The Ust Files

Her Side of The Story

To: The wedding singer:

Hi! It’s me. It has been 7 years since I last saw you. I haven’t heard anything from you since that night you told me to stop clinging on to you because you did not love me and you loved your priorities more.

I tried messaging you every day since then, but you never responded. It went on for months until I realized that you have changed your number. It was after months of “silence” that I realized that we are better strangers than we ever did.

I realized I didn’t know you that much. I never knew what your favorite color was. All I know is that, we share our favorite song – which you sing to me every night. You sing with all of your heart and soul every time.

You used to drag me on your gigs just to listen to you all night and take care of you when you’re drunk. I felt you knew me so well, but apparently, you don’t. And even good songs end, doesn’t it?

I clearly remember what you said that night; that perhaps, we’ll eventually meet again when we’re better for each other. Goddamn destiny for allowing us to meet months before my wedding day.

Goddamn destiny for giving me a closure I should’ve gotten 7 years ago. Goddamn destiny for letting me see what you have posted. You’re regretting? Bullshit. You don’t go on breaking someone else’s heart and tell them you regret everything after 7 years.

I cannot forget how I cried every night just to console myself that you never really left me and it’s not my fault because you were never really there. I can’t even imagine that I am once a part of your life because I never felt I did.

To be honest, I never recognized that it’s you, not until I heard you sing us a sample of ‘Sweet Disposition’ God knows how amazing you are. It’s just sad hearing you sing, hitting the notes, but it was empty.

I never got that heart-jumping and goose bumps feeling I used to have 7 years ago. I guess so much had already changed and all we got were just tons of awful memories.

A memory that I broke my heart, loving you. A memory of you singing Power of Two, smiling whenever you sing “So we’re okay, we’re fine. Baby I’m here to stop your crying..”,

A memory of you telling me to let you go. A memory of me giving everything I could and a whole lot more of the memories that to you, I am still nothing. Maybe you’ll find your own piece of happiness soon like I did.

Maybe she can and she will show you the world. Maybe she will listen to you sing all day and all-night without getting tired of it. Maybe she will do all the things I did and maybe it will now be enough for you. 

In your sadness on my wedding day, be comforted by the fact that even if I will be promising my best to another man.. Don’t forget that I have given you my best, 8 years ago. It just turns out that you were not the best person to have it.

PS: Listen to I NEVER WANTED TO GO by Willamette Stone. It says so much about me. Sorry for posting this here. We both know we can't talk anymore. Be happy elsewhere. I am. 

Aika L-S.
2008
Faculty of Engineering