"What do you mean 'I can't eat?!" I exclaimed, Why can't he eat?
"I.. I just can't! It makes my stomach hurt w-worse.. And I get awful headaches a-and nosebleeds.. Last time I passed out!" He cried, now that I think about it.. It's probably because he ate too much.
"Listen, Wilbur.. I know it's hard to eat but bare with me, I can help you. J-just.. Don't eat too much." I stuttered, He nodded slowly.
"Look I.. I went through this too and.. It sucks. I was in the hospit- No. Nevermind sorry this is about you.. I can help you eat slowly!" I smiled, trying not to overshare.
"A-are you sure..? Dont you have to deal with Tommy.." Wilbur questioned, being selfless.
"No! I can deal with you all, Im fine with it." I intervened, I wanted to help.
Even if it mentally drained me.
"O-ok.. What do I need to do? I hate this." Wilbur said, He was like me when I had an eating disorder. Hated it.
"I'll help you with what to eat and portions, we can start tomorrow morning." I smiled happily. He lightly smiled back and thanked me.
He headed off to his room where he was originally going before I stopped him. I started walking to my room until I noticed Tubbo staring at me from being the wall.
"Tubbo?"
"Ah! Uhm.. H-hi.." He whimpered whilst getting caught.
"What is it?" I asked.
"I was listening and wanted to ask.. Are you Ok?" Tubbo asked, I hadn't heard that in awhile. I smiled,
"Im fine Tubbo!"
I lied.
"Oh! Ok... Have a goodnight Karl." He hugged me then ran with Ranboo to his room.
I stared at the empty living room, the light was super dim. I was saddended along with the air in the room. Rough.
"Why am I here?" I spoke quietly to myself as I sat on the floor.
I have always questioned myself. If my friends just use me or not. If they even refer to me as friends? I kept thinking, Would everyone be hurting if I left? Or just find a new person to dump their feelings on. I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. I thought I had grown enough to help others just as much as I helped myself. I had to help myself.
I was alone.
Before I knew it I was crying and breathing heavily. And my hands were shaky. I was on the ground with my hands ripping my hair tightly.
helphelphelphelphelp
I sobbed loudly, loud enough for someone hear.
No one cared.
Why didn't they care when I cared.
I still have to care. I can do it myself.
I took a deep breath, getting myself out of my panicked state. Thank god.
I stood up and looked at the dim empty room.
How do I feel?
I stumbled back slowly to my room, I had to be quiet for Sapnap and Quackity.
𝚃𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚢 𝙿𝙾𝚅
I woke up and went downstairs, feeling a little happier since yesterday. I walked to the table where I saw Wilbur eating a tiny portion of food. Everyone said goodmorning to me, which was a little abnormal.. Did I do something?
"How you doing, Tommy?" Dream asked.
"Good..? Why..." I answered. They were acting weird.
"Oh! Hah.. Uhm nothing.. Just wanted to check up!" The room was uncomfortable. Karl had a guilty and saddened look on his face. Is he ok?
"Karl.. Are you alright?" I whispered to him.
"Yup!" He replied swiftly, obviously not wanting to talk. I didn't continue the conversation after, What happened..
I tried not to think about it.
Later in the day everyone was playing in the pool, I was wondering why no one asked me to come in. I didn't want to come in anyway.
"Tommy jump in!" Quackity yelled, I spoke too soon. Sapnap budged his arm, Quackity looked confused then something lit up in him.
"S-sorry.. Nevermind, you can just chill." He smiled.
"What?" I was so confused, what kind of corrupted event happened while I was asleep. "Why is everyone acting weird..?"
"Tommy.. We.. We know about your.." He cut himself off with silence. Know about my what?.. Then it clicked for me. How. How did they know.
"My self harm.?" I muttered sternly, Quackity nodded slowly.
"How did you guys.. find.. out?" I felt an unknown heat rise inside me, Not sure if its sadness or anger.
"K-Karl.." They could sense my energy. Which wasnt good.
I got up from where I was sitting and walked inside. Where the hell is he? I trusted him. And he fucking told EVERYONE. I didn't even give him permission... I thought.. I could finally trust someone.
I suddenly spotted him and felt anger when I looked at his dumb fac- No I don't mean that. Maybe I do.
"KARL!" I shouted.
"Hey, Tommy!" He smiled weakly.
His expression changed when he saw mine. He backed up a little,
"A-are you alright.. Uhm. Tommy?" He sweated, he knew what he did wrong.
"NO. IM NOT FUCKING ALRIGHT." I rasped.
"T-Tommy.. I'm sorry.." Tears pricked his eyes, I should be the one crying.
"I DONT FORGIVE YOU." I didn't forgive him, not yet. I was so angry I couldn't express it as much as I wanted to. I felt like an rabid dog, barking at the person they love.
"I didn't want to! I regret telling them Tommy! Im so sorry.. I didn't want to break your trust!" He raised his voice, starting to get more emotion.
"How can I fucking trust that now." I spat.
He looked surprised, "Exactly.. How can you trust me." He muttered, I felt a push of guilt.
"T-Tommy I don't want to fight you. Im already fighting enough." He said with zero emotion. It was a little scary.
I huffed, "Fuck you." And walked away, back up to my room. I jumped on my couch and stared at the roof. Was I too mean? What does he mean hes fighting enough? What?
I cant even describe my hatred for him. I felt tears running down my face again, I'm not going to self-harm but i'm so fucking mad. now everyone knows and is gonna baby me and think I'm weird. what the hell Karl.
I hate you Karl
I'm never telling anyone ANYTHING again.
Never again.