The Girl in the Mirror 2 (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Sienna's POV

He stares at me and at first I see happiness shining in his eyes, his lips curling at the edges slightly into a discreet smile. That all quickly disappears though and the happiness vanishes within a blink of an eye. His face is quickly etched with confusion and I can tell he feels uneasy that I'm here. I'm probably the last person he expected to be knocking on his door at this time of night. I didn't expect to be here either. I didn't think things were going to turn out like this. I suppose though nothing has worked out like I expected it to for me or for him.

I can't help feeling bitter, seething still that I'm not with my family. The family I fought so long to have and who I fought every day to keep together. There's only two of us left in this family now and I'll have to live with that. I'll have to accept that the missing piece of our puzzle will never be complete.

I stare at him, feeling weak and all I want is for him to hug me. I want him to tell me it's all going to be okay. I want him to let me in, I need him to let me in and for him to look after me. I need him to keep his promise that he'd look after me if things didn't work out, like we both knew deep down it wouldn't.

He doesn't say anything, he just stares back at me and I start to feel myself dismantling before his very eyes. I don't understand why he's just staring back at me. Why isn't he speaking to me and finding out what's wrong? Surely, he can see it on my face that I need him, I need a friend. I just need to know someone cares, really cares. I know he does care, I just need him to show it.

My eyes are on the verge of releasing tears, desperation etched on my face. My body is sagging down in defeat, giving up completely. Why isn't he helping me? I step closer to him and his eyes quickly move to the car seat in my hand, where Freddy sleeps. He should know somethings wrong if I'm here with Freddy at this time of night. I know he isn't going to speak, so I need to take the lead. I need to tell him what's going on.

"The last time I saw you in the hospital, you said if I ever needed you that you'd be here for me. I need you, Zayn" I say emotionally "I need you because you were right. You were right about him, he's ended things again and I didn't know where else to go. I don't have anywhere else to go."

I desperately try to swallow my tears back, which have formed in pools in the corner of my eyes. I feel humiliated, embarrassed that everything has come to this. I'm trying to keep it together, trying to stop my hurt from exploding outwards, but I can't. I've been forced into having to rely on someone else, Zayn this time all because of Harry. If Harry really cared I wouldn't here, but he doesn't. I shouldn't have to be here, but the man who's claimed to love me has made me be here. The man I love has let me down once again. His bipolar love has caused this. He's broken every fragment of my soul, leaving an empty shell behind.

My eyes focus of the ground I stand on, bowing my head and trying to hold onto some dignity. I keep willing myself to be strong, but I'm weak. I take this moment, a chance to compose myself, so I can hide my desperation. I bet he can smell it on me though, I bet he can see the desperation soaking through me.

My hand wraps tighter around the handle of the car seat, where Freddy still sleeps soundly. He has no clue that our lives are crashing down around us, our family has crashed and burnt. I just pray he stays asleep, until I can get everything resolved and until Zayn lets me inside.

I finally look back up at him and I stare back into his confused brown eyes. He still doesn't speak a word to me and I'm not sure what else I can say to him. I expected him to welcome me with open arms, holding me closely and rushing me inside, so I can lay my heart out to him. He isn't though and it makes me feel alone, completely alone.