The Girl in the Mirror 2 (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 3

Chapter 3
Sienna's POV

I stay in the toilets for a while making sure I am calm, so that I can go back out there with my head held high. I don't want anyone to know I am a mess. I don't anyone to know that Harry has had an impact on me, especially Harry himself. I finally stand up and I feel lightheaded. I close my eyes for a moment as I hold on to the side of the toilet cubicle. I was specifically told by my doctor that I wasn't meant to take my diazepam with alcohol, but you know me, I make my own rules. I will do anything I need to do to forget the past and to block out what happened. I wait a few more minutes until I feel better and I finally let myself out of the toilet. I slowly make my way back to the bar, ready for the night ahead. I am handed a flute of champagne as soon as I leave the toilets and I drink it in one. The alcohol makes me feel jittery, yet it doesn't stop me from getting a second flute and drinking that in one too.
I make my way back to Liam and I slowly start to feel normal again. I'm drunk, but I am a calm drunk. Liam smiles at me as I come closer to him. He instantly looks concerned when he sees me grow closer and he takes in my tired face. I try to ignore him as I look around for Harry and I am thankful that he isn't anywhere to be seen now. Hopefully, he took the hint and he won't come back over to us anytime soon.

"Are you ok babe?" Liam asks me and I instantly feel irritated by his presence.

I grab another flute of champagne, I go to drink it, but I miss my mouth and I end up spilling half of it down the front of my dress. I get angry throwing the glass on the floor, making it smash into small pieces. I feel people's eyes on us as I draw unwanted attention to us. I don't care though, I dare anyone to come and say something to me. I dare them to challenge me, they will lose and I will make them wish they hadn't said anything to me in the first place. Liam rushes to my side and I get even angrier by him being near me. He is irritating me even more, even when he gently turns me to face him, I get more annoyed. I screw up my eyes to try and focus on his face properly. He isn't impressed with my behaviour, I can see it in his eyes. I can't change who I am though, this is me. This is what happens when you decide to be with me, I am messed up. He already knew this about me, he already knew what I was capable of, and that hasn't changed. He hasn't changed how crazy I am on the inside. Although I haven't blown up and felt this angry for a while. He hasn't experienced this properly in our relationship, well he has, but not to this extent.

"We're going home" he tells me.

It is moments like this that make me pissed off with him, he tells me what we are doing. He doesn't ask me if that's what I want to do because he just expects me to go along with what he says. I normally do, but not today, I don't want too. He normally talks sense and I want to listen to him. He might be ready to go home, I'm not. I'm just getting ready to party and I don't want to be boring anymore. I don't want to go home and think about the great night I could have had.

"No!" I snap and I instinctively push him viciously away from me.

He has tipped me over, he has pushed me over the edge, and now all that remains is anger.

"Sienna" he says firmly yet quietly.

He doesn't want to draw attention to us, that's Liam though. He never wants to make a scene and he never wants to argue. He doesn't want to fight or say horrible things to me, so we can make up afterwards. He wants to sit down and talk about our issues, he wants to be a grown up about them and I hate that. I hate that he hasn't got it in him to have an argument with me. I just need to argue with him sometimes, I need to say I hate him and that I don't want to be with him. I need to be horrible and nasty to him and for him to do the same with me. I want to be scared to lose what we have and I want him to fight for me. I want him to fight for me like Harry always did. I need to know what we have is worth fighting for, but he won't. He won't give me what I want and that's why now and then I blow up like this. He makes me bottle up all of my anger and frustration and he won't let me release it until I force it upon him. It eats away at me and it makes me feel ill. It makes me feel like this and he doesn't get it. He doesn't get that I need to blow up sometimes, so I can feel sane again.