The Girl in the Mirror 2 (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Sienna's POV

"Please hear me out" he begs me.

He's on his knees in front of me, staring up at me with sad and desperate eyes. I stare down at him, kneeling on the floor, ready to beg and plead for forgiveness. There's still some part of me though which wants to hear him out and find out what he has to say. I've still got that feeling inside, which I can't get rid of. That stupid needy feeling, which still after everything we've been through wants to make this work. It might be stupid, but I can't help loving him and wanting to know what he's feeling too. I still want him to make this all okay, I want him to magically make us okay, but I know now there's nothing magical about our life. There isn't anything magical about us and our disastrous relationship at all.

There's also a part of me, the smart part, which doesn't want to hear him out. I know if I hear him out where this will end up leading to. He'll give me his usual lines, the ones that have worked every other time and then everything will just fall back into place. That's a place I don't want to go back to, not right now. The problem now though is I know him, I know him better than anyone else and I know he isn't going to just leave. He isn't going to go, not until I hear him out. I know it'll be easier to just hear him out, then we can get this over with as quickly as possible.

My body sags in defeat, feeling drained at his mere presence. This is what he does to me whenever he's around after he's hurt me. He steals all of my happiness when he's like this, making it vanish into thin air and all he leaves is a void inside. I attempt to mentally prepare myself for the bullshit that's going to now leave his mouth. I know he'll have a million and one excuses for why he did what he did. He'll have endless reasons for it like every time he's done this in the past. It doesn't matter what he says now, it isn't going to make any difference. The damage has already been done and he can't just reverse it with his apologies now.

I have to stand here in front of him and endure him bursting into his plea, forcing his words and opinions on to me. He knows I don't want to hear his speech, but he's forcing it all on to me. I'm trying my best to not listen to him, which isn't hard because I'm already distracted. I can't concentrate on what he's saying. My mind is already focused on Freddy, wondering how he's managed to sleep for so long. He's lazy my boy at times, but there's still a slight worry inside me. I'll probably have to wake him up to give him his bottle, I don't want him to go much longer without anything to eat.

"I know I've messed up, I'm so sorry. I want this to work, I need us to work."

My attention is immediately dragged back to Harry as anger circulates through my veins. The rage starts to rise up through my body, creeping up me and making it impossible for me to hold my anger in. How does he always manage to do this to me? He always manages to push me and he makes me become someone I don't want to be. He forces me to become the old Sienna, someone I fight every day not to be. He makes me become the old angry person I use to be.

I thrash my arms up in the air, rolling my hands into tight fists as I try to release some of my anger. I'm sick of hearing this same rubbish over and over again and I'm tired of all this endless bullshit. I can't keep listening to the same shit over and over again. I've been listening to it over and over for years now and I've had enough. I can't keep going through this time and time again.

I tug desperately at my hair, wrapping my fingers in my locks and I tug on it furiously. I can't make the anger go away, even though I want to let it go and remain calm. The last thing I want is to shout at him and for this to turn into a slanging match. I don't want this to be any bitterer than it already is.