Alpha's Hideaway [h.s.]

Chapter 29

Harry

Tuesday December 12, 2011

It was a windy night, the breeze was cold and the air was bitter. Me and the boys are heading to a bonfire just right outside of the pack house. A lot of shit goes down when the night is young, and luckily for me that was my kind of night.

"C'mon Hazza!" Niall calls as he and Louis run in front of me, trying to get a good seat while I on the other hand decided just to take my time.

"Relax idiot it's a fucking fire I don't think it's going anywhere." I shrug and light my cigarette, I place it between my lips and take a drag out of it. I blow out a puff of smoke and let it linger in the air, the sight was intoxicating. It was like a breath of fresh air on a cold night. I finally caught up to the boys and took a seat next to Louis who was mindlessly scrolling through his phone. Louis didn't really care about outings like this, he would much rather stay inside and remain quiet but Niall was a total frat boy and dragged him along so wherever Niall goes Louis follows. I on the other hand only agreed to go because I wanted to get high, something that my mom gets really mad about but I never give a fuck. We buried my father yesterday which had to be the most hardest thing to do but I had to get over it, so getting high was the way to go.

"Here is to the Alpha!" Niall shouts as everyone holds up their cups full of liquor. I just watch unamused.

"To the Alpha!" Everyone cheers.

"Have a drink Haz." Niall slurs.

"I'll think I'll pass." I say taking out another cigarette. I wasn't planning on getting drunk just in case I had to babysit these two.

"Suit yourself." He walks away.

I sigh and continue to smoke on my cigarette. I look around and see all the pack members socializing and drinking amongst each other. Some where my father's warriors and others were just friends. I didn't really know any of them so I could care less. People use partying as an distraction to disguise the real pain that is deep down inside, it's just a poor excuse not to confront your problems. I wasn't using this as a distraction, I was using it like an escape. The big difference from those two is that I'm not trying to hide all my issues, instead I'm embracing it. Embracing the gift of freedom and peace, some other packs don't have the luxury we do, some packs stay guarded and don't let loose. My father said that packs shouldn't live in poverty, they should live in free will and harmony. I never take things for granted and if I did I would be eternally sinned. My sins are the only thing keeping me together at this point and without them I would surely loose it.

"Well look who it is." A familiar voice spoke. I look up to see him walking towards me with a smirk. He stands in front of me with a beer in his hand. I narrow my eyes and pull the cigarette out between my teeth.

"Hello Zayn." I greet and he pulls me into a brotherly hug.

"Haven't seen you in awhile, how's it going mate?" He asks taking a seat next to me.

"It's okay." I shrug causally. He looks at me strangely.

"Okay? Dude your father just died and you think that's okay?" He says in disbelief.

"People die we get over it and move the fuck on." I say blowing another puff of smoke into the air.

"Okay I'll just take that as the weed talking." He laughs and I stare at the fire.

"So have you found your mate yet?" He asks and I shake my head.

"Nope." I say emotionally.

I haven't really thought about finding my mate, nor did I really care at this point. She's probably just gonna be another bitch who I just fuck around with and leave. I've been doing a lot of screwing around lately, right after the funeral I hooked up with a girl from the reception and fucked her in the bathroom. I was physically fine but emotionally I was bruised. Sex was the only thing on my mind in that moment, it wasn't hard for me to get a girl anyways. They practically throw themselves at me without a care. My father used to tell me that finding my mate would be the most wonderful thing in the world, but right now it seemed like the worst thing to possibly have. I don't need some slut to rule with, I can do it all by myself.

"Don't worry I'm sure she's out there waiting for you." He pats my back.

"I can't wait." I say sarcastically.

"You really need to stop smoking." He chuckles.

"Trust me mate, smoking is the only thing keeping me from loosing it right now." I smirk and stand up.

"Where are you going?" He asks.

"Home. Tell Louis and Niall I'll see them later." I tell him and he nods. I start to make my way back home. When I arrived at my front door I opened it only to be met with my mom holding a tiny a bag in her hand.

"Where the hell where you?" She asks her voice raising slightly. I roll my eyes and walk past her.

"Harry Edward Styles don't you dare walk away from me!" She follows me into the kitchen.

"What do you want mother?" I sigh taking a water bottle out of the fridge.

"Why did I find this in your room?" She holds up a bag of weed and my eyes widen.

"Why the hell were you going through my shit?!" I yell in anger.

"Oh no don't you raise your voice at me Harold, tell me why did I find drugs in your room?" I growl.

"Maybe Gemma put it there." I shrug and she laughs bitterly.

"Yeah Harry, why would your fourteen year old sister place drugs in your drawer?" I laugh.

"Hey it's 2015 anything is possible." I smirk and start to walk away from her again.

"This isn't funny Harry!" She yells.

"I don't know mom it all kinda seems a little amusing to me." I fire back.

"You are grounded." She tells me.

"Oh like I haven't been that before." I start to walk up the stairs.

"What would your father think of your behavior?!" She asks and I freeze.

"Nothing. You wanna know why? Because dead people don't want anything! That's one of the joys of being dead." She goes silence.

"Yeah that's what I thought." Was the last thing I say to her. I slam the door to my room and fall back on my bed.

She doesn't know what the hell she's talking about. I don't have to explain anything to her, not like she'll understand anyways. I can do whatever I want to do, and if she doesn't like it then that's on her. I don't need constant fucking reminders of what my father would think. I already know what's he's thinking. He would say to me to pull my shit together an be a man but guess what? I'm not a man I'm a fucking teenager with issues who you should be very afraid of. I'm not going to think of the past. It's called the past for a reason, you never bring it up again, you let it go. Everyone tells me that I need help that I need to get fixed. Guess what people it's a bit more complicated then that. I'm a complete screw up and a dangerous person who you shouldn't fuck with. I may not be sure about a lot of things but I am sure about one thing.

I don't need to be fixed.

//

We're digging a little into Harry's past! I'm so excited. Here's a double post since you guys are so great! 💕