It'll be our secret, Miss Abrams (GirlxGirl) [COMPLETED]

Twenty Four

Jackson knows there's something wrong, but when I don't say what it is, he knows not to push.

We sit on the couch and watch Lord of the Rings with a big bowl of popcorn and juice, but I can't focus. I keep thinking about Diana's lips on mine, about her body in my arms. How wrong it was, but how right it felt.

"I wasn't gonna ask, but you're worrying me," Jackson says, taking the popcorn bowl away. "What is going on?"

I had two things on my mind, dad and Diana. And between both of them, I wasn't sure which one I was less ready to share. Both felt too personal, but what happened with Diana must remain a secret.

I sigh, "my dad's in the hospital. In a coma."

"WHAT?" He puts his hands on my shoulders, shaking me, "Since when? Why am I only hearing about this now?"

"Because..." Jackson releases me at the low tone of my voice. I look at my hands as I speak, "because he's in an alcoholic coma, Jackson. Since November 14th."

"The anniversary," he says softly and I nod.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry, Spencer," he says, coming closer and hugging me.

Finally saying it out loud makes my eyes sting. Makes it real. Dad's in the hospital. In a coma. I cry silently on Jackson's shoulder, his hand patting my back lightly. I don't want to think about the possibility of dad never waking up again.

I feel bad for keeping what happened with Diana from him, but I'm not ready to face what I did just yet. I can't believe I kissed her.

Fuck.

But Diana had kissed me too. She wanted that as much as I did, even if we shouldn't want it.

Romeo, was it that hard for you?

We finish the movie and I feel both lighter for sharing the weight of dad's situation with Jackson and heavy for what I just did in Diana's home.

I've controlled myself for so long, not hitting Amelie when I wanted to, not kissing Diana when I was dying to, and now look at me. I've done both of those things I wasn't supposed to.

I hope mom's not too disappointed.

"You should've told me earlier, stupid," Jackson says as we go upstairs, "I could've helped you."

"You can't help me, Jackson. No one can," I change into his pajamas and fall back on the bed. "Unless you can make him wake up."

He sighs, sitting on the bed. "Is that why you're offering to tutor?"

I nod, looking at the ceiling. I feel so much pressure on me. Dad at the hospital and the money for the rent. Diana and my feelings about her. The fact that I didn't tell Jackson about everything.

I yawn and feel my lids heavy with sleep. I'm tired and all this stress drained the remains of my energy.

My mom smiles proudly at me, ruffling my hair and sitting beside me on the sofa.

"An A? I'm so proud of you Spencer!" Seeing her smile made me happy. Seeing her proud of me made me happy.

"An A?" Dad put his head on the kitchen door, smiling at us. Then he came back, a towel on his hands. "In what, Spencer?"

"Math," I say, raising my chin smugly, making both of them laugh. Dad knelt on the rug in front of me, his eyes now at my level.

"You're so smart, Spencer. I'm proud of you too," he kissed the top of my head.