleen, don't you...and her baby...you figured it out at dinner before she left last night.''
"Yes, she told me it helped to share that with you."
"It meant a lot to me that she did, and she said she wanted it to give us hope...hope...for our future...that this happened, but it doesn't have to happen again."
"I wish I could have been there for her...all these years," he said, and they continued talking about all that the three of them had discussed about her miscarriage.
Snuggling closer to him she said, "Derek...today...it was hard...but knowing...knowing she went on and had her family...that gave me courage...and hope...to talk about our house," she paused and he wiped a tear away from her face, "our kids..."
"Me too...it gave me hope too."
"She said we needed to talk...that we could call her. That sometimes, sometimes...just holding each other...that would help."
"Does it?"
"Yes...just knowing you're there...your presence helps..."
"I'll always be here...you know that...right?"
"I don't have any more doubts...but...just remember...my hormones...they won't be back to normal for a while...and my doubts ...my insecurities...they won't go away overnight."
"I know we will deal with everything...one day at a time..."
"I love you Derek," she said kissing him softly, and then allowed him to hold her close.
"I love you Meredith," he whispered and let himself be comforted by her embrace, and the gentle caress of her fingers soothingly stroking his hand.
They heard the commotion downstairs and went to join Kathleen and Lexie.
"Derek, I bought a gift from you and Meredith...Mom is going to love it."
"What did you buy?"
"A beautiful frame for a photo of you two...there were some great ones the other night, and I know she's going to love that for her ever growing collection of family shots, you're going to have to email them to me so I can get it printed before I give it to her."
"That's a very thoughtful gift, Kathleen, thanks for thinking of it," he said.
"Of course it is...and perfect to diffuse any remaining anger, remember, you are three thousand miles away, I'll be right there."
"I thought...Derek, you said you spoke with her and everything was ok?"
"It is, Kathleen is being melodramatic."
"Don't worry Mer, she is fine...but that woman is a hawk, just preemptive measures," she laughed.
"Hey, Meredith and I were talking, and we want to take you out to dinner."
"Oh...no...I won't hear of it, she needs to rest, not be out gallivanting, besides, Lexie and I passed this little restaurant, " she said naming it, "that had a great menu posted, and I think I will just order in...and if you are up to it, you can all stay and we call it an early night, my flight leaves at seven in the morning."
Meredith laughed, "Kathleen, that is exactly the place Derek and I were thinking of, it's one of our favorites, it's quiet, I can go...I've been resting a lot, and I still have a couple more days off, so I'm fine, and I thought we'd ask Mark and if Lexie can stay...it will be a quiet family night...and Derek is going to call Cristina..."
"Mer, I've been here a long time today...I can just go...I don't want to impose..."
"Lexie...you don't have to stay...it's only if you want to," she said softly while at the same time conveying her feelings about it.
"I ...well, you know..."
"I'd like my sister to be there...on a night with family..."
"Derek," she said knowing the still strained relationship that existed between him and Cristina, "would you like me to call Cristina?"
"Yes, Xena..." he smiled, "that would be nice, I'll call Mark."
"I thought so..."
"Ok...you make yourselves at home, and I'm going to rearrange my packing, I had to buy a big bag to fit everything in, so I'll check the small one I brought."
"Kat, Mer and I are going to drive home...we'll be back in a couple of hours for dinner, Lex you want to come with us?"
"Lexie, you're welcome to stay here, there's no comfortable room in that place to sit."
"Ok...your point was been well made...Lex, what do you want to do?"
"Actually," she said, looking at Derek, "I forgot I was supposed to be at the hospital for a procedure, just to watch, but I can still be back for dinner..."
"What kind of procedure," Meredith questioned.
"I'm not sure...well, of course I'm sure, but Cristina said it would be really good if I could watch...cause they don't do them very often, so she wanted me to be there for the prep work of it all..."
"Really," Meredith questioned again, "I can't ever recall anything like that..."
"Maybe it's something new..."
"Lexie Grey...tell me what you are up to right now," Meredith scolded.
"I don't know what you're talking about...really, Mer...it's something I forgot about."
"Fine."
"I'll tell you all about it afterwards...ok?"
"Just remember, I'm your older sister...you are not supposed to lie to me."
"Really, Mer, I'm not lying...it is something I said I would do..." she said, making sure with that last statement she could not tell her she had lied.
"Lexie..."
"Ok., fine...it's a surprise..."
"Derek...I hate surprises...this is all your doing..."
"Maybe..."
"You could have just said so, instead of making Lexie lie all over the place."
"I didn't actually lie Mer...well, I did, but not the last sentence I told you."
"Fine...just go...the two of you I swear are just like kids."
"Thank you, Xena," Derek told her as he kissed her cheek.
"You're welcome...it's what sisters in law are for..."
"Just remember, I was your sister first..."
"Well...not really..." he taunted.
"What are you talking about?" she said, while Kathleen enjoyed their banter.
"The other Grey and I were friends first..."
"Oh, you ...you jack-ass..."
"I thought you'd only reserved that for Mr. Levangie..."
"This fit," she said and gently smacked him, as he grabbed her and kissed her.
"Ok...children...I'm going to pack," Kathleen laughed and went up to the loft, "lock up behind you."
"Come on Lex," Meredith said, and they walked out leaving Derek to follow.
"So...what did you coerce her to do?" she said as they drove to the trailer.
"Coerce her...you wound me..." he smiled, while he held her hand.
"Derek...come on, you know I don't really like surprises..."
"You'll like this one...I think..."
"Just tell me..."
"I asked her to bring some clothes over for you and a small suitcase..."
"Why?"
"After Kathleen leaves...I'd like for us to go away for the next couple of days...I think we need the change of scenery..."
"Oh..." she said, and looked out the window into the distance.
"Meredith..."
"It's...it's..." she paused, and cleared her throat, "a very thoughtful idea."
"Are you upset?"
"No" she said, and as they were already on his land, undid her seatbelt and sat close to him, "thank you," she whispered, gently squeezing his hand.
They reached the trailer and she told him she wanted to use his computer, send an email to thank her friends for the flowers, though she intended to write note to each of them at some point. Addressing it to all of them, she wrote simply: Thank you for the flowers and the beautiful card. Derek and I will always be grateful for your thoughtfulness and words of support during this very sad moment in our lives. Love, Meredith.
He read as she stood behind her and then extended his hand for her to get up and held her, and without any words exchanged allowed her to cry softly and quietly in his arms.
They all arrived at the restaurant at about the same time, except Mark, and they had stopped by to get Kathleen on the way. Cristina and Lexie drove in together, and as it was the first time Meredith had seen her since the miscarriage they all gave them a few minutes of privacy and went inside.
The two friends exchanged glances and Cristina went to her side, and though incredibly brief, she hugged her, but her words were uttered with such intensity and regret, it was enough, "I am deeply sorry about your baby."
Meredith took a deep breath, before releasing her, "thank you...for being here."
"Are you ok?"
"No...not at all," she said as tears rolled down her face.
"But...you will be."
"Sometime..."
"I'm here," Cristina said, resting her head on Meredith's shoulder.
"I'm going to need you."
"I won't let you down, not again."
"Let's go in."
Meredith and Cristina approached the table set for six, and Derek stood to greet them, and Cristina uprising them all faced him and in a quick embrace simply stated, "I'm sorry about the baby."
"Thank you," he acknowledged, as he watch the tears in Meredith's eyes.
Mark joined them almost immediately, and endured several minutes of jokes about his "unexpected" delay at the hospital. "Oh cut the shit, all of you...you've heard of sex...so I have a healthy sex life, you're just jealous."
"Speak for yourself," Kathleen laughed, "I have no complaints at all, even three thousand miles away..." she teased, knowing how it disturbed Derek to hear her say that.
"That's one thing we won't miss, Kat, " Derek taunted right back, "hearing about your sex life."
"Tell me, Cristina," Kathleen said after they had ordered dinner, and attempting to draw her into the conversation, as she did not quite understand all the nuances between her and Derek, "I understand you are responsible for Derek's McDreamy nickname, though you don't necessarily agree he's earned it."
Surprising her with the straight forward approached, Cristina laughed, "you don't pull any punches?"
"Absolutely not, but I understand neither do you, that if we're looking for straight answers, you're the person to ask."
"Well, to a degree...now Alex...he has no finesse at all," she said and they all laughed, except Kathleen having no idea what that meant.
They spent the evening sharing stories from the last year, including Alex's lack of finesse.
"So...Grey, I hear you spoke to Mrs. S," Mark chimed in.
"How...how do you now, who told you," were all heard from the three involved.
"She called me, thanked me for being so supportive, which threw me for a loop until she said, Mark, sweetheart, I understand you are not going to reveal their confidences, but I just wanted you to know I am grateful you are there for them, and you better not pull any stunts ever again."
"She worked fast," Kathleen laughed.
"Mer, you spoke to Derek's Mom?" Cristina asked incredulously.
"Not only did she speak to my Mom, Cristina, she took the phone away from Kathleen to do so," he stated with obvious pride.
"You did not...Mer...you don't do family..."
"Apparently I do now...well, just look at us now," she observed and smiled.
"By the way Mer, you are supposed to email her, she said something about at last every other day," Mark told her.
"I need a drink," she said and caught the waiter's attention, "bring two double scotch single malts, one for him she indicates Derek, and one for me, and whatever everyone else wants, this round's on me."
"Oh my God," Kathleen cracked up, "you are doomed, Mom wants your email."
"Doomed?" Meredith asked.
"Yes, because now, she will bombard you with more than ten emails a day," she said and continued laughing.
"You're joking, she will not."
"She will...she has become an addict, the last two years, and all her friends that have nothing else to do send her emails that she feels she needs to pass along, because they are just so meaningful and hold life's greatest wisdom, and her children have to read them," she laughed, "oh, Meredith, you are so screwed."
"You are so mean to your mother..." she said indignantly, "she's old, well I mean, don't you dare tell her I said that...I mean she's older, she's older than all of us, and hell we're supposed to email, but your Mom, Derek, you never told me your Mom emails you ten times a day."
"She doesn't."
"You see Kathleen."
"That is just because he and Mark lied to her and told her that hospital policy does not allow for personal emails."
"Then...she won't email me...all of those..."
"Honey, she doesn't want your hospital email, believe me...she gets around that..."
"I...I'll email her...I'll reply..."
"Good luck, Mer, you won't have time to do anything else," Kathleen and Mark laughed.
"Derek...do you respond...from your personal email..." Meredith asked.
"Sometimes..."
"You...you traitor...no wonder she's ready to forgive you anything..."
"Kathleen they are not so bad...I just don't pass them along as they threaten you with all sorts of evil curses if you don't send it to 23 people..."
"You just respond to her, you jerk and she thinks you're passing then along," Kathleen laughed, "you...are making us all look bad, Derek Christopher and you better stop it, or else."
"Or else..."
"Whatever...just stop...tell her you cancelled you personal email account," she said, "that's what I did," and they all laughed.
"You lying...conniving..."
"Smart...wise...woman...who's just given you an out..." she winked.
"Yeah...well...Meredith can communicate with her now."
"Cowards," she told them.
"And you..." Mark warned her, "don't you dare tell her we've been lying."
"I'll have to see...sort of like that bribe you intended for Kathleen," she teased, and they all laughed having heard the story at Joe's.
When they all had their drinks, Derek was the first to pick up his, "Cristina, to friends...friends who become family," he said and raised his glass to her, and with that yet another process of healing and bonds of friendship and trust, though slowly, began.
"Derek, did you remember to bring the camera," Kathleen asked.
"You called me once and left two text messages."
"That does not mean you brought it."
"He didn't, but I did," Meredith said and took it out of her bag.
"Great, this is wonderful to be able to have pictures of all of you back home," and with years of practice of recording every moment of her children's lives, she proceeded to do the same, recording the images of an unconventional family, a family newly found and the strengthening of its ever increasing familial ties and bonds.
Mark was the first to get up, and held his hand out for Kathleen, who got up and he engulfed her in a bear hug, "I'm going to miss you like hell, don't stay away long,"
"I won't...we'll be back soon...and you are expected at Jenna's, no excuses, Meredith and Derek have already told Mom they will be there."
"I'll be there," he said and kissed her goodbye. "Say hello to my rival," he teased, and they both laughed in good humor, "have a safe flight, I love you."
"I love you too," she said hugging him back, and whispering, "you were right, about her, about protecting her...I've gained a new sister."
"I told you...and Mom has a new daughter from what she said today."
"You've been the best of brothers to him...and her...thank you."
"That's what family is for... I learned that from you."
"Don't forget it."
He turned to Meredith and hugged her, "you're going to be just fine...I'm sure of it, I'm glad I could be here tonight...thank you..."
"It's our family..."
"We're lucky, the two DM's...we lucked out ..."
"Yeah...we did..."
"Shep, see you guys in a couple of days."
"Lexie, Yang...I'll walk with you..."
"We'll all walk out..." Derek said, "Lexie has some things for Meredith," and with that the group made their way to their cars.
Derek took the bag from Lexie's car while Meredith said, "Cristina, thanks for being here, I'll see you in a few days."
"Get some rest, ok..."
"I will."
"We're set, your bag's in my car," he said putting his arm around Meredith.
"Shepherd, thanks for the invitation."
"You're welcome Cristina, we're glad you could join us," he said, and she nodded in conciliatory acknowledgment and got in the car.
"Xena, you're a good sister..." he said, and kissed her check goodnight
"She's better than good, she's great," Meredith smiled, and gave her a hug goodnight.
"Mer...I really think...Mom...and your Mom are watching over us..."
"I really think you're right...I love you Lexie."
Kathleen watched the exchanges quietly and sent a silent prayer, "Dad...I know you're watching too...because when I got here...how things were...and now...only God's healing touch could have helped them through this...I love you Dad...thank you...thank you for teaching us about family."
When they reached Kathleen's bed and breakfast they walked her to the door, and went in briefly, "I think this is where we say goodbye..." she said with deep emotion in her voice.
"What...we're taking you to the airport," Meredith said.
"Listen you two," she said, "my flight leaves at seven and I'm going to take a cab to the airport when I get off the ferry, there is no need for you to get up at four...which is what you'd need to do to be on the four forty five ferry, so forget it."
"Derek...tell her, we're not going to let her do that..."
"Of course we're not..."
"Meredith...you need your rest...and I am a big girl...I can get to the airport..."
"Derek..." Meredith said in her bossiest voice.
"Meredith...just let her ramble...I'm going to be here to take her ..."
"You're going to be here..." she said..."I'm coming with you."
"No you're not, she's right...you need to rest."
"Enough...you two...enough...I am going to the airport with you...are you out of your mind...do you think I'm going to let your sister...my sister too by the way...and she said so...after being here with us all these days...just get on the ferry and go to the airport...no...I'm going with you, and that's all there is to it...so let's just say goodnight so we can get some sleep and be up at four in the morning...just like I have to do so many morning to get to work...and this...this Derek...it's family...you want me to do family...well...fine...I'm doing family...now let's go."
"I'd missed that...bossy Meredith..." he laughed.
"Let's go...Kathleen, go to sleep...you have a long day ahead of you," she smiled and hugged her. "I'm going to rest...I am...the next two days...I'll rest."
"Good night Meredith," she said kissing her check, then his, "Derek...you can't get away from it..."
"The bossy women..." he laughed.
"Don't ever forget it," Meredith smiled. "Good night, Kat."
"Good night you two."
Meredith and Derek lay each other's arms, her face gently on his chest listening to his heartbeat, while he remembered his sister's words, "Dad watches over us" and he prayed, hoping he did.
Prayers were answered and miracles manifested each day in so many different ways, but tonight long after sleep had finally claimed two emotionally exhausted lovers, Meredith would find comfort and peace in a dream, a dream that many years from now she would truly comprehend, and when she did, she would finally understand one of the many reasons why long ago, this night in fact, the love she shared with the man now sleeping by her side was deemed to be legendary.