The Girl in the Mirror 2 (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Harry’s POV

My jaw clenches as I remain on one knee, taking in Zayn’s words. This cheeky bastard has got some fucking nerve! He’s still here, after all of this time, still trying to ruin things for me and Sienna. Who the fuck does he think he is? Who the fuck is he to tell her that he loves her?
The longer I stay here, knelt on the floor, the more his words register in my head and the more the anger explodes inside me. If this moment was happening anywhere else and if the circumstances where different, I’d have beaten the shit out of him. I’d have dragged him out of here and made sure he learnt his lesson this time. The lesson he clearly hasn’t learnt all the other times he’s tried to come between us. I’d make sure he didn’t come back again, not after this time. He needs to realise she’s mine and she always will be.
The worst part is that I’m not surprised, I’m not surprised that he’s here and declaring his love for her. I know there’s always been something there for him, maybe something there for her too. I know he holds some feelings for her and knowing Sienna it’s more of a pity thing. She feels sorry for him, so she’s encouraged him over the years. That was before she realised she couldn’t live without me. That was before she realised nobody could ever compare to me and what we have. That was before I confirmed that I felt the same as she does.
I stare at him and I can see the adoration in his eyes, when he looks at her. I know that look, I see it every time she looks at me. The way she feels about him is the way she feels about me, not him and he needs to accept that. He needs to let this pathetic fantasy go and realise he isn’t going to get his ending with her because her ending is made for me.
The irritating thing is that I’m sure deep down he’s doing this just to piss me off. He isn’t interested in her, not my damaged and broken girl. How can he be? He‘s doing this, declaring his love for her because of Perrie. He’s doing this because he still blames me for what happened to them, after all of this time. He blames me for them splitting up. I still think for him the whole Sienna thing started off with a way to get back at me, but for him it all ended up escalating. His feelings escalated out of his control. I know how it feels and how quickly feelings can escalate. I know how easy it is to fall in love with her, even when you do all you can to fight it. I learnt in the end that you can’t fight it, loving her is inevitable and he’s probably learnt that too.
He’ll have eventually realised it’s impossible to not love her. The thing is he could never love her, not in the same way as I do. I’ve loved her since I was eighteen, before I even knew who I was and what life had in store. I’ve spent years loving her and no matter what I did, I could never switch that love off. I tried to switch it off, but I couldn’t and that’s why I’m still here today.
I’m the first to admit I’ve made some bad decisions, some fucked up mistakes, but no matter what I did, I was always led back to her. We were both drawn back to each other, no matter what got in our way. I’ve never been able to control loving her and he should see that. He should realise I will fight to the end to be with her, I’ll do anything to be with her and I mean anything.
I turn away from Zayn, staring at Sienna and I take in her confused face. I don’t know why she’s even pretending to think about this. She already knows it’s me, it’s always been me and it always will be. I know I’ve given her some doubt though by walking away. We wouldn’t even be here now if I hadn’t walked away. I wouldn’t have let Zayn in and he’d have gone, back to his lonely life, where he belongs. His words and declaration wouldn’t have been heard and if they had, she wouldn’t have even let them register with her. She’d have dismissed him, before he’d even begun.
Her heart has always belonged with me, but I’ve always messed things up. I don’t even know what I was thinking when I walked away, I clearly wasn’t thinking. I didn’t even walk away properly, not really. I only got to the end of the street, before I realised I’d made a mistake. I just kept thinking of life without her, realising it’d be pointless. I couldn’t even picture my life without her. I’ve always wanted her and I always will.
I kept walking, realising I couldn’t just go back, not without making some kind of gesture. I ended up roaming around London, searching for an engagement ring. I even ended up in the same shop I went to with Paige, when we got engaged. The ring I had already paid for and sent off to be re-sized for Paige was there waiting for me. It was ready for me to take and I considered selfishly using it for Sienna. I didn’t want to waste the ring, but I knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t do that to Sienna and the ring didn’t suit her. It wasn’t her style, it wasn’t sophisticated enough. That ring was already tainted, made for a love that didn’t compare to ours. My Sienna deserved more than that, so I bought her the most unique ring they had. The pink diamond was unique, like her.
I drag myself up off my knee and up off the floor. I stand up, watching Sienna and waiting for her to confirm that she wants to be with me. She still seems unsure, so I know I need to say something, which will make her believe in me and us again. I don’t know what to say though, I don’t know what words she wants to hear. I just need to prove to her somehow that all these years we’ve loved each other, weren’t wasted.

“Sienna, I’ve loved you since I was eighteen. I gave my heart to you then and you still have it. My heart belongs to you, it always has and it always will. I know it’s hard to admit it, but deep down you know yours belongs to me too.”

I speak openly and honestly, which isn’t easy for me. I want her to see that I love her and I always have. I just have a stupid way of showing it, something similar to the way she was in the beginning. We’ve both made mistakes and we’ve both learnt from them. I just need her to realise I’ve changed, I really have and it’s for good this time.

Zayn’s POV

The tension grows with every passing second and soon it hits its peak, feeling like it can’t get any worse. All four of us are uncomfortable, none of us enjoying this moment. I don’t know how we managed to get here or how I ended up spilling my heart out to her, someone I’m not meant to care about. I tried to keep it all in, I really did, but I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t stop myself from revealing my true feelings.
I’ve done everything I could to hide how I feel and push the feelings away. I managed it, I always manage when she isn’t around, but it all changes when I see her. The words were already out there, before I had a chance to think about it. I almost feel stupid for telling her how I feel, like it should still be kept a secret.
This was the wrong time, the wrong time to tell her how I felt. She has enough going on without me dropping this on top of it. I should have told her under different circumstances. I just couldn’t help it, not when I saw him. The moment I saw that arsehole get that ring out, I knew I couldn’t stand back and do nothing. I can’t stand the thought of her forgiving him, not after everything that he’s done. She doesn’t deserve to be treated the way he treats her, all he ever does is hurt her. I just want to stop it, stop him from ever hurting her again. He keeps hurting her and somehow he manages to make it all okay.
It isn’t fair, life isn’t fair. He’s done so much shit over the years, horrible things and still Sienna forgives him. I’ve made a few stupid mistakes and Perrie wouldn’t even consider forgiving me. He gets away with it all and I get punished for every stupid thing I’ve ever done. I hate him, I fucking hate him. I don’t just hate him for the way he gets away with everything and for the way he treats Sienna, but for all the endless shit he’s done too. He’s put everyone through endless crap, caused fights and arguments.
He was the one who put the final nail in the coffin for me and Perrie. I know we’d have made things work in the end, if he hasn’t tarnished everything at Christmas. She’d have forgotten the cheating, if he hadn’t brought it up and made her believe that everyone was laughing at her behind her back. It all made her realise that she couldn’t forgive me, no matter what I said or how much I begged.
All I want, all I’ve wanted is to just be happy. I just want someone to love me and care about. I want someone to ask if I’m okay and ask why I never smile. I want Sienna to be that person, the one I come home too. She’s special, there’s just something about her. I never realised though she’d become this special to me. I never knew she’d be my last thought at night and my first thought in the morning. I get this warm feeling inside when I’m near her, I haven’t had this feeling in a long time. She makes my smile, by just being in the same room as me.
She stares at me, which makes me appreciate her being here and being this close to me. It’s been so hard not seeing her, I was used to seeing her nearly every day and then nothing. I’ve thought about her and the baby, thinking that we could be a family. I can’t help believing this baby in mine, he has to be mine. I have this gut feeling, which tells me he is. If he is mine, then I refuse to let someone like Harry raise him. He can’t look after himself, let alone a child, so I’ll step in. I’ll take his place and complete the family Sienna and I both deserve.
I listen to Harry spiel off more shit, about how he’s loved her since he was eighteen. He says her heart belongs to him. He should’ve taken better care of it, he should’ve cherished her heart, like I would have. He loves himself, more than he ever could love her. We wouldn’t be stood here now, waiting, not if she truly believed in that love. It’s the same for me though, I wouldn’t be stood here, if I didn’t believe in the love I have for her.  
She stares at him, biting her bottom lip. I know I’ve got to say something, help make her see that I’m the right one for her. I can’t go out without putting up a proper fight.

“Sienna, I love you, but this isn’t just about love. We both know that Harry loved you first, but I never stopped. I didn’t stop loving you, even when things got rough, he did. I was your friend through everything and I’ve always seen the best in you. I’m not just in this for the easy days, I’m in this for the long haul. I don’t just want to love you, I want to be your best friend. I want to know what makes you happy, so I can spend forever making you happy.”

I speak my words, hoping they will make the difference and outshine Harry’s. I stare at her, watching her look even more confused than before. She still looks beautiful to me, even with sleep in her eyes and the hospital gown on. She will always be beautiful to me. I’ve done all I can, so I just wait and pray she wants me.
 
Sienna’s POV

My head pounds, literally throbbing. I stare between the two of them, Zayn and Harry. They both stare back at me, waiting and wanting my answer. They’ve both meant so many different things to me in the time that I’ve known them, which makes my decision harder to make.
If this was Harry and any other person, I wouldn’t even be thinking about my decision. I wouldn’t keep them waiting a single second, but this isn’t just anybody else. This is Zayn, kind and sweet Zayn. The guy who’s been my friend through everything, even though I’ve hurt him countless times. I’ve hurt him in the same ways as Harry has hurt me. I’m literally the Harry to his Sienna. I’m the never ending pain and hurt in his heart. I’m the one who’s ruined his life. I’m the one who started to unravel him and Perrie. That’s why I can’t just disregard him and ignore how he feels.
I don’t know what to do, I honestly don’t. I feel like I’ve encouraged Zayn, allowing him to come in here and to pour his heart out to me, but I can’t have, not really. I haven’t seen him in so long, but I still feel like I’m to blame for this. All the life events we shared together have led him here, in this room. This is what happens when you sleep with someone, without thinking of the repercussions. I realise now that all actions have repercussions, this one’s mine.
I wish I didn’t have to hurt someone, including myself. I know it was never just friendship with Zayn, there was always something more between us, which has made me go back to him for comfort over the years. Whenever I’m near him there’s a connection and I always end up in his bed. I’m drawn to him sexually. There’s something about us in those terms that just fits.
Zayn has always wanted the best for me and I always have for him, even though I haven’t always shown it. I’ve always cared about him, not loved, but I know I feel something deeper than friendship. I could learn to love him, not in the same league as Harry, but then again I’ll never love another like I’ve loved Harry.
I know a life with Zayn would be happy and secure. He’d never hurt me, not like he hurt Perrie. He’s learnt his lesson and learnt from the mistake he made with her, so he’d never risk hurting me like he did with her. He’d appreciate every moment we have, realising how easily it can be taken away.
My gaze turns to Harry and I see his eyes are filled with a sense of confidence. He’s convinced that I’m going to pick him because that’s what I always do. I always end up picking him, I always have picked him. I never even had to think about it before, but that was before the next lot of hurt. I’ve got to think about it this time because he’s hurt me again. He’s broken my heart, when he swore he never would, not this time around.
He’s taken my love for granted again and my heart. He never appreciates me and everything I’ve done for him. He doesn’t appreciate all the hours I sit listening to his problems or how I’ve been beside him through everything. I’ve supported him through all of the hard decisions he’s needed to make. I’ve never even considered walking away from him. He doesn’t see how easily I forgive him for every shit thing he’s ever done to me. That’s what love does though, it breaks you down and makes you weak. It makes you unable to function, without the other.
My weakness is that I love him, I’ve always loved him. He has helped carve me into the person I am today. I didn’t know how to love or how to be loved, not until I met him. I didn’t even know who I was until I met him and I fell in love with him. I love him more than I ever thought I was able to love another. That’s why it’s so hard to turn my back on him and walk away. All of it is the reason why I can’t let him go and the reason why I’ve never been able to. Everyone has their limits though, even I and I just keep letting him push those limits further and further. He’s pushed me to a point now, where I can’t be pushed any further.
I know I’m not innocent in all of this, I never have been, but I’ve not done half the stuff he has. I’ve not broken him or his heart anywhere near as much as he’s broken mine. I do love him, but I don’t think he loves me. He doesn’t love me like I need him to love me. I think Zayn loves me with everything he has, but I don’t think I can love him how I love Harry. I might learn to love him like that one day, I might even love him more than I love Harry. This is it, I can’t make them wait any longer. I need to choose between them, I need to decide who I want.

“I’m so sorry.”

I know the words are meaningless, not for me, but for him they are. He doesn’t care if I’m sorry, sorry can’t magically make everything okay. It can’t make him feel better, not right now. I watch his face fall into misery, as I snatch away that bit of light he desperately needed.
I expect him to scream at me and call me a bitch, like I deserve, but he doesn’t. He simply nods, accepting my words and showing he understands my decision. His actions prove what I already knew, that he’s a good man. Zayn is a decent guy, one of the best, but I know me and him wouldn’t be fair on him. It wouldn’t be right, promising him a love, which I could never fulfil or live up to. I could never fully give him my heart, when it’s always been with another, with Harry.
I turn my attention to Harry, whose smiling back at me, which terrifies me. It terrifies me that I’m not sure if that smile is because I’ve chosen him or because he’s got one up on Zayn. I want to believe it’s because of me, I really do. I’m so scared, scared that I’ve made another mistake in allowing Harry to keep a firm grip on my heart. What am I meant to do though? I love him and all I want is to have a family with him. I’ve always wanted a family with him.
I look back at a broken Zayn, needing to explain myself slightly. I need him to still care about me and not hate me. I can’t handle the thought of him hating me, even though I deserve it.

“I had to go with my heart, you understand don’t you?” I stupidly ask him.

I don’t know why I’m so desperate for some clarity and reassurance from Zayn. I feel like I need his approval, that I need him still. He nods gently, before he allows a small smile to appear on his lips, which doesn’t match his eyes. I can tell his smile is a lie. He’s hurt, really hurt and right now he’s on the brink of crying. He’s just trying to keep it together because of Harry. He doesn’t want to give Harry any further satisfaction. I didn’t want to hurt him, I’ve never wanted to hurt him.

“I know you have to do what you think is right by your heart, but your heart isn’t always right. You don’t always have to listen to it” he tells me.

I know he’s right, but the feeling in my chest is too strong to ignore. I could be making the biggest mistake of my life, but my heart is telling me it’s the right thing to do. It feels right, being with Harry feels right. My head isn’t convinced, it’s reluctant to agree with my heart. My head has always been the logical part of me, but my heart has always overruled it.

“I love you, Sienna. We both know that nothing else matters, we’re all that should matter” Harry speaks, trying to over talk Zayn and block him out.

Harry moves quickly to my side and he takes my hand, without me resisting. He slips the engagement ring onto my engagement finger, before I have chance to protest. I stare at the ring, seeing how beautiful it is and it makes me glad I didn’t resist him. It’s everything I could wish for, but I know this moment is cruel. We shouldn’t be doing this, not in front of Zayn, after everything that’s happened.
I quickly pull my hand away from him and Harry stares back at me confused. His face etches into a frown and his brow creases together. He doesn’t get it, he doesn’t get that this moment is cruel. That’s Harry though, he doesn’t think of other people’s feelings and how easily things can hurt them. He only thinks about his own heart, nobody else’s.

“Harry, this is the last chance I’ll ever give you” I tell him firmly “I mean it Harry!”

He nods, confirming he understands and then he tries to lean in to kiss me. I quickly move away from him, knowing this isn’t the time to kiss and make up. I refuse to do this in front of Zayn.

“I want a DNA test” Zayn tells me.

I turn to face him and Harry’s eyes burn into him too. His face is so serious and he stares back at me. I can tell he isn’t going to back down, not now. Niall looks away, wanting to disappear away from this drama. I want to disappear from it too. My heart races as I think about a DNA test. Why is this happening?

“Go fuck yourself, Malik!” Harry snaps.

The pair of them glare at each other, in a midst of clenched teeth and tightened fists. This is all going to escalate and then blow up. I can’t deal with all of this, not now.

“Fuck off Harry! I’ve every right to know if the baby’s mine or not. I slept with her too, so I could be his dad, just as much as you could be. I won’t go away until I know for sure he isn’t mine!” Zayn states.

I feel sick knowing he’s right. Zayn could be the father and I’ve actually got no idea, who really is the father. I’ve kept telling myself Harry was the dad, making myself believe he was. I know I told Harry he was the father, but I didn’t have any other choice. I had to do it, I had to lie, even though I didn’t want too. If I hadn’t told Harry he was the father, then he’d have left me. I couldn’t let him leave me not again, I had to make him stay and this was the only way.
There was no way of really knowing who the father was because the dates were all so close. There was no way that I could have really known, so I went with the best option. I went with the one that worked best for me and gave me the happy ending I needed.
My heart races furiously and my palms sweat, thinking about Harry not being the father. What will he do if Freddy isn’t his? I didn’t want to lie, I had to lie, which is completely different. If I hadn’t lied then Harry wouldn’t have given me another chance. It would’ve meant neither of us would be happy and I needed to be happy.

“Listen! I’m his dad! He’s mine, not yours!” he snaps.

“Fine, if he’s yours then a simple DNA test will confirm that. I’ll know for sure then and you’ll never have to see me again” Zayn claims.

The thought of not seeing Zayn again makes my stomach lunge and my chest hurt. Suddenly, it feels like a weight is crushing down on my heart. I don’t know why I’m so bothered, it’s not like Zayn and I are close anymore. I don’t get to see him anymore and this would be the best solution in the long run. It still hurts though, it always will.

“I swear to fucking God! I should smash you into next week!” Harry snarls.

Zayn simply rolls his eyes at Harry and his aggressive words. He acts like he’s bored of hearing them and they have no impact on him at all. He’s probably heard Harry speak to him like that a million times before. We’ve all heard him speak to people like that before.

“If I had a pound for every time you swore at me or threatened me my bank balance would be double the ludicrous amount already in it” Zayn smirks.

A small smile plays on Niall’s lips and if I didn’t feel sick to the pit of my stomach I’d laugh too. Harry throws daggers at him with his burning gaze.

“Well I’d have even more than you if I had a pound for every time you tried to steal my girl and failed” Harry smirks back.

Zayn lips tighten together, showing Harry’s hit a nerve, so I decide to intervene. My head is aching and I can’t stand here letting them rip into each other any further. They need to stop and I need to face the music.

“Both of you just stop it! I don’t need you two arguing. Let’s just do the DNA test, so we can get this over and done with” I sigh.

“Yes, I agree” Zayn says.

Harry sighs and reluctantly nods. I can tell he doesn’t want a DNA test, but we have to do this. I can’t help wondering if deep down Harry has doubts that Freddy is his. He probably doesn’t want a DNA because he doesn’t want to face the truth. I don’t want to deal with it either, but this isn’t just going to go away. I want it to go away, but Zayn won’t go, not yet. He’ll only go when he gets the answers he needs and I’ve got to give them to him. I’ve got to find out the answers for them and me.

***

I stand back watching as the doctor carefully uses a cotton bud and swabs the inside of Harry’s mouth. Harry stands with his mouth open, looking irritated that he has to go through with this. The doctor places the swab in a tube and then he seals it. He then uses a different swab for Zayn’s mouth, following the same process as he just did with Harry. He places Zayn’s cotton bud in a different tube, sealing that and then he writes on them, so neither get mixed up.
The doctor then moves over to Freddy’s incubator, following the same process with him. I feel tense and on edge, knowing the results of this could change everything. I don’t want things to change again, I just want to get use to things for once. I want to make things better and to be happy. I want to be happy with Harry.

“We’re all done” Doctor Chance says.

He smiles as he fixes the lid on Freddy’s sample and he holds all three tubes in his hands. I give him a thankful smile, appreciating his attentiveness to our situation.

“Is there any way to get the results fast-tracked?” Zayn asks “It doesn’t matter about the costs.”

I’m glad he’s said it because I was going to ask the same. I just want to get this all over with, as soon as possible. I don’t want this anxiety hanging over me, I just want to feel normal again. I just want to know what our future will be, even though the results could be catastrophic.

“Of course” Doctor Chance advises “It’ll still take about twelve hours for the results to come back, but I’ll do all I can to rush the results through.”

“Thank you” I smile.

The doctor leaves the room, taking the samples with him and we’re all left alone again. I stare around uncomfortably. This is the most awkward situation I’ve ever been involved in. The tension could be cut with a knife. I’m thankful that Harry called Anne and stopped her from coming back here, I couldn’t face her judgement too.

“Okay, we’ll call you when we get the results back” Harry tells Zayn firmly.

It’s clear that Harry wants Zayn and Niall to go, so do I. I’d love Niall to stay, but I need time alone with Harry. I need to tell him there’s a chance he isn’t the father, I need to prepare him for that possibility. Zayn starts to laugh, making the atmosphere turn even icier, which I didn’t think was possible. I feel nervous and I’m tittering on the edge.

“Do you seriously think I’m just going to go?” he asks.

I bite down on my bottom lip, ready for this to explode into another argument. Why can’t he just go and let us call him with the results? It’s almost like he’s enjoying the drama.

“I’m not missing a single second of being here with him. I can’t risk it, not if he’s mine. I want to spend every second I can with him because we don’t know how long we’ll have him here for. If I go you could always lie to me and say he isn’t mine. How am I meant believe that you’ll tell me the truth about the results? You’d do anything to keep me away and stop me from being in their lives” he claims.

I’d never do something like that, Harry might, but I wouldn’t. I want Freddy to know who his father is and the right name to be on his birth certificate. It would be so much easier if I could lie though, if I could just tell Harry he was the father and forget all about the DNA results. I can’t keep lying though, that’s the reason why we’re in this mess now. If I hadn’t lied then we would’ve dealt with this sooner, we wouldn’t be having this conversation now. I’d probably be stood here alone though, dealing with this by myself.

“You’re like a bad fucking smell! I can’t get rid of you, you’re always lingering!” Harry snaps.

I don’t know why Zayn has this huge negative affect on Harry, but he always has. He manages to agitate and irritate him by just speaking. Harrys always on edge when he’s around, which makes me on edge too. Zayn just knows how to push Harry’s buttons and Harry can’t control his temper around him. This is the shit we have to put up with when they’re together. How did they manage to be in the same band for so long?

“Well you need to get use to me being around because if he’s mine, then I’ll be around every day. I’ll be here every single day, until he takes his last breath!”

“Well it’s a good job he isn’t yours and soon we’ll have proof of that and then you can fuck off out of our lives” Harry growls.

The pair of them keep bickering, arguing back and forth. I try my best to ignore them, standing beside Niall and I take his hand in mine. He doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t need to. He makes me feel like everything will be okay by just being beside me. It has to all be okay.

***

The hours pass by and the arguing thankfully stops, silence filling the room. The hospital have been so good to us, allowing everyone to stay and ensuring we’re all comfortable. There’s only meant to be me and the father here, but my status has allowed all three of them to stay.
We all sit on chairs, all facing Freddy’s incubator. The chairs are stiff and uncomfortable, making it hard to get comfortable. Niall is asleep beside me with his head resting on my shoulder and he snores lightly. Harry and Zayn are both awake and seem to be on edge, like I am. We’ve all got too much going on in our heads to even think about sleeping.
Zayn’s leg shakes and I stare at it, fixated on the movement. I’m desperate for the answers, hoping when I get them this sick feeling inside will disappear.
The door opens and I turn, taking my attention away from Zayn’s leg. Doctor Chance walks inside the room and he holds an envelope in his hand. I imagine the results are inside there, confirming who the father is.

“I need to do a quick examination, could everyone wait outside?” he asks “Sienna you can stay.”

I nod and I gently shake Niall, waking him up. He sits up, rubbing his eyes and he stands up, following Zayn and Harry out of the room. They leave and just I and Doctor Chance remain. I stand watching him, making sure I’m out of his way, whilst he checks over Freddy. I’ve got a small glimmer of hope inside me, which is hoping this his condition has improved again.
Doctor Chance turns to me and he holds Freddy’s clipboard in his hands, with all of his notes on it.

“The good news is the infection is clearing up, which is great news” he smiles “He’s got a long way to go, but he’s getting there.”

My heart flutters with happiness hearing him say those words. I’d cry with utter relief if there wasn’t still some fear inside me. I don’t want to jinx this because it all seems too good to be true.

“He’s strong like his mother. He’s a fighter” he smiles.

“Thank you. Are his chances good?” I ask.

There’s a realistic part of me, which needs answers. I’ve been let down to many times in my life to rely on miracles. I’d rather be prepared for something bad to happen, then it come out of nowhere.

“He’s still got a long way to go, so it’s too soon to say. He’s doing much better that we ever though he would.”

I nod, smiling lightly at his words. He hasn’t told me exactly what I wanted to hear, but it’s so much more than I ever anticipated. I didn’t think he’d still be here now, let alone getting slightly better.

“I’ve got the DNA test results” he says, lifting the envelope up.

My heart races as I stare at the envelope and I take a deep breath, preparing myself for the results. The truth is finally here and I’m not sure if I’m ready for it or not.

“Do you want to get them back in, so we can open them?” he asks.

I nod, dragging my heavy body to the door, ready to get them back in. I open the door, where the three of them wait, lingering in the corridor.

“He’s ready, he’s got the results” I tell them.

I feel like I’m going to be sick, my hands shaking in fear. They all follow me back inside and we stand before Doctor Chance, ready for the results. Harry stands by my side, taking my hand in his and we prepare ourselves for the news. I turn to Harry and he stands confidently, not realising that Liam or Zayn could be the father. My world could come crashing down any second now and I’m not ready for it. I’m not ready for any of this.