It'll be our secret, Miss Abrams (GirlxGirl) [COMPLETED]

Nineteen

I have breakfast at Jackson's then I chain Josephine by the store before getting a bus to the hospital.

Someone had the brilliant idea to build a hospital on the outskirts of town, far enough that you can only get there by car. I have to get the bus that goes between the towns to get down on a close enough stop then walk on the side of the road the rest of the way.

They glue a sticker on my shirt and I go up to my dad's room. He's lying on the bed, a mask over his face and in that ugly gown. He looks so fragile, so vulnerable. So thin. I sit on a chair by his side.

"Hello dad. I hope you can hear me, I'm not sure how this coma thing works. People always talk to people in a coma in movies, so I'll talk to you." I ramble, but he doesn't move. "Sorry I didn't come earlier, but you know, I had to go to school and this hospital is in the middle of nowhere."

I keep talking to him until I run out of news and gossip Jackson told me this week. I talk until I have to go buy myself a bottle of water, then I come back and do some homework.

I'm very uncomfortable doing it, and the beeps of his heart monitor makes me nervous, so I put on some music for us, to try and muffle it. Nurses come in every now and then to check up on him, and then Doctor Patterson. I work on my Geometry assignments, drawing shit and calculating areas and volumes until the sun starts to fall and I have to get the bus back home.

"I'll come back tomorrow, dad," I say, then I squeeze his hand and leave.

I stifle a yawn on the bus, then I let my eyes close for a second. This is already wearing me out. Jackson told me to come by because his mom is making a lasagna and she insisted that I should have dinner with them.

I smile as I jump out of the bus. Sometimes things get hard, but it's always easier to carry the weight when you know you have people that love and care for you. People that will help you.

It was what helped me endure Amelie before, survive through my mom's death and will be what will keep me afloat with dad at the hospital. Even with the pain and the hurt, I'll go on.

Diana didn't come tonight, and as every time that happened, I felt myself a bit disappointed. And then guilty for missing her.

I shouldn't. I shouldn't think she's attractive, I shouldn't have this stupid crush on her. She's my teacher, for God's sake. And my friend, and I don't wanna fuck that up. That month that she distanced herself hurt. A lot. It hurt more and for longer than I expected.

Having a crush sucks.

I ride home and I catch sight of the usual drug dealer delivering before the black car goes away. I chain my bike and go upstairs to our apartment. As I unlock it, I don't think I've ever felt so alone.

I always had my dad, or Jackson around. Even when they are not around, I know they're there for me. Then with my connection with Diana, I came to trust her. I felt like she was there for me when she asked me about the pants and when she sent Jackson because she saw Amelie tormenting me at homecoming.

But right now, I feel stranded.

I take my shoes off and go directly to the bathroom to take a shower and brush my teeth. It doesn't take long for sleep to take me.

_____

I eat a piece of toast bread and get some paper to make flyers, advertising my babysitting and tutoring capabilities for underclassmen. Maybe I could help them with Geometry or Physics.

I put the babysitting flyer on the note board of the complex, then make myself some hash browns for lunch. Today I don't have to work, but I take Josephine and chain her to the store because it's closest to the bus route.