It'll be our secret, Miss Abrams (GirlxGirl) [COMPLETED]

Twenty Three

I visit dad in the hospital on the weekend as usual. It's the first weekend of December and I discovered a small hole in my sneakers so I can't really wear white socks anymore.

I put on Jackson's hoodie and my jacket before riding to the store and getting in the bus. The trees are losing their leaves for the cold and soon we'll be watching our breaths condensating in the air.

It's been only a week, but no one called me for tutoring yet and I think the rent bill will come this week, so I am doomed. Maybe I can talk to the landlord and explain it to him. He has to understand, right?

A sticker is glued to my jacket and I go to dad's room. He's still lying there, and I see his beard is filling in, and I wonder if the nurses would shave it. I sit on a chair close to him and take my notebook and a pencil out of my backpack.

"Hi dad. You've been here for... eighteen days?" I sigh, letting my head fall on top of my arms, crossed over the table. "That's a lot of days, dad."

He doesn't move, the continuous beep of his monitor the only sound in the room. I study for Diana's test then I sketch a bit. I wonder if Jackson's mom would lend me her camera so we could take pictures again on Winter break.

I'm not really sure what dad did with mom's stuff. I always thought he sold them, but I never really asked. Dad never talked about mom, and I could never gather up the strength to ask him. He always looked so sad when he thought of her, I felt bad for reminding him of her.

But I was the spitting image of her, so I guess I didn't really have a choice.

The nurses came by, then I saw Doctor Patterson again. She was kind and talked briefly to me as she checked on dad. I felt like she really cared, and I was sure dad was in good hands.

I talk to him about how I wanted to punch Amelie but ended up pushing her. I talk to him about Rory, how she looked badass and had a super pissed off aura but was actually pretty nice. I tell him about how nice it was of my friends to visit me and help me when I had a headache.

I don't tell him about how I overstepped and touched Diana's hand. Twice.

I feel embarrassed of myself in the hospital room.

I stay until I have to leave to catch a bus and I do the usual ritual of squeezing his hand on the way out. I let my hand in his for a moment, hoping he'd squeeze back, but it never comes, so I walk out and close the door behind me.

Not a lot of people catch the late afternoon bus on the hospital route on a Saturday, so it's not very hard to find a seat. I let my head rest against the window, watching the trees passing by.

I hope he doesn't stay in a coma for the rest of his life. I can't deal with that. What will I do? I'm barely a full adult, life experience wise.

I can't lose him too.

Jackson never showed me the picture he somehow has of Diana and another girl he took this last weekend. I'm a bit curious, but I don't wanna see it. I feel bothered by the fact that I care if she was with someone else.

I enter the store, blowing on my hands for warmth. Kyle waves at me and quickly goes away, and I'm left alone.

'what r u doing after ur shift?' Jackson texts me and I frown a bit.

'nothing? im gonna sleep' I see the bubbles appear but I have to put it away to scan stuff for a customer.

I smile and wave as they leave, then I pick it again.

'wanna come over? movie night'

'sure'

'btw I used your dad's keys to lock the door thursday, so don't let me forget to return it to you'