The Girl in the Mirror 2 (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 4

Chapter 4
Sienna's POV

My head hurts as I start to realise what I did last night or should I say who I did. I carefully climb out of bed not wanting to wake him up. The last thing I want is for him to wake up and for us to be forced into an awkward conversation. I don't want to discuss what we have done and I am pretty sure he won't want to discuss it either. I look around the bedroom, desperately trying to find my clothes. I am relieved to see my underwear laying on the floor, so I rush over to them and drag them on. I feel slightly better as I continue looking around the bedroom, I am at least partly clothed now. I find my dress hanging over a chair, I grab it and I pull that on as well gratefully. The only thing I can't find are my shoes. My new beautiful black Jimmy Choo's. I curse myself in my head for being so stupid and getting into this situation in the first place. I find my handbag on the floor and I grab it. I decide to leave my shoes because I can't risk him waking up with me still here. I will leave them here and at least then he can keep a reminder of me.
I quietly creep out of the bedroom and once I am at the top of the stairs, I run down them. I rush through the hallway and I rush outside. I close the front door behind me quietly, thankful to be outside and away from him. I stay rooted to the spot for a moment as I look up and down the street to see if the coast is clear and thankfully it is. I head down the street, hoping not to draw too much attention to myself. It isn't easy to hide away from people's attention when I am wearing my black dress from last night and the fact that I am not wearing any shoes, doesn't help either. I walk for a few streets, so I am not near his house, I don't want anyone getting wind of me being at his. I reach a street a safe distance from his and I stand on the corner. I switch my phone on and it goes off over and over again, as messages fill my phone. I have texts and missed calls, all mainly from Liam. I start to feel guilty not only for what I did last night. I feel guilty that Niall clearly didn't let Liam know I was staying at his, like I had presumed he had. I ignore the messages as I find a taxi number in my phone and I order a taxi from the street I am stood on, once I find the street sign.
I try to hide near a wall and I stand with my back to the road. I try to camouflage myself in to the wall, but it doesn't seem to work. I have to endure all the cars driving past me and they beep their car horns at me as they do. I cringe at this situation I have put myself in and I feel ashamed of myself. Why can't I just be a decent human being? Why didn't I stop drinking and go home with Liam when he insisted? I don't know how I will be able to look into his eyes now I have slept with someone else. I have been faithful since we got together, for the first time ever. This is the only relationship where I worked hard not to cheat and I succeeded until last night. He doesn't deserve this, he doesn't deserve to be treated like this. It's made me realise that deep down I don't love Liam, not like I should. He's my best friend, but I need more than that. I need more than someone who is nice to me and last night proved it. The only problem is I'm too scared to be without him, I don't know how to cope without him, and that means I will never leave him.
My taxi pulls up beside me, after what feels like hours, but it is only about ten minutes. I rush inside and I ask the taxi driver to take me to Liam's address, well our address. Liam's apartment is nice and I like living there, but it doesn't feel like home. It will never be my home, but I am too scared to live alone again. I don't think I will ever feel safe in living alone after last year. The taxi sets off and I stare out of the window, taking in the London scenery. I feel miserable as I do, I wasn't meant to go down this path again. I was meant to have my happy ending with Liam and now I have ruined it. I have started on the path of destructing this relationship and I know I won't stop now until I have completely destroyed it. I couldn't tell you why I am doing this, I don't even know why I am. I just wish Liam could be enough for me, I hate myself that he isn't.

"Hey aren't you Sienna Star?" the taxi driver asks me as he watches me through his mirror.

"Yes" I answer back reluctantly.