I've been overly protective of Karl recently. And I always checked up on him before, but now it was almost an hourly thing. I didn't know if it annoyed him or not until now,
"Tommy I'm fine! You really don't need to keep checking up on me.. I'm not a child." He rolled his eyes.
"B-but Karl! You tried to commit literally a day ago, I'm still scared of losing you!" I whined.
"Just don't do it all the time! Maybe once or twice a day but hourly?! You're being a hypocrite!" He pointed out.
"How!?" I was vividly confused, how was I.?
"You said you don't want people treating you differently and now you are treating me like an infant," Karl stated. I wasn't trying to..
"I'm sorry.. I didn't mean it like that." I admitted to my mistake, I really had to work on that.
"It's alright, Tommy! I just don't want to fight with you again." He smiled and then scruffed up my hair.
"Stooopppp!!" I whimpered and pulled off his hand. He laughed and then we saw Dream calling us to the living room again.
"Goodmorning guys!! I just want to say that we all are going home tomorrow, sadly." We all frowned and said ours aws. None of us wanted to leave, we have had so much fun. Well. Some of us did.
"Awww I don't want to leave.." I whined, Karl put an arm around me,
"Neither do I! But at least we can still talk." He smiled and so did I. His energy was so radiant.
"Yeah.. I guess. I'm gonna go pack my bags!" I sighed and ran upstairs.
I packed my bags slowly, I really didn't want to leave. I'd have to go back to Phil where I'd just experience more mental strain. Plus I wouldn't have Karl... My face got a little red and tears formed in my eyes when thinking about it. I was so dramatic snd emotional for no reason.. I could still call him.
"Hey, Tommy! Are you excited to go back?" Tubbo smiled, I wasn't too keen on him even though we hung out all day yesterday. But that was mostly because Ranboo was there.
"Eh.. Not really, I want to stay here." I groaned, Ranboo walked in while I was speaking.
"Yeah I agree, It's been really fun! How about you Tubbo?" Ranboo stated.
"I'm not going home, remember?" He frowned.
Ranboo looked a little guilty, "S-sorry.. Where are you staying anyway?."
"Probably with Dream or Karl. I don't really mind where I go as long as it isn't with my parents!" He explained. I didn't want him going with Karl.
"That's good! I hope you like it more." Ranboo smiled.
"Oh trust me, I will." Tubbo laughed.
I finished packing my bags and went to go talk to Karl again. I ran downstairs and he was with Quackity and Sapnap,
"Hello!!" I shouted.
all of them greeted me, they started talking about video ideas. I tuned in for a little then just zoned out, my thoughts weren't good.
Is Karl going to be ok?
How am I going to help him?
I'll be useless
nonono-
How will he help me??
I need him..
I suddenly felt sick to my stomach, but when I ran to the bathroom I didn't feel the urge to throw up. I more felt the urge to-
nononononono
I don't want to cut myself now
Not here
Not now
Why can't I see?
What am I doing?
I pulled the blade I found out from my pocket, Why did I even take it..? I stared at it, knowing I was going to do it. Why was I doing it..? Can I not go two days without hurting myself? I rolled up my sleeves looking at the cuts I had from the other day. I held the blade to my wrist with a shaky hand.
I pressed down and watched as small beads of blood-forming and then started dripping. I wasn't even crying, It's like I was used to it. It didn't even hurt..? Why isn't it hurting?!
I sliced deeper cuts on my legs and arms, wishing for some sort of pain or relief. I felt nothing and soon realized I was bleeding out tremendously.
I reached for tissues, slowly holding them to my arm. I looked at my old bloodied bandages and sighed. I didn't really want anyone knowing about my deep cuts, not even Karl..
I guess I wasn't bandaging them, so Id have to hide my arms better. I waited till the blood stopped and then walked out of the bathroom.
"Hey, Tommy, you alright?" Karl instantly asked.
"Yup! I'm alright, I'm just a little down about leaving." I sighed, lying a little. I didn't want him to worry too much.
It was nighttime now and I felt gloomy. I've said many times I didn't want to leave and I meant it. I couldn't even sleep. I cut myself again. Karl got mad. If he finds out he will be mad. I have to leave him.
I don't want to.
When It was finally morning, I walked out of bed groggily. I didn't sleep at ALL last night. I wish I did.
"Tommy?? Did you get any sleep?" Ranboo concerned.
"No.." I groaned.
"I'm sorry, I hope you get home well!" Ranboo smiled at me, how did I even hate him before?
I walked downstairs with my bag and Techno said we were going in 10. I was saddened and surprised. I ran up to Karl and jumped him with a hug, he hugged back tightly.
"I'll miss you!" I cried.
"We can still talk, Tommy." Karl laughed.
"It's not the saaaamee..." I whined and jumped off of him, I then went and gave everyone else goodbyes and hugs. I hated the idea of leaving.
When we made it to the airport I instantly for flashbacks to when we came here and got nervous. I hated the plane ride.
"Tommy, just like the way here, you are going to be fine! I and Techno are with you." Wilbur reassured me. I still didn't feel well.
Once we got on the plane I curled up into my knees and started thinking the worst possible thoughts.
What if It crashes.
Is Karl gonna make it home ok?
What if I throw up?
Is Karl ok?
What if the plane opens?
Karl?
I need Karl.
I soon realized I was breathing heavily and Wilbur was trying to calm me down, Although I was blocking him out.
"Sorry, I have a lot on my mind," I spoke.
He nodded and didn't make too much of it.
The plane ride back was treacherous, but eventually, we made it home.
I don't want to be home.