The Ust Files

More than friends but less than lovers

Mahal kita, mahal mo ko, pero alam ko mahal mo siya.
Magkaibigan lang naman tayo dati eh, blockmates, nagkakasama sa inuman but nothing more than that.

Ayoko nga sa'yo eh, pano may image ka na sakin na babaero ka, habulin ng babae, di lang taga UST.

Pero we became close. How? Nangyari na lang. Suddenly, I cannot let a day pass without talking to you. Biglang namimiss kita, natutuwa ako pag nakikita kita, kinikilig ako pag ngumingiti ka.

Yun nga lang, taken ka. I kept my distance, ayoko na rin lumalim feelings ko sayo, gusto ko ng magkagusto sa iba. Pero di ko naman maturuan tong pusong tanga at nagmamahal sayo ng patago.

Then we talked, umamin ka, may feelings ka rin ka sakin. Sino ba namang di kikiligin? Yung taong gusto mo, mahal mo, mahal ka din. Pero possible ba yun? Mahal mo kami pareho?

I know I deserve better. Di naman ako pangit, may nagkakagusto naman sakin, yung isa kaibigan mo pa. I don't know why I'm being contented in this situation. Yung tipong okay ako, your love is enough for me.

You know the worst part of being in this situation? Its when I need to keep a straight face each time you are together, to say that I'm okay even when its breaking me inside, to just smile when you say her name, to never demand, to treasure every moment I have with you since I don't know when are you going to throw me away.

Mahal kita, mahal na mahal. Ang sama ko, for not feeling guilty, for hurting her without her knowing. Tao lang ako, nagmahal. Kung pwede lang patayin ang feelings, ginawa ko na.

Mapagod pa kaya ako? Di ko na magawang tumingin sa iba, magkagusto sa iba, ano bang meron ka.

Hirap makutento, lalo na kung ang gusto ko lang naman eh ikaw, buong ikaw, walang kahati.

Ehra

2013
Faculty of Arts and Letters