The Girl in the Mirror 2 (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter 5

Chapter 5
Sienna's POV
"Get the fuck off me!" I snap angrily.

I quickly drag my arm out of his grip viciously. I don't want him anywhere near me.

"Don't you dare even think you can touch me" I tell him firmly.

I quickly step away from him, helping to create a safer distance between us. He chuckles lightly to himself and then he takes a short drag on the cigarette in his hand as he does.

"You weren't saying that to me last night, where you?" he asks arrogantly "In fact if I recall, you were desperate for me to touch you, you were practically begging me" he says indecently.

My cheeks blush with embarrassment from his words and from recalling what actually did happen last night. I know I literally threw myself at him, I begged him to have sex with me and I loved it. I loved every minute of it and that meant I lost all of my self-respect. What was I even thinking last night? Why did I even let him touch me?

"You took advantage of me" I claim "You manipulated me when I was drunk and vulnerable. I didn't even know what I was doing!" I state.

My words are lies, they are all lies. I knew exactly what I was doing last night and even though I was drunk, I wanted it. I wanted him and all I am doing now is trying to justify what I did. I am trying to make myself out to be the better person in this, but I'm not. I wanted him, just as much as he wanted me. I can't admit that now though. He laughs at my accusations, knowing himself they are all lies. He knows better than anyone else, we both know how easy it is to lie. He has always been a good liar, like me.

"I'm pretty sure that it was you who turned up at my house last night. It was you who knocked on my front door and you were the one who kissed me, when you came into my house. It was you who started to undress first and it was you who got on top of me" he says, rhyming off how the events unfolded last night.

I glare at him, I hate him for bringing all of this up.

"I have a boyfriend, he loves me" I state.

He laughs shaking his head at me "You always have a boyfriend, every time we've been together you have had a boyfriend! You had a boyfriend last year as well and it didn't stop you then either" he says.

He's right and that makes me feel ashamed of myself. We both know that I have no loyalty to anyone and if I decide I want something, I go out and get it. I don't know why, but somehow I am always drawn back to Zayn. I always turn back to him when I am ready to hurt someone else or I am looking for a way to destroy myself. I use him to destroy what I have and to set myself up for doom in my relationships. He always says yes to helping me, he always will. I know he has his own agenda, but as long as it benefits us both, I don't mind.
The last thing I want now is for him to tell Liam, he can't find out here, not like this. I can't let him find out from Zayn, what we have done.

"You can't tell anyone, please don't tell anyone" I say shamefully.

Surely, he knows if Liam finds out, all hell will break loose in this band, again. It would be the final nail in the coffin for their band and for mine and Liam's relationship. He laughs lightly, he does it in a way that makes my blood run cold.

"Explain to me what you mean, Sienna. Do you mean don't tell anyone at all about last night? Or do you mean not to tell anyone, like you didn't last time with us? Does Harry count as anyone?" he ask bitterly.

I remember last year, I remember telling Harry about me and Zayn, I did it out of revenge. It makes me feel sick how badly I hurt Zayn back then, I did it all for my own benefit. I had a huge hand in ending him and Perrie, something he has never been able to get over. He was forced into telling her, because Harry never gave him any other choice. Perrie never forgave him properly after that and if I hadn't been so cruel in telling Harry, perhaps they would still be together now. I probably wouldn't be in this situation now, begging for him not to tell anyone, if I hadn't done what I did last year.