The Girl in the Mirror 2 (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Harry's POV

My eyes fill with tears as I stare at the once white bed sheets. I'm controlled by fear in the first few moments that I stare down at the blood stained sheets, but the fear doesn't stay. The fear slips away the moment I hear her, her selfish pathetic whimpers. How many times do I have to go through this? How many times will I have to live through this?
I thought for a moment that she'd succeeded in joining Freddy in death, dying just hours after him, but I soon realised that wasn't the case. Her selfish hateful pathetic whimpers tell me she's still here and instead I'm dealing with something that I've had to deal with before. This is another one of her failed attempts, just another suicide attempt, which she's inflicted onto me.
She's tried to take her own life, without a second thought for anyone else. She never thinks of the consequences or the after effects of what she's done, but that's Sienna. The same selfish Sienna I've known for all these years, she never changes. She only ever thinks about herself, you'd think I'd be used to it by now, but deep down I know I shouldn't have to get used to it. I shouldn't have to get use to her frail frame of mind and selfish acts.
I'm not even surprised that she's selfish enough to take her own life, even when she knows that I need her. I need her now more than ever, so do my family and our friends. She doesn't consider that though, she doesn't consider my pain or anyone else's. She doesn't even see that I'm going through the same pain as her. She doesn't think that this loss is just as severe for me as it is for her. She's a fucking bitch! A stupid selfish bitch! I can't control the hate I feel inside for her right now, I truly hate her. I really fucking hate her for doing this.
My eyes wander over her body, taking in the destructions she's caused to herself and to the sheets, which will be worth thousands of pounds. She doesn't care, she doesn't care about anything or anyone, but I suppose she never did. She's never cared about anyone else and I see that now, I suppose I always did see it. I think having Freddy blinded me to all of her flaws for a short while.
My eyes roam over the bed and my eyes soak in the razor blade laying used on the bed, snippets of her skin held between the sharp teethed blades. It's clear to see without seeing her arms that she's sawn away at them. I step closer to the bed, hating the smell of cut flesh that fills my confused senses. I can see one of her arms, her skin cut and shredded, meaning her usual tan skin is covered in blood and cuts.
I shake my head, staring up at the ceiling in frustration. There's a horrible part of me that wishes she'd have finished the job off properly this time. I mean it'd be easier to deal with all the misery and pain at once, rather than it being stagnated over a period of time. I hate her for forcing me to deal with the aftermath, I'm the one left to pick up the pieces, like I always have too. I know if I was thinking rationally I wouldn't think like this because realistically I still need her and she needs me. But in this moment, I can't help seeing the worse in her. I can't help hating the fact that this latest 'tragedy' will cement us together for a longer period of time. We can't split up now, I can't leave her in this vulnerable state. If I did everyone would hate me, they'd all think I was a bastard. They wouldn't know that this isn't working, we never work and the longer time goes by the clearer that is to see. I just know I can't imagine us being parted, mainly because the world would loath me if I left her in the midst of our son dying and her pathetic attempt at taking her own life. I'm sick of always being hated and always being the bad guy.
My anger takes over, fury rising through my chest and I quickly grip the ends of the blood stained quilt, dragging it roughly from her careless body. Her full body comes into view, dried blood covers her skin, whilst fresh blood still leaks from some of her wounds. Her cuts are pathetic, they wouldn't cause any serious damage, which tells me this was all for attention. This is just another one of her attention seeking actions. I wish I hadn't bothered coming in, then I wouldn't have to deal with her. I could just leave her in here, alone, where she deserves to be. Sadly, I have found her, meaning I've got to be the one to sort her out and deal with all this shit, again.