The Girl in the Mirror 2 (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Harry’s POV

The doctor leaves the room, leaving us alone. I just stand here, staring down at my girl, who cries laying on the bed near me. I don’t say a word, not a single thing. I don’t really do anything, I don’t cry like she does. I just stand here watching her, watching my Sienna. I have to stand here, watching her completely fall apart, before my very eyes.
She seems to break more with every sob, which she cries. I don’t attempt to comfort her or to check if she’s okay. I just stand here, with my hands in my jean pockets, not knowing what to do. I keep rocking back and forth on the heel of my shoes, trying to distract myself from the nightmare I’m living. I do want to say something to her, I don’t want to just stand here mute, but there doesn’t seem to be any right words. I want to say something meaningful, which will give her some light. What can I say to make it all better for her?
She covers her weeping blue eyes, with her hands and she cries heavily. Her red lips are parted, crying sounds leaving her mouth and it hurts hearing those all too familiar sobs. I’ve heard her cry like this too many times before. I’ve been the one to make her cry like this, way too many times before. I’ve done it so many times now, I’ve lost count. She doesn’t deserve to keep crying like this, she deserves to finally be happy. I should be able to make her happy, I should be able to ease her pain. I never know how to though, I never seem to make things better.
I don’t want her to cry anymore and I don’t want to cry either. We both always cry too much when we’re back together. I always think that whenever she cries this painfully, like today that it’s the worst I’ve ever heard her cry. I always think that nobody has cried in this much pain before, each time she cries seems to be worse than the time before.
Everything feels different today though, her cries feel different. This isn’t the hardest I’ve ever heard her cry, but it’s not because she isn’t any less hurt, than before. This moment now is hurting her more than anything ever has hurt her before. The reason she cries less this time is because she’s giving up, she’s completely giving up. She’s learnt now that tears don’t change anything. She knows tears don’t make things better or change what’s going to happen. The shit things are still going to happen, no matter how sad or upset she gets. Her tears don’t mean anything, they never have and they never will.
I finally build up the strength to move closer to her and attempt to comfort her. I need to show her I care, I need her to know that I’m here. I need to be a decent person for once. I place my hand on her shoulder and I try to turn her around to face me, so I can hug her. She quickly pushes me away though, refusing to accept my comfort and love.

“No! Don’t, don’t touch me. Just leave me alone, please leave me alone.”

I quickly step away from her, giving her the space she clearly wants. I don’t want to smother her and upset her more. I step back, still watching her, waiting for her to either calm down or for her to eventually want my comfort. I’m not mad that she doesn’t want me to touch her, I understand. I get that she needs space and she wants to deal with all of this in her own way.
She manages to calm herself down slightly, her heavy sobs start to subside and she starts trying to regain her steady breathing.
She finally looks at me, her eyes are bloodshot and swollen underneath. She looks ill, really ill and she looks broken. It terrifies me that this time, I won’t be able to fix her or even get close to fixing her. I’ve always made things better before, but I don’t know how to do that this time.

“Will you find out when I can see him?” she asks me “I want to spend as much time with him as I can, before he….”

Her words trail off, as she starts to cry again. She can’t bring herself to finish that sentence, she can’t say the fatal words that he’s going to die. I nod gently at her and she turns away from me, crying loudly again. I feel like she’s never going to be able to stop crying.
I quickly leave the room, without another word spoken. There’s this selfish part of me, which is relieved to get away from her, even if it’s just for a few minutes. I’m relieved to be freed from this situation and the seriousness for a short period of time. I’m not good to anyone, especially Sienna in situations like this. I use to be good in a crisis, but not now. I always say the wrong thing and do something wrong.  
I run my hands through my messy hair, pushing it out of my face. I take a moment outside the room, just appreciating the silence, but I can still hear her. I can still hear her sobs, through the closed door, which makes me quickly walk away. I quickly walk down the corridor, needing to get away from her cries and needing to find a nurse.
I hate that I don’t feel the same amount of emotion as Sienna does about all of this. I should feel something similar to what she does, but I don’t. It just feels like none of it is real, it’s like it’s all happening to someone else.
I believe now Sienna should have stuck with Liam, even he could have handled this better than me. He’d have been able to give her the physical and emotional support she needs. I can’t give her either of them, I can’t even support myself. I can’t handle supporting her too.
I can’t handle this, I can’t handle having a baby, let alone having to deal with him dying. It’s not that I’m a bad person and that I don’t care, I do care. I just haven’t come to terms with everything that’s happening yet. I will soon though, I’ll have to get used to it.
I walk down the corridor, reaching the front desks, where a nurse sits. She stares at her computer screen, not even noticing me. She does though, when I clear my throat to get her attention and she looks up, giving me an apologetic smile.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“Erm yes, I just need to know when my partner can see our son. He’s in the intensive care unit.”

“We’ve got someone getting Sienna a wheelchair as we speak, so they’ll be with you shortly” she advises.

“Okay, thanks.”

I turn around, heading back down the corridor, back to Sienna’s suite. I didn’t even have to say who my partner was, the nurse already knew. I bet they’ve all been gossiping about us, about Sienna. This will probably be the most exciting thing the nurses have ever had happen here. They’ve got two big stars in their hospital at the same time, facing a devastating situation. They’ll love talking about it over a cup of tea and biscuits. I wonder if any of them have noticed how detached I am from everything, I bet they have.
I finally reach Sienna’s room and I take a deep breath, before opening the door. I find her talking on the phone, when my eyes reach her and I see she’s still crying. Who’s she talking to?

“Thank you, Mark” she says emotionally.

I let the door close behind me and she briefly looks at me. My heart races and my blood runs cold, worrying what Mark has said to her. What if he tells her about the whole Paige thing? Surely, he isn’t that cruel or stupid. That’s the last thing she needs to hear now. I know he’ll tell her eventually, but it’ll be easier to deal with then. It’ll be easier to make her forgive me then, when her emotions aren’t running as high. She’ll need me more, when the baby has gone.

“He’s here now” she tells him.

My body tenses up, knowing they’re talking about me and before I know what I’m doing, I have her phone in my hand. I can’t risk it, I can’t risk him telling her. My body reacts, before my brain functions. I swing my arm back and I throw her phone with giant force, against the wall. It smashes against the wall, with a loud thud and then it hits the floor. Her phone breaks into pieces, laying broken at the opposite side of the room.

“What the hell are you doing?” she asks, outraged.

Her face is a picture of shock and anger. She doesn’t know what I’m doing, neither do I. She’s in the midst of turmoil and I suppose I am too. Why do I keep doing all of this shit? Why do I never think of her? I keep making everything worse and I can’t help myself. I can’t stop myself from causing her more upset.

“I don’t want you speaking to him” I say firmly.

I need her to cut him off, cut him out of her life, so he can’t tell her what I did. If she doesn’t see him or speak to him, then he can’t tell her what happened. Perhaps, she’ll never have to find out then and I can hide what happened, forever.
She stares at me in complete disbelief because here I am, making what she thinks are petty demands. I’m demanding for her not to speak to someone who was there for her, when I wasn’t. I was too busy fucking someone else, whilst Mark was being her fucking hero. I know I’m a shit person, but what else can I do. I’ve already done the damage and I can’t create anymore by her finding out the truth.

“What? Why?” she asks confused.

Her brow is creased together, making her look old. She looks like she has aged thirty years, since we first got together. She isn’t the fresh faced girl I met all those years ago.

“He wants to fuck you, I’m not fucking having it!”

I do honestly believe that he wants to fuck her, but I’m not concerned by him. I know she’d never cheat on me, she isn’t like that, not anymore. I just need a reason, anything to cover up the real reason why I just smashed her phone against the wall. This is the only thing I can think of, which I know she’ll think I believe. She knows how jealous I can be.

“Are you serious?” she asks in disbelief.

Sadly, I am being serious. I’m being serious and I know it’s going to piss her off, but at least she isn’t crying anymore.

“Yes, I’m serious.”

She holds her face in her hands, rubbing her face roughly, like she is trying to come to terms with my words. Suddenly, she moves her hands and then she looks right at me, eyes blazing with fury. She’s about to lose it with me and I can’t blame her.

“Do you really think I need this right now? That I need your stupid fucking jealousy getting in the way?  Do you even realise how hard all of this is for me?”

I scratch my head, feeling like a bigger dick, than I did before. I didn’t even think that was possible, I didn’t think I could feel any more of an idiot, but I was wrong. I’m always wrong.

“This was my only chance, my one chance to have a baby and to be a mother. I was meant to get this right and change my life around. I was meant to become a better person for the sake of us and our baby. I’ve just been told he’s going to be taken away from me and you think that this is a good time to let your ego get in the way? Just stop and for once think about someone else. Stop being a selfish prick and for once in your fucking life, put me first!”

Her harsh words mute me, making me not know what to say. I wish she knew I was putting her first, I’m doing this for her. I’m just trying to protect her, I’m trying to make things easier for her.
There’s a knock on the door, which drags us away from starting a blazing row. I’m relieved when the door opens and a nurse smiles at us, pushing a wheelchair inside. I bet she heard us fighting and I bet she thinks it’s lucky our baby is going to die. We shouldn’t have had a baby and maybe in the long run, he dying is the best thing that could happen for us.

“Are you ready, Sienna? We’re ready for you” the nurse advises.

“Yes, thank you.”

Sienna keeps her eyes fixed on the nurse and I stand here, wanting this all to be over, as quickly as possible.

Sienna’s POV

The nurses pushes the wheelchair I’m sat in down the corridor. She talks to me about general things, but I’m not listening. I can’t focus on anything other than seeing my baby. I can’t even think about all this stupid stuff with Harry, I have bigger things to focus on. We reach a set of doors and she uses the passes around her neck to buzz us in and Harry holds the door open for us. I refuse to look at him, even when the nurse thanks him. 
She pushes me down another corridor, until we reach another set of doors. I start to grow impatient with all of the doors. I think this is it now, I think this is the last door and the only thing stopping me from reaching my baby.

“Sienna” the nurse says.

She steps beside me, bending down, so we are eye to eye. She places her hand caringly on top of mine, which I allow.

“I need to prepare you, before you see your baby. There’s a lot of things going on in there, helping him stay alive. There’s a lot of wires and tubes connected to him, which are helping him breathe and giving him the medication he needs. There are a lot of machines, which will be making noises, but they’re nothing to worry about. If you have any questions, no matter how silly they seem, please ask me.”

I nod, showing her I understand. She gives me a weak smile, standing back up and she pushes my wheelchair over to the hand sanitizer dispenser, on the wall beside the door. We both use some and so does Harry, rubbing it into our hands.

“Are you ready?” the nurse asks.

“Yes.”

I’m ready, I’m more than ready. She nods to Harry, who pushes open the door and he holds it open, as we’re pushed inside. The machines startle me, but I remember the nurse’s words and I relax slightly. I’m pushed towards an incubator in the middle of the room and as I get nearer, that’s when I see him. I get to see the first glimpse of my boy, my Freddy. My heart swells and my eyes fill with tears, as I finally get to meet my precious boy.
I take in all of him, his small frail body. His skin, which is red and dry. His eyes are closed and he has small tuffs of dark coloured hair on his head. He’s perfect, completely perfect.
His body is covered in wires and tubes, like the nurse warned me. His body looks so tiny and fragile, so small that he doesn’t even look real. He looks like a child’s doll, not a baby. I get a sob caught in my throat and I choke out more tears. How am I going to get through this? How is it fair that he is being taken away from me already?
The nurse pushes me closer to the incubator and she shows me where I can feed my hand though to touch him. She helps me place my hand inside and it allows me to touch him. I carefully glide my fingers down his tiny arm, feeling his skin. I reach his hand and I place my finger inside the palm of his tiny hand. I feel a connection, an instant connection, which manages to ease some of the pain inside of me.
I stare at him, memorising his tiny face and imprinting it in my mind, so I never forget it. I never want to forget him or the way he looked. I never want to forget this moment, the moment I felt like a mother.
I need to have as memories of him as I can, so I can look back and always remember this moment. I want to always remember how I felt right now. Although, I feel pain, the love outweighs it all.

“I need a camera, I need to have pictures of him” I say quietly, but loud enough for them to hear.

“We can get someone to get you a camera” the nurse advises.

“Thank you” it comes out in a whisper.

“No problem” she says “I’ll give you both some alone time, I’ll be outside if you need anything.”

She leaves the room, leaving me alone with my family, which is falling apart. The happy family that I haven’t been able to experience properly, but that’s what happens to me. I’m not destined to have a family. I try not to think about the sadness too much, I don’t want my only time with my boy to be filled with tears. I want to be able to look back at this time and smile, remembering how happy he made me.
I’m so grateful to the hospital and the staff. They’ve been so good to me. I don’t think they’d normally get a camera for someone, well someone ‘normal’. We’re not seen as normal, we’re seen as more important that other people, which isn’t right. I’m the same as any other mother out there. Anyway, I try to forget about all of that and focus all of my attention on my boy.

“Hello, I’m your mummy” I say to him.

I know it’s stupid talking to him, when he doesn’t understand, but it’s helping me. It’s helping me to cope with what’s happening. I keep hoping if there is a chance he understands and that he can hear me, that he’ll remember my voice. I want him to know who I was and how much I love him, before he dies.
I want to tell Harry to speak to him too and tell him that he’s his daddy, but I can’t even look at him. I don’t want to be angry anymore, I don’t want our toxic relationship to affect these precious moments I have.

“I love you, mummy loves you so much” I whimper.

My already damaged heart is breaking. It’s breaking into tiny pieces and it’s laying in small broken fragments on the floor. It’s different this time, it isn’t like all the other times my heart has been broken. The pieces were always picked back up and slowly fixed back together, but this time it can’t be fixed. The pieces will never be put back together completely because there will always be a piece missing. There will always be something inside me missing now, Freddy will take that piece with him, when he goes. He’ll hold it forever and I’ll let him take it. I want him to always have a piece of me with him.
I feel Harry’s hand on my shoulder and even though a part of me wants to push him away, I don’t. I can’t push him away, when this is hurting him too. He needs comforting as much as I do. We both need comfort from one another. I need to push away everything that has happened, until after Freddy has gone. I don’t want to deal with any more pain, I need to give Freddy all of my attention.
I press my cheek against his hand, needing to feel his skin against mine. I need to know that he doesn’t blame me for everything that has gone wrong, I need to know that he doesn’t hate me and that he still loves me. Most of all though, I need answers, I need him to help me see why this is happening.

“What’re we going to do, Harry? How’re we going to get through this?”

Harry’s POV

Her words pain me, making me close my eyes to finally stop my emotion from coming out. I don’t want to cry, I want to be the strong one. I stare down at the top of her head, wishing I knew how to answer her questions. I don’t know what we’re going to do, I have no clue. I feel her wet cheek against my hand, soaking my hand with her tears.
I wish I could tell her that everything will be okay, but how can I say that, when I know it isn’t going to be okay. It’s only going to get harder and I’ve no right to sit beside her, acting like this will all hurt me, as much as it will hurt her. I feel nothing compared to what she’s feeling, I never will.
The guilt is getting harder, tougher to deal with. My head aches and so does the pain in my chest. I’ve held her heart ever since the day I met her and I haven’t looked after it. I fucked her around, since the day I met her. I let her go and then begged her to come back, repeating the process over and over. I don’t deserve her, I know I don’t deserve her and soon she’ll see that too. I can’t keep comforting her and pretending that I’m a good loyal guy, when I’m not. I’m worthless, fucking worthless. 

“Sienna.”

She slowly tilts her head up to me, tears pouring down her face as she does. I finally feel my own eyes filling with tears, seeing how upset she is. I know I should’ve already been upset, not just now, all of a sudden. I feel like I’m about to lose the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. The person who I can’t live with and who I can’t live without. My world. My life.

“I need to tell you something.”

She keeps staring at me, her eyes still filled with tears. Her facial features are pinched together in pain, like she already knows where this conversation is going to lead. I feel like she already knows that I’m going to tell her something destructive.

“It’s about Paige” I start to explain.

She shakes her head firmly, looking away from me and back at Freddy. She uses the back of her hand to wipe away the tears from her face.

“No” she says, a tinge of anger in her voice.

She clearly knows where this is going. She isn’t stupid, she knows what I’ve done. She knows me too well, she knows what I’m capable of. She knows about my history and everything that I’ve done in the past. I need to get it all out and clear myself of this overwhelming guilt.

“Harry, I can’t do this now. Please don’t do this now, I don’t need it.”

She’s crying again, she turns away from me and she focuses her attention on the life we created, which has hardly even begun. The life that will never be fulfilled and achieve the milestones that he should have achieved.

“I’m sorry, I need to tell you, I need to tell you what I’ve done” I cry too.

“You only want to tell me for your own selfish reasons, not because it’ll help me. They’ve literally told me to pick a coffin out for my baby and you think now is the right time to bring this shit up! I already know! I already know what you’ve done, Mark told me! Do you really think I care right now, where your dirty dick has been? I’ve got more important things to think about. You fucking your ex is the last thing I care about. I only care about our son and the short time I have with him!”

Her words hit me hard, like a lightning bolt. She’s right, I’m only telling her to make things easier for myself, not to help her. I should have known that fucker would have told her straight away. I should’ve told her myself, straight away.

“I’m sorry.”

I know sorry doesn’t mean much, but I have to say something. She shakes her head and then she starts sobbing again. She needs to hear more than sorry, but I don’t know what else I can say. I don’t know what else will make things better.

“This is the problem, you’re always sorry, but you still keep hurting me. You keep doing these things to me and you think sorry will make it all better. I don’t know you anymore, I haven’t known you for a long time. I don’t know what happened to you, to us. I don’t want a half empty love anymore. I don’t want to be with someone who’s only there when they want to be and not when I need them to be. I want you to look at me the way you use to do. I want you to feel the way you use to feel about me, when you really loved me. I want you to be the Harry that I use to know, I want us to be like we use to be.”

I listen to her, really listen to her for once. Her painful and sorrowful words, make my chest hurt. It hurts me hearing her speaking like this and doubting everything we have. I know I’ve hurt her, but I never thought my shit affected her this deeply. I always ignored it, pushed all the fights off and brushed them under the carpet. I never knew she held on to it, not like this.

“I love you” I admit.

I don’t know what else to say and I feel like she needs to hear those three words. She knows to know that I do love her. I’ve always loved her and I always will.

“No, you don’t. You don’t love me!”

How can she really think for even one second that I don’t love her? I know I’ve done a lot of stupid shit, over the years, but that doesn’t mean what I feel isn’t true. I love her, I always have, even when I didn’t want to.

“Of course I love you! I’ve always loved you, I’m in love with you.”

“No, you’re in love with what we use to be and neither of us are those people anymore. We’ve both changed and so have the things we need. We can’t go back and change, so we’ll never be those people again. We’ve been through too much and it feels like we aren’t meant to be together anymore. I don’t know why we keep fighting it. You’re not the person I need you to be anymore, I need more than the person you are now. I need more than you.”

Her words sting, they sting in my chest and make me step away from her. How can she say these things to me? I’m trying my best, I keep trying, but it never seems good enough for her. She’s never happy, so what else am I meant to do? If she told me what to do then maybe I could make it better, maybe I could be better.
I’m about to argue my case and ask her why she has already given up on me, without giving me another chance. There’s so much we need to talk about and so much to say, but we’re interrupted. I hear someone clearing their throat from behind us, letting their presence be known.
I turn to the door, seeing my mum stood sheepishly by the door. She looks uncomfortable, like she doesn’t know if she should be here or not. I hope she didn’t hear all of our conversation, I don’t want her to know what a dick I am. I don’t want her to know how fast Sienna and I are unravelling.

“Hi” she speaks softly.

Sienna only turns around briefly, taking in my mum’s frame, before looking back at Freddy. She doesn’t look angry, like I thought she would. I’d have expected her to have my mum escorted out of the room, after what they’ve been through.
Her body language and posture stay the same, showing she’s surprisingly calm. I walk to my mum, taking advantage of Sienna’s calmness. I wrap my arms around her, needing to feel some affection. She hugs me back, but not as tightly as I’d have liked her too. Did she hear everything me and Sienna were talking about? Does she know that I’m a cheat and a liar? Does she know that I’m a bad person?

“I didn’t know whether it was okay for me to be here. I can go if it isn’t” my mum claims.

I don’t know if it’s okay for her to be here. I’m fine with it, but it all depends if Sienna is okay with it. They’re the ones who have issues with each other, I’m just the one who’s been dragged into it.

“No, it’s fine, Anne.”

I’m surprised and happy, all at once, hearing Sienna say that. The relief instantly washes over my mum’s face and she seems to relax slightly. I bet she was worried about coming in here and facing us. I’d feel the same, if I was in her position.
My mum slowly walks over to Sienna, leaving me stood by the door. My mum stops behind Sienna and she places her hand gently on Sienna’s shoulder. She rubs it gently, trying to soothe her and Sienna’s body starts to shake, as she starts to cry all over again. She won’t stop crying and I can’t make it better, nobody can.
The two most important people in my life, stand beside one another, finally united. This is all I’ve ever wanted, the pair of them to get along and to be happy with each other. I love them both more than I ever thought possible. The thing is the people you love the most, you tend to treat the worst and that’s definitely the case with the pair of them. I’ve always treated them poorly and they didn’t deserve it, neither of them did.
We all stay in silence, my mum comforting a crying Sienna, like nothing ever happened between them. Then there’s me, just stood by the door watching them and not doing or saying anything. I wish I knew what Sienna was thinking and whether she’s willing to forgive me. There’s still that selfish part of me though, wanting to make the most of this situation. I can’t help wanting her not to forgive me, so I’m finally forced to walk away from her. I wouldn’t have to deal with any of this then. I could let her have a happier and easier life without me, a life she deserves.
The part of me, which knows I can’t live without her, wants her forgiveness. I want her to forgive me because I love her. I know we’re both messed up and so is everything we have. I do love her though and deep down she still loves me. I just don’t know how much longer we can both keep poisoning each other. How much longer can we keep intoxicating each other? It’s starting to hit me that no matter what I do, I’ll never be enough for her. I don’t know how to be more than I already am.

“I’ll go get us all a cup of tea from the canteen” my mum says.

She must be able to sense that we need to talk, so she is giving us some time to do that. I don’t even know where to start though.

“Thanks” Sienna says.

My mum stares at me as she walks to the doors and she mouths ‘comfort her’ to me. I would love to comfort her, but she won’t let me. Every time I try to get close to her, she moves away from me in disgust.
My mum gives me a light smile, as she leaves the room and she leaves us alone. Sienna doesn’t look at me, she remains glued to Freddy. She’s being so brave, I wish I could be as brave as her. I wish I could look at him properly, like she does. I need to look at him, before it’s too late. I can’t though, I don’t want to look at him and fall in love, when he’s going to be taken away from us. I’d rather not remember his face, then I don’t know who I’m missing.

“Can we talk?” I ask.

She nods slowly, allowing me a chance to try and explain myself, but before I can there’s a knock on the door. The door opens and the nurse from earlier walks inside, giving us a caring smile. We’ll have to hold our conversation a bit longer.

“I just wanted to let you know we’re ready to christen him, whenever you’re ready” she smiles lightly.

Sienna turns to face her and she nods slowly, like she’s working in slow motion.

“Can I just have five more minutes with him, please?” she asks.

The nurse nods kindly, letting us know that’s fine.

“Of course. Take as much time as you need and just let me know whenever you’re ready. We’ve managed to get you a camera to use too.”

“Thank you” I tell her, on behalf of me and Sienna.

I really do appreciate all of the hospitals help, in making all of this easier for Sienna. It’s been easier for her to deal with, with their help.
The nurse smiles at me, leaving the room and leaving us alone again. I finally pluck up the courage to get closer to her, so I walk over to her. I’m surprised when she turns around, taking her eyes off Freddy and concentrating fully on me.

“I’m going to give you the chance now, a chance for you to walk away. I don’t want or need you here, neither of us do. So, I’m going to let you have the clean break, you so clearly want. You can go and leave me. I won’t hold it against you or even be angry. I won’t hate you or tell anyone why you left. But this time it will be over for good. We’ll be done, there’ll be no tenth or however many chances to try again. We’ll be over and I never want to see you again.”

She stares at me deadly serious, her blue eyes dark. She is giving me a chance, a chance that part of me wanted. I could have a fresh start, away from this toxic love. I stare into her captivating blue eyes, which have held a part of me, since the day I met her.
It isn’t the same as it used to be though, not anymore. It was never as good as the first time around and it’ll never be like that again. We’ve been through too much shit and too much heartbreak for it to be like that again. I’ve hurt her too much for her to ever fully trust me. It doesn’t matter how much I love her, nothing can rebuild that broken trust.
The only problem we have though is I can’t stand her being with anyone else, it kills me when I see it. She’s the same though, she can’t stand to see me moving on and building a life with someone else, who isn’t her. We don’t work together though, it hasn’t worked for a long time.

“This isn’t an everlasting offer, Harry. There’s the door” she says, nodding to the door.

I look over to the door and then back to her, waiting for her to finish speaking.

“And here I am, so choose now. Is it out family or not?”

I stare back to the door again and then back at Sienna, realising I need to make one of the biggest decisions of my life. Whichever I choose it’ll change the course of my life forever.