{California}
"Mrs. Carpenter," I breathed out, crying silently.
"Oh my god!" She sobbed covering her mouth.
"It's me- I'm here." I laughed before looking over at Aaron's bedroom window.
"I can see that," She smiled, wiping the tears from my cheeks.
"Can I come in?"
"Of course!" She spoke quickly, letting me inside.
The familiar smell of cashmere tickled my nose bringing me back to the summers I spent basically living here.
"I wanted to call-" I chocked.
"I'm just glad you're okay," She hugged me close to her chest, her staple scent intoxicating me.
"Versace still?" I smiled.
"I know some things have changed, but my perfume will never be one of them." She beamed, rubbing my back.
"How have you been?" I asked, following her to the couch.
"We're still healing," She paused, trying to stay grounded. "Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night thinking I'm late to drive Aaron to school." She laughed, flashing me a desperate look.
And that reminded me, Aaron was terrified of driving. Though we were sixteen and dumb, Aaron had priorities and standards that he wouldn't let himself fall beneath. He was the kind of person I wanted to be, but never could amount to the things he was doing at the time.
Best GPA campus wide, social life of a crazed baboon, and lastly, class president. It never occurred to me that maybe that's why I hated Blair so much, but now it's like a gun being held up to my head.
Aaron was the epitome of a perfect boyfriend, but perfect was the far from the words I would've used to describe him.
Charismatic, inspiring, exquisite, fascinating, modest, and virtuous.
Six powerful words that still fall short of honoring his short but impacting life.
I broke my own heart loving him.
But I still miss him so much.
Because it hurts when you have someone in your heart but you can't have them in your arms.
"You've moved on, right?" She asked, grabbing a tissue from the coffee table.
"It's complicated." I tried my best to spare the dramatics of my life.
"What's his name?" She poked.
"Um- Jack. But we're not-"
"You better hold onto him, California."
"Dating anymore." I finished, staring down at the glossy tile floors.
"Oh my," She covered her mouth.
"No it's fine!" I laughed, getting her to drop her hands. "We had our fun, right?" I asked, hoping she'd give me an answer that I've been waiting to hear for a long time now.
"You're smart, California. And I know that either way you'll find a damn good way to make the best of things. But the real question is, are you happy?" She questioned.
No, my mind shouted.
"Of course." I brushed it off, looking over at the gold clock on the wall.
"Then you've already made a change for the better." She kissed my forehead, standing up.
"I should get out of your hair," I followed her actions, hovering over the end table.
"I'm late for a banquet, but you can come by tomorrow if you'd like. I should be home by five pm tomorrow." She continued to wipe at her now completely dry face.
"My flights at three," I hesitated.
"Then you better call me, I can't stand not seeing your pretty face everyday." She forced a laugh, clearly overwhelmed.
"I will, I promise."
"I love you kid." She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, squeezing me tightly.
"I love you, too." I scrunched my nose to keep from crying.
"Goodbye sweetie." She let the both of us out, going our separate ways.
I thought seeing her would give me clarity, but I can't stop thinking about Aaron's room and how much I wanted to see it one last time. I lost my virginity in that room, to the one person I'd ever completely opened up to. Most people say their firsts are awkward, uncomfortable, painful, but mine wasn't. I got lost his eyes and the way they portrayed the moon through his slightly cracked window. His soft lips kissing the sides of my mouth, missing my lips every single time. He was nervous, and I could tell, the way his heart pounded against my bare chest. But I wouldn't have changed it for the world, because even after that day Aaron loved me the same, and I could've sworn we'd get married, but that was only until he died on the table right in front of me.
-
{One week later}
"You can't, I'll miss you too much." My mom frowned.
"I've already paid the final months rent." I bent over to pet her new new best friend.
"You can stay with me-" She begged for me not to leave.
"That's Harold's job," I laughed picking the fluffy cat up.
"Your all grown up," She cried out.
"And I have to go, don't make me be late for my flight." I kissed her cheek, handing over the ten pound cat.
"Okay," She sighed, giving Harold a treat.
"I love you, mom. I'll call you when I land." I waved goodbye running towards the cab outside.
"Bye!" She lifted up Harold's paw.
New York here I come
-
please don't hate me for the short chapter. I figured you guys deserved one after all of my dramatics..
but I do need a favor,
do you guys want Jack to stay a regular college student or would you like him to pursue his music career with Johnson, none of that Magcon shit.
but please comment so I know.
my dogs sleeping on my chest right now, and I'm feeling really blessed. Thank you all, really.
goodnight. xx
{vote} :-)
