The Girl in the Mirror 2 (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Harry’s POV

My head hurts as I focus my attention briefly on Mark. This isn’t going to go down well, he is going to call me every name under the sun. It isn’t my fault though, I never asked Paige to come here. She has just taken it upon herself to turn up, so she can support me.
Mark’s eyes open even wider, wider than before and his stare burns into me, he’s blazing. He looks even angrier, as Paige wraps her small arms around my back. She holds me tightly against her body and my instinct takeovers, making me return the gesture. I place my arms around her back, pulling her tightly against me, too. I know I shouldn’t be doing this, and that I should push Paige away, but I need this. I need some comfort from someone to make me feel normal, to help try and push this pain away.
Mark’s eyes remain burning into me, a mix of anger and disappointment showing on his face. I stay rooted to the spot, avoiding his judgemental gaze. I can’t deal with him, not right now. I am going through something traumatic, dealing with more heartache. So, why should I not seek comfort from a friend? I’m not actually doing anything wrong, it’s just a hug. I haven’t got many friends left, so I need to hold onto her as tightly as I can. I don’t think there is anybody else who would stay by my side, other than Paige. She’s the only friend I have and I need her.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” Mark rages.

Paige quickly moves out of my embrace, staring at Mark and then back at me. She doesn’t have any clue who he is and I’m not about to start doing introductions. She doesn’t need to know who he is and vice versa. She clearly didn’t think about who he could be, when she ran and threw her arms around me. Maybe, she did think and she is doing this on purpose, wanting to end me and Sienna. Maybe, she wants everyone to know what we have done. Or, maybe she just cares about me and wanted to be here for me.
She suddenly laces her hand in mine, our fingers entwining, making me feel uncomfortable. I can feel Mark’s eyes burning into our hands. Why the fuck am I doing this?

“Are you okay? What’s happened?” Paige’s voice is full of concern.

She stares back at me, her soft facial features covered in concern. Her brow is crinkled together in confusion and her blue eyes are full of worry. She squeezes my hand tightly, urging me to talk to her. How the fuck did I get myself into this mess?
Mark is watching my every moment, staring at me in pure disbelief. He can’t believe what I am doing, after everything that has happened today. He can’t believe my pure cheek and my blatant audacity at how I am behaving. I can’t believe it either, yet I don’t stop it.
I cover my face with my spare hand, rubbing my face hard and trying to gain some sense, again. I can’t think properly, everything has happened too fast. I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t know why I am ruining everything. Why do I keep ruining everything?
I can’t let Sienna find out about this, about everything I have done. I never intended on hurting her, I didn’t want to do that. I was drunk and I wasn’t thinking straight. I wasn’t think about the consequences, I just wanted to know I still had someone, someone who cares. My problem is I never think when I’ve had a drink. That’s why I shouldn’t do it.
My poor Sienna, this will kill her. It will break her inside if she finds out about what I have done. I need to do all I can to stop that from ever happening. I need to find a way to stop her from ever finding out about this, this brief hiccup.

“Please don’t tell, Sienna” I blurt out.

Mark’s mouth falls open and he lets out a noise between a laugh and a gasp. Paige pulls her hand out of mine, realising last night wasn’t what I wanted. I never wanted to be with her, not long term. I just needed her for the night, I needed her until I was of sober mind again. I do care about Paige, I always have, but she knows and so does everyone else, my heart will always be with, Sienna.
All I need to do now is to convince Mark to keep quiet, to not tell Sienna. I need to make sure me and Sienna are okay, she is my priority. She will always be my priority.
I do appreciate Paige, just not how she needs me too. She wants me to give her the world and all I can ever offer her is a small town. I will never be able to give her enough and one day she will realise that.
I’m thankful that I went to Paige last night though, even though it was wrong. I needed the release, to get rid of the built up tension and she let me do that. I’m just thankful that I know I can trust her. I know she will keep last night a secret. She isn’t the type of person to talk and to reveal to everyone what we have done. If she ever planned on selling me out, she would have done it by now. She would have sold her story to the newspapers, but she never did. She always swore to me it was never about the fame or about the money, being with me. She said it was because she loved me and I believe her. I can believe now, that she just loved me.

“Don’t you fucking dare! Don’t even think about asking me to keep your dirty secret!”

Mark is raging, breathing in and out heavily, so he can try and calm down. His fists are clenched tightly by his sides. His large hands, clenched into large fists, which he is ready to smash into my face. He would shatter my nose, with just one punch, maybe they’d even knock some of my teeth out.
I take a small step back from him, holding my arm out, holding onto Paige and pulling her with me. She stands by my side, staring at Mark and then back at me. I gulp slightly, ready to convince him the right way to go about this. Although, trying to convince him, may end with him knocking me out.

“I’m not asking you to do this for me, I’m asking you not to say anything for Sienna’s sake. It will crush her if she finds out and she needs me. She needs me beside her, to look after her, when she wakes up. You know as well as I do that she can’t do this alone. She and the baby need me. Will you be able to live with yourself when you break her heart? Do you want to be the one responsible for knocking her over the edge?”

I only just manage to finish my words, when he grabs me by my shirt and he slams me against the wall. It feels like déjà fucking vu, when the blow winds me. He pins me hard up against the wall, my feet held off the ground. I take a deep breath, trying to breathe through the pain.
His face is just inches from mine, I can feel him breathing heavily through his nose. I can even smell her perfume, my girl’s fragrance, lingering on him. His teeth are clenched together, his nostrils flaring and the vein in his forehead is throbbing. It is literally pulsing and looks like it is ready to burst.

“Are you kidding me?” he rages.

I feel flicks of spit leaving his mouth and they land on my face, as he speaks. He breathes heavily, trying to hold in the fury, which is building inside him.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he repeats “You’ve slept with someone else and you are trying to guilt me into keeping this shit quiet! You’re trying to say this will end up being my fault! Don’t you fucking dare try and push this onto me, kid. I swear I will fucking destroy you and I will enjoy every single second of it. You’re the cheekiest bastard I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing.”

He can’t see past his anger, he can’t see that I’m talking sense. I’m saying this for her, not for me. I’m just trying to do the right thing for once, I’m thinking of her.  

“Do you even fucking realise what you’ve done to her? The shit you’ve done to her, over the years!” he rages.

I gulp, listening to his laid bare words. I’ve been trying to act tough all of this time, but really I am shitting myself. I’m scared of him, he’s a fucking giant compared to me. A ferocious beast!

“You’ve drained her, you’ve drained the life out of her. She was a fucking good time, then she met you. She use to smile, a genuine smile and now, she doesn’t smile. I haven’t seen her smiling, not even once in your company. She’s miserable, it’s you who makes her that way. She’s a shadow of the person I use to know, even Trevor agreed with me. You still think she has done you wrong over the years, but you have no clue it’s you who has done the lasting damage. I hate you and I won’t stop until she hates you too. You little fucking maggot!”

His words enrage me, making my body tense up. Paige just watches us, not doing anything. She is as fucking useless as a chocolate teapot. I can’t believe he is saying I’ve drained her. The fucking cheek of him and Trevor! They don’t know who I was before I met her, I was happy and carefree. I was funny, kind and liked by everyone, who knew me. She destroyed that person, she still does, even now.
They don’t see that she tossed me aside, she tosses me aside, whenever she feels like it. Then I have to wait, I have to wait for her to decide she wants me back and she wants to give us another chance. She has always used me like a toy, which she broke and never wanted to use again.

“You’ve no clue who she is, you don’t know her anymore and you never did. She doesn’t even like you, you think by being nice to her, that she will sleep with you again? Well, she won’t, she will never sleep with you, again. She’s with me, she loves me and she always will. So, go on and do what you have to do. Tell her about me and Paige, but just know that, she will forgive me. She always forgives me.”

He laughs, letting go of me and he shakes his head, stepping away from me.

“You have no clue kid, you have no idea what I had with Sienna and you never will. The difference between us is I don’t just sleep with woman, I don’t objectify them like you. I was brought up to respect women and now I’m a man, I know how to do that. I treat every woman how I would want someone to treat my sister. I would never think of Sienna like that, like she is just a piece of meat. I respect her. She’s worth so much more than you are implying and she deserves so much fucking more than you.”

He has picked the wrong person to argue with, I can go all night. He thinks he’s a big man, trying to intimidate me, but I see through him. I can see the truth, whenever he says her name. I know deep down that he hates me because Sienna loves me. She loves me how he always wanted her to love him. It kills him inside to see how much she loves me. The realisation of how much she still loves me, rips him up inside and it burns him, every time he sees us together.
I have so much more to say to him. I want to humiliate him, like he keeps trying to do to me. My mouth opens, ready to speak, but Paige jumps in, before we can continue.

“Harry, stop!” she urges.

She places her hand on my arm, calming me and I stare at her, now that Mark has backed off. She’s upset, I knew she would be, but I haven’t got the time or energy to deal with her. I can’t stand here and build up her deflated ego. I have other things to deal with, like this arsehole.
I turn back to Mark and then I see the nurse heading towards us. I don’t go for him like I had planned, I await news from this woman and I pray it’s good. I pray my Sienna is okay.

“What’s going on?” I ask, when she reaches us.

She is smiling lightly, a sign that she isn’t coming with bad news, which is a huge relief.

“I haven’t got any update on Sienna yet, but the doctor has said you can see your baby. You won’t be able to hold him, but you can see him and touch him. He’s in intensive care, in an incubator. I need to warn you that there are a lot of machines and tubes, they’re all helping him. I don’t want you to be upset, when you see them.”

“I’d love to see him” Mark jumps in.

The cheeky bastard! I don’t feel like I am in the right frame of mine to see him, not yet. The problem is I refuse to let Mark see him, especially before me. I need to get this over with. The quicker I see him, the easier it will be to deal with it all. I just want to make sure Mark has no involvement, I want him gone. I refuse to let him be a part of anything to do with my family.

“I’m the father, I want to be the first to see him.” I tell her.

Mark stares at me with a venomous gaze, his lips pressed together tightly. He doesn’t say anything, even though I can tell he wants to. He knows though I have the power, the upper hand and in reality, he has nothing.

“Okay, well come with me then” the nurse says.

I glance over at Mark, giving him a victorious smile, which I know is a cheap blow, considering the circumstances. I should be more concerned about my family, than getting one over on him. I start to follow the nurse and instinctively I take Paige’s hand, taking her with me. I know I shouldn’t take Paige with me, but I need support. I need someone to lean on and she’s here.
I turn back to look at Mark, I know he wants to say something to me, but he can’t. He can’t cause a scene or the hospital will call security and he will get kicked out.
I turn back around, following the nurse and Paige walks quickly to keep up with me. We walk down the corridor, taking a left and we have to be scanned through different doors to gain access.
It takes us a few minutes, but soon we reach the intensive care unit. We are scanned through the door and taken inside.

“We need you to sanitize your hands, before you can go in” the nurse instructs.

She shows us to some dispensers on the wall, pressing it and using the alcohol hand run, all over her hands. I follow next, doing the same and then Paige.

“I want you to be prepared for what you will see. There are going to be a lot of tubes, cables and wires, attached to your son, but all of them are working to make him better. There will be sounds of machines beeping and alarms, but they are nothing to worry about. If you have any questions, please ask me.”

The more the nurse speaks the more terrified I feel. I’m tired and emotional, I don’t know if I can handle all of this.

“Ready?” she asks.

I reluctantly nod, following her through some more doors. We walk inside, where I hear the noises she was referring to and I see a small incubator, which has machines around it. I quickly take Paige’s hand in mine, needing some frame of comfort.

“This is your son” the nurse smiles.

She walks towards the incubator and I take slow and small steps towards him. I stand beside the incubator, staring through the clear cover, surrounding him. There he lays, my boy. He is tiny, small enough to fit into the palm of my hand, which makes him seem unreal. His skin is red, a hat, which looks like a sock, covering his head. He has tubes and cables stuck all over his body, he seems too small to have so much going on.
I stare down at him, realising he is mine. This baby, fighting for his life is a part of me. He is one half of me and one half of Sienna. I should feel some choking emotion inside, some bond, but I don’t. I feel no connection, I feel like I am staring at someone else’s child, not mine. I don’t feel like a father, I don’t feel an overwhelming sense of love. I just feel nothing. There is no instant feeling of love, like I’ve heard people talk about before. Is there something wrong with me?

“He’s a little fighter. We’re still waiting for tests to come back, about his downs syndrome, so I will let you know when we have them. You can touch him though, if you want to” the nurse offers.

I quickly look at her, before looking down at my shaking hand and back to the baby. I can’t touch him, I might break him if I do. He is too small, too delicate, to touch. I shake my head, answering her silently. She seems to sense my fears though, maybe what I am feeling is clear to see.

“It is okay to touch him, Harry. You can hold his hand, it might help you bond with him. I’m afraid it could be a while, before you can hold him.”

I shake my head again, but more firmly this time. I don’t want to touch him, I’m not ready for that kind of connection with him, not yet. She gives me a small smile, before she turns to Paige.

“Do you want to touch him?” she asks.

I’m alarmed and concerned, when I see Paige nodding her head. Why the fuck would she want to touch my baby? The nurse smiles, taking Paige’s hand and guiding it carefully into the incubator. She lays her fingers gently on my baby’s hand, stroking his skin softly. I am filled with guilt, watching this happen. I should stop it, tell Paige to get off him, but I can’t. I can’t even speak, meaning I can’t find my voice to tell her to stop. I’m just standing beside her, allowing my ex-girlfriend, who I’ve just cheated with, to be the first person to touch my baby. She is the first person, other than medical staff to feel my baby’s skin. It is the ultimate betrayal, something Sienna would never forgive me for. She would literally kill me, if she knew.
The guilt is eating away at me, my body getting tenser. The pressure builds in my head, until it is all too much. I want to scream, but I don’t. I just let go of Paige’s spare hand and I run. I run out of the room, rushing to the locked doors and I smash my fists on them, demanding to leave, now.

Mark’s POV

I am raging, my blood is boiling to degrees that shouldn’t be humanly possible. I clench my fists tightly together, wanting to beat the shit out of someone, out of Harry. What a horrible person he is! I always knew he was trouble, a selfish bastard, even in the early days. I knew from the moment Sienna started dating him that he was going to bring misery to her life. I was right.
All he has done is hurt her, never being able to keep his dick in his pants. He’s the sort of bloke, who gives the rest of us a bad name. We’re all labelled cheats and arseholes because of the way men like him behave. They have no respect for women, none at all.
The blonde girl who’s with him isn’t a patch on Sienna. Why would he cheat on her? Why would he go near anyone else when he has Sienna waiting for him? It doesn’t make any sense to me, none at all. It just seems like he can’t help himself and I doubt he ever will be able too. If he can cheat now, at such a critical point, when she is having his baby, then he will do it again. He will keep doing it, until she ends things. It isn’t the first time he has cheated and it won’t be the last.
I pace up and down the waiting room, thinking about Sienna. I am so worried about her, I can hardly even think straight. What if she doesn’t make it? What if I never get to tell her how I feel? I don’t know how I am meant to hide these feelings anymore. I have spent years hiding the truth, hiding how much she means to me.
I want to tell her it all. I want to tell her that I never knew how strongly I felt, not until I stopped seeing her every day. I want to tell her that I missed her, everything that is her. The annoying habits she has and the bitchy side of her. I even missed the way she would call me every name under the sun, with such passion and then act like she never said them, when she was calm. I always knew she never meant them, even when she screamed them with passion, I knew she didn’t mean it.
I can’t even say that I love her or that I am in love with her. Those words don’t even come close to explaining how I feel about her. The things I feel are indescribable, earth moving and unique. I’ve never felt like this before and I never will again. That’s Sienna though, that’s what she does. She makes you feel things, which you never knew were even possible.
Seriously, I spent months thinking of reasons why I needed to call her, but I kept bottling it. I couldn’t go through with it, not even one time. I knew in my heart that she would never be interested in me, not in a relationship way.
I’ve always just been Mark, her trustworthy security guard. The fun guy, who always just wanted to get pissed, sleep around and take drugs. I was irresponsible back then, stupid even. I never thought of consequences or life after being Sienna’s security guard. I was living the high life and taking advantage of it. I was partying every night, different women by my side and getting through the next day by taking drugs. I knew though, deep down it was never enough. It wasn’t me.
It took me too long to realise it, but I knew I had to stop living like that. I had to grow up and eventually I did. The time away from Sienna I’ve changed, I’ve become a better person and I hope she gets the chance to see that.
The best I can hope for is a friendship because she will never love me. She could never love me, not whilst he is still around. Her heart will always belong with him, even if she knew how I really felt. She only ever slept with me, when it was convenient. It never meant she had feelings for me. I was just her friend, which I will always be. If I’m ever going to have a real chance with her, then I need to get rid of him. I need him to be out of the picture. I need her to fall out of love with him, for good this time.

Sienna’s POV

My eyes sting, burning like fire, when I try to open them. I feel pain in my aching head, but the pain I remember feeling isn’t there anymore. My body just aches, almost like a tight feeling, not the agonising pain from earlier. My throat feels like sandpaper, meaning I can’t speak. It feels like my throat has closed up, like I can’t even swallow my own spit.
I manage to prise my eyes open, squinting as I do. The last thing I remember is being in agonising pan and Mark being pulled away from me, as I screamed for him. There were alarms going off, noises I didn’t understand. There was earth shattering pain and then everything went black. It all went dark and then I can’t remember a thing, until now.
My eyes shut again, I can’t keep them open. I want to get up, get out of here, but I can’t move. My body is too weak to move, too weak for me to get up. I’ve got no strength to call for anyone, or to ask what has happened.
I want to know where my baby is, is he still inside me, or did I give birth to him. I can’t even sit up to look down at my expanding stomach. My body feels numb from the waist down, making me scared that I have lost all movement of my legs. I could be stabbed in each leg repeatedly and I’d feel nothing.
I can’t do anything other than let my eyes close again. I pray in my head, I pray that my baby is safe. I pray that he will be okay and that I will be too.

Harry’s POV

My hand shakes as I scroll through my contact list, searching for the number. I’m crying, sobbing as I do. I’m a complete mess, a pathetic sobbing mess. I really don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to fix things or how to make them all better. I find the number, pressing it and placing the phone to my ear. It starts to ring and I pray she answers. I need her to answer and to tell me how to make this all okay.
The phone keeps ringing and then she answers. She speaks and somehow just hearing her voice calms me slightly.

“Hello” she speaks.

Her tone is sharp, which I can’t blame her for. I shouldn’t have left her so abruptly. I should have been stronger and demanded the time to talk it out. I should have been a man and fixed it. I can’t speak, there is so much to say, but my throat is choked up with emotion.

“Harry, what’s going on?” she asks.

Her voice is softer and filled with concern. I should have known that no matter what she said, she would never have turned her back on me. She didn’t mean everything she said, she will always be there for me, like now.

“M m mum” I stutter through the tears.

I cry so hard down the phone I can hardly breathe, let alone speak. I want to tell her everything that has happened and to tell her how much I need her. I just can’t though, I can’t string a sentence together.

“Okay, listen to me sweetheart, calm down and breathe. You need to take a deep breath in and out” she coaches me.

I listen to her, trying to control my emotions and I breathe in and out heavily. It helps slightly, but not fully. I am still too emotional, tears still streaming down my face.

“S S Sienna, she’s h h had the b b baby.”

I manage to get a sentence out, stuttering and crying my way through it. She understands my jumbled words though. There is a part of me which expects her to tell me she doesn’t care, before putting the phone down on me. The hope inside me though tells me she will be there and she won’t hang up. I’m thankful when she stays on the line, allowing me to speak.

“It’s a a all a….a mess.”

“It’s all going to be okay” she assures me “Where are you?”

“Hospital” I cry.

“Send me the name of the hospital and I’ll set off now. I can be in London in a couple of hours” she says.

“Okay.”

I am filled with relief, realising she is willing to put all the trouble behind us and be here for me. I need her, I need my mum. I need her to hug me and tell me that it’s all going to be okay. I need her to tell me that I’m strong enough to get through this. I want her to love me again, like she did when I was younger. I want her to forgive me, for becoming the horrible man I am today.
We end the call, her telling me to stay calm and that she will be here soon. I send her the details of the hospital, shaking as I do. I walk into the main waiting room, taking a seat with the ordinary people of the world. They all ignore me, they have their own crisis going on, and so they aren’t interested in me. I just stay here, avoiding reality and waiting for my mum.

Mark’s POV

I sit down in the waiting room, lost in my own thoughts. I don’t know how long I have been in here, too long it seems. I’m just waiting, waiting for any news on Sienna and the baby. I wonder who the baby looks like, Sienna or Harry. Will he have her bright captivating blue eyes? Will he have her perfectly shaped nose? Will he have blonde hair?
I hope he looks like Sienna, I hope he inherited her good looks. I would know the answers by now, if Harry had let me see him. He’s selfish, he always has been. I thought he would have come back by now. I thought he would have told me how the baby is doing. He hasn’t been back and I don’t think he will, not now. He’d rather leave me guessing.
I stare around the waiting room, looking at the pictures on the walls. Every hospital seems to have the same pictures, I’m sure they don’t, but perhaps they all have the same theme. They’re all pictures of scenery, like a blue calm lake, or captivating trees. They’re just here to distract you, distract you from the pain and suffering, which this building holds.
I’ve been in this position before, forced to sit in a room just like this, waiting. I’ve sat waiting for news, life changing news. I stood in a room just like this, after my dad’s motorbike accident. I wasn’t as worried back then, not like now. I didn’t know how death felt back then, I didn’t know how much pain it caused.
I remember watching my mum and sister, sat down and crying together. My brother was only a kid, he didn’t understand properly what was going on. I was the strong one, convincing everyone else it was going to be okay because I was sure it was going to be okay. I mean it was my dad, he was invincible, or so I thought.
My dad was my best friend, he taught me everything I knew. He taught me how to drive, buying me my first car, which was a shed, but it was mine. He showed me how to protect myself, making me want to go into the security guard profession. He showed me that I could be the bigger man by walking away from a fight and confrontation. I was a better man, all because of him, but then I lost it. I lost it all and I lost him.
I didn’t know who I was after he died, it felt like I had never known who I was. I went off the rails, partying all night and I was fixated on becoming a ‘machine’. I wanted to be big and muscly, nobody would think the big beefcake had emotions. That was the aim I went for and it worked. I never let anyone love me, I never fell in love, not until Sienna.
That was the worst day of my life, the day I lost my best friend. The doctor came in to the waiting room telling us ‘there was nothing else they could do’. I stood there and I felt every piece of me die, inside I broke apart. My ears where filled with the sounds of sobs and I just stood there, emotionless. I didn’t cry, I never shed a single tear for him, not because I didn’t care. I just couldn’t cry, I couldn’t let everyone see how weak I was. I had to be the strong one and I was.
I closed myself off after that, I was never the same person again. I didn’t express love, not even to my family. I thought I would never feel warmth inside me again, but I did. I slowly fell in love with Sienna, after years of nothing. It happened over a long period of time, I didn’t fall in love with her looks or for her on her good days. I fell in love with her for her bad days because it felt like someone else knew what the darkness felt like. It felt like someone finally understood the darkness inside me and slowly that made me stop hating myself. It made me finally show my family I loved them again.
She doesn’t know that she changed me, but she did. She changed me for the better. I just wish I had realised it all sooner. I wish I had told her how I felt because then maybe things would be different. The lives we are living now could have been different.
The door of the waiting room opens and I expect to see Harry, but a doctor walks in instead. I quickly stand from my seat and he walks towards me, stopping before me.

“How is she?” I quickly ask.

“The blood transfusion was a success and she has reacted well from it. She’s still very tired, but she is awake and recovering. She is drifting in and out of sleep.”

I feel relief wash through me, like a cold breeze on a hot summer’s day. His words make my shoulders drop, the tension in them no longer there. Thank God. She is okay, she is going to be okay.

“Can I see her?” I ask urgently.

“Yes” he nods.

He gives me a light smile, telling me to follow him. He leads me out of the room and I follow him quickly down the corridor. I selfishly don’t want Harry to see me, or to know that she is awake. I don’t want him anywhere near her, not yet.
He leads me through some secured doors, telling me to use the hand sanitizer, which I do. He also makes me put on a hospital gown, covering up my blood stained t-shirt. He then leads me to a private room, knocking gently on the door and then he opens it. I follow him inside and then I see her. I see her laying weakly in the hospital bed. She’s wearing a white hospital gown, bed sheets covering her up to her chest. Her face is pale, her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted.
The doctor smiles at me, leaving me alone, with my real life princess.
I slowly walk to her side, quietly pulling up a chair beside her bed and I sit down on it. I want to touch her, but I resist, not wanting to wake her. I sit quietly, watching her and waiting for her to wake up. I’ll be ready, whenever she is ready.
Ten minutes or so later, her eyes start to slowly flutter open. They are hardly open, narrowed as she slowly turns her head to the side and she looks at me. She manages to give me a weak smile and she carefully reaches for my hand. I take her hand in mine, softly rubbing my thumb over her pale skin.

“Hey you” I speak softly.

She smiles, closing her eyes again, but then she slowly opens them, again.

“Hi” she manages to speak.

“How are you feeling?”

“Bad.”

 I wish I could take her pain away, I would do anything I could to help her. There isn’t much I can do though, other than just being here for her.

“Have you seen him? Is he okay?” she manages to ask.

Her usual soft voice is quiet and raspy. She doesn’t sound like Sienna, not the real Sienna. I don’t know whether she is referring to the baby, or to Harry.

“The baby?” I ask.

She slowly nods, eyes closing again and then she seems to force them open, wanting to hear what I have to say.

“Does he have my eyes?”

“I don’t know” I answer truthfully “I haven’t been able to see him.”

“They won’t let me see him” she tells me.

Why would they not let her see him? She needs to see him, she needs to bond with him.

“What? Why?”

“They said I have to wait until I am strong enough to see him, so I can walk there. They can’t bring him here.”

“Well that means you need to rest, so you get better quicker. When I see him, I’ll come back here and tell you everything about him.”

She smiles lightly, eyes closing and staying closed this time.

“Promise?”

“I promise” I smile, although she can’t see me.

“Does Harry know?” she asks.

“Yes, he came.”

She nods, eyes still closed and lips slightly parted. I take in a deep breath, knowing I am about to cause her upset, with what I am going to tell her. She has a right to know everything, she needs to know everything that is going on

“I need to tell you something.”

Her eyes open again, she watches me and she waits, she waits for the words, which will change everything.