It'll be our secret, Miss Abrams (GirlxGirl) [COMPLETED]

Eighteen

I'm fighting the exhaustion as I sit in the waiting room of the hospital.

It feels just like that night seven years ago when mom died, but unlike then, I'm now sitting alone. I stand and start to pace in the empty room, waiting for the doctors to come and tell me anything.

A woman comes in, "Ms. Reed? I'm Doctor Avery Patterson, I'm your father's assigned doctor," I nod and we shake hands. "Your father will be okay, Ms. Reed, but we believe he got himself into an alcoholic coma. Usually patients wake up in a few hours after the liver metabolizes the alcohol and they're hydrated, but we are not sure if that'll be the case."

"What? Why not?"

She inhales, clicking her pen and putting her hands in her coat. "Because he drank a lot, Ms. Reed. We are doing what we can, but sometimes what we can is not enough."

Sometimes what we can is not enough.

I nod, feeling so much I'm feeling nothing at all. I am numb, I am empty. I am so full of worry and dread I fall back into the chair, and Doctor Patterson sits beside me for a second.

I'm worried about my dad, I'm hurting about my mother's death. I am confused about my feelings for Diana.

"Listen, kid. You should go home and get some rest, you can't do anything for him while you're here." Her blue eyes were kind and she offered me a smile. "Visiting hours is from 10am to 8pm, so you can come back then."

I nod. I knew she was right, I couldn't do anything for him. I was no doctor, I knew nothing about this. I was, on all sides that mattered in this situation, a kid. But I didn't want to go, to let him alone in the hospital.

I didn't want to abandon him.

"The EMTs told me you came in the ambulance with them. Do you have anyone to come pick you up or you'll be getting a cab?"

"The taxi, doctor," she nods, standing up and patting my shoulder.

"We'll take care of him, Ms. Reed."

"Spencer, please," I ask and she nods.

"Have a good night, Spencer. Try to rest," then she leaves.

And I leave too.

_____

The day is colder but there's a slight opening in the clouds, and the sun is shining through it.

I barely got any sleep after last night, and the first thing I do when I wake up is take a shower. The hot water helps me relax and with the migraine I'm getting. I can't believe dad's in an alcoholic coma.

I unchain my bike and ride to the graveyard.

The iron gate on the outside opens with a noise and I step inside. There's a sea of tombstones and my steps echo in the silence. I take my familiar route to my mom's grave.

Charlie Reed.

I sit by her tomb, and I talk to her. I talk about Jackson and how she'd loved us going to my first homecoming. I talk about Diana and these weird things I've been feeling, this attraction. I talk about Amelie and Diego and lastly I talk about dad.

If she watches over us I assume she already knows what happened, but now she can hear my version of it.

"Dad is... I am sure he misses you. I think that's why he drinks. To forget you. To forget you're not here anymore..." I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks, "he called me Charlie one of these days, he thought I was you. He looked so broken, so disappointed it was not you."