The Girl in the Mirror 2 (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Liam's POV

The days turned into months and the seasons slowly passed me by, everything passed me by. The seasons changed, summer turned into autumn and winter is growing nearer. The once green trees that were full of life are now bare and the once green leaves now lay on the ground. Those leaves are now brown and lifeless. Time passed me by, but no matter how much time went by, I never felt different. The feelings, the love inside me never disappeared. I wanted it to go sometimes, but it never did and I don't believe now it ever will. I don't know where to begin, I don't know how to explain what I feel. I just know I feel empty, I am completely empty. She left me, she walked away and she never came back. I waited, I counted the days down expecting her to come back, but she didn't. She didn't go away for a few weeks like I had expected, it's been months since she left and I've still heard nothing. It has been so hard, losing her has been the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with and I still haven't gotten over it. I can't get over it. I lost myself when she left, I lost who I was, because I didn't know who I was without her. My Sienna, she will always be my Sienna. It doesn't matter how much time we spend apart, she will always be mine.
The one thing I hold onto is that she did keep her promise. She made sure she contacted me and that meant she let me know where she ended up. She did text me to say that she had got to where she needed too safely. I didn't get any more than that though, I just got a message from her telling me she was safe and she knew what she needed to do. She changed her number not long after that and she never gave me her new one. I get why she changed it, but it doesn't make it any easier for me. I wish I knew what she needed, then I could have given that to her. She obviously didn't think it was important enough to tell me where she was and what she needed or about her plans. She didn't need me anymore, which is her thoughts and her way of thinking now, not mine. I can't be angry and I can't judge her for that, she did what she had to do. I miss her though, I miss her every single day and I will openly admit that to anyone who asks me. I went from having her by my side every single day to not seeing her for months on end. I don't know when I will see her again, but when I do, I will be ready. I will be ready for her whether it is next week, next month or next year. I could easily pick back up where we left off, but I don't know where she is mentally right now. I don't even know if she would want to be with me anymore.
I still remember that concert when she left, it didn't take long for everyone to realise she had gone. I remember standing on stage trying to act like everything was ok, it wasn't ok though. I remember every word I sang was for her and with every lyric I sang, my heart slowly disintegrated. I don't know how I got through that show or how I finished it, but I did. The guys picked up during the show that something was wrong and I think even the crowd got a vibe from me. I didn't want it all to affect the show, the fans didn't deserve that, but it was hard trying to pretend everything was ok, when it wasn't. I think Niall knew straight away, he only had to look at my face and then to the side of the stage to see she wasn't there. It hit him hard too, it hit all of us hard. I was lucky though that I had them all around me for support, because they were all great with me. I appreciated them all, but I didn't need them, I needed her. I just wanted her back and I would have done anything to be with her.
It didn't take long for the media to realise that something wasn't right. They followed me around like they always did, expecting her to be with me like she always was, but she wasn't. They just all presumed we had split up and I just allowed everyone to believe that. I allowed everyone to come to terms with it themselves and I didn't answer any questions about it. I didn't want to let everyone know about that aspect of my life and in all honesty, I didn't know what was going on myself. If people wanted to think we were just over, then I was ok with that, I just didn't want to answer anything about it or to confirm it. The guys all wanted to know what had happened, but again I couldn't answer them, I didn't know what happened properly. I don't think anyone could understand what it was all about, apart from Sienna herself. All I knew was that she needed to go, she needed to be happy and I cared too much about her to stop her from doing that. I just know she did the right thing for her and that's all that matters. How could I not support her when it was what she needed? I miss her every single day, especially at night. I miss her when I get into bed at night, I miss cuddling up to her and I miss her always being there. I just miss her.
I have learnt the hard way though that nothing eases the pain, the pain of not having her by my side. I get it now, I get how Harry felt when he was with her and how he felt when she left him. I understand how broken he felt without her because I am going through that now. The difference between me and Harry though is, I would never go down the same messed up path that he did. I know I am better than that, I know the answer isn't at the bottom of a pint glass or in the end of a needle. I don't need drugs or alcohol to deal with the pain, I am strong enough to deal with it myself. I do have friends and family to lean on when times get hard and I'm not afraid to speak up when I need support. I have grown closer to Niall, I tell him how I feel and what I need, he gives me that whenever he can. She kept in touch with him and he keeps me informed that she is doing ok, but he never delves any deeper than that. He respects her privacy and I have to do the same. If it wasn't for him keeping in touch with her though I would be concerned that she had completely disappeared. She has literally gone from being the most photographed woman in the world to literally there being no pictures and no stories about her at all. I'm happy she has got the privacy she needs to get better. I just hope she knows wherever she is these days, that I will always support her, no matter what.
I paste on my happy work face, the one that lies and pretends to everyone around me that I am ok. I walk into the room and I greet everyone happily, even though today feels harder than usual. It gets tiring and draining some days, this is one of them days. Niall is the first to greet me and he gives me a brief hug. He is smiling widely at me and I call tell he is in a good, well I suppose he always is though. He was dating a girl, Barbara I think she was called, but that soon fizzled out. He's not as crazy as he once was and I think he is hoping to settle down soon. I get a nod of the head from Harry and I smile back at him. He is with Paige now and things just keep getting better for them. They are living together and it feels like we have finally got Harry back after all of this time. He is madly in love with her and the angry, cruel Harry we once knew seems like a distant memory. Louis, well he's just the same old Louis. He and Eleanor are still living in blissful married life. Zayn is quiet these days, like he always is and he's happier in his own company. He is still single, he hasn't been on any dates and he's happy with that for now. The police found his burnt out car eventually, but it was never traced back to me or Sienna. They assumed that some thug had stolen the car, crashed it and then burnt it to hide the evidence. I was happy to go along with that story, it saved me from getting into trouble. The girl who Sienna crashed into got burnt in the crash, but from what I hear she is making a good recovery. Zayn got in touch with her to wish her well, I think he felt guilty as it was his car and he can't be sure he locked his front door. He thinks someone got in and took his car keys. Everything seems to have worked out for everyone else in the end, except me.
We all sit down, discussing our future and our plans. We are all soon handed bacon sandwiches, but I decline the offer. I'm not hungry, I never feel hungry anymore. We discuss our new album, we are much more creative and involved this time around and I like that. I like that our opinions and input actually matters. We spend a while discussing our ideas and eventually we take a break, so Zayn can go for a cigarette. The rest of us stay where we are and the conversation soon drifts to tonight.