What Happens at the CCPD

Nightmares Part 2

Barry's foot lingered over the edge.

"What are you waiting for?" his mind asked.

Barry was lost in thought, "If he died, who would protect Central City? Who would stop the metas?"

His mind sneered at him, "You know everyone is capable of taking care of themselves. They don't need you. They don't even want you. You only bring pain and death. Why are you stalling? Just jump already. You want to be a hero? This is what heroes do. They sacrifice themselves to save lives. Or do you think your life is worth more than the lives of your friends and family? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that what happened with your mother? You decided that you were more important, and look where that got you. If you had died that night, your mom, your dad, Ronnie, Bette San Souci, Eddie, they would all still be alive. Iris would be happily married, as would Caitlin. Your parents would live to be old and happy. But you decided that you were more important. That your life was worth their happiness. Their lives. So what are you waiting for Barry? Jump."

And Barry jumped. 

**********

"What do you mean he's gonna kill himself?" Singh asked. 

"In his mind." Cisco said, "He's reliving his worst memories and a dark part of his mind is convincing him to kill himself."

"But it's all in his mind." Singh said, "So it can't hurt him, right?"

"Yes it can." Caitlin said, "If he dies in his mind, he dies in real life too." 

"How do we stop him?" Joe asked.

"We would have to talk to him, before it's to late," Caitlin said.

Cisco shook his head, "I'm afraid it's already too late. You should've heard the things his mind was telling him."

"We can't give up on him." Caitlin said forcefully, "He wouldn't give up on us. Now vibe us in Cisco."

Cisco pulled out his glasses and grabbed Caitlin's hand. "You coming Joe?" Joe nodded and put a hand on Cisco's shoulder. He vibed them in.

**********

The three entered Barry's mind and saw Barry take the final step off the cliff and plummet to his death.

"Barry!" Caitlin screamed, racing to the edge along with Joe and Cisco.

Joe's hand whipped out and caught his son's arm. He started to slide with him and Cisco grabbed his legs. Caitlin helped haul the men up.

"What are you doing!" Barry yelled angrily, yanking his arm away from Joe. "Why would you do that?"

"Why did I do that?" Joe asked, "Because I wasn't about to let you kill yourself!"

"No no no no no!" Barry screamed, running back towards the edge of the cliff.

Cisco grabbed him, "Barry! Stop it."

Joe enveloped him in a hug that he could not escape.

Caitlin was in tears, "Barry." she whispered. "Please."

Barry calmed down a litte upon hearing Caitlin's distress. He looked at her tear soaked face and immediately felt guilt. He did this to her. Made her feel this way.

"Some hero you are." His mind said. "Making your loved ones hurt like this. You can't do anything right can you?"

"Barry, please," Joe said, "Don't do this. Why would you do this?"

Barry sniffed, "I'm not a hero. I only bring pain and death to everyone around me. That ends now."

"You are a hero Barry," Cisco said, "You're everyone's hero. You're my hero. And you're my best friend."

Barry wiggled, trying to break free of Joe's iron grip. 

"But I'm the reason for everything bad that has ever happened." Barry said, "I'm the reason my parents are dead. The reason Ronnie is dead. And Eddie. And everyone that has suffered at the hands of Zoom. If I had just died to begin with, none of this would have ever happened!"

"Barry, you know we don't blame you for any of that." Caitlin said.

"Well you should," Barry said angrily, "It's all my fault."

"No Barry." Joe insisted, "It's not."

Barry frowned at them. They had every reason to hate him. To get rid of him. 

'Not that they'd care anyway,' his mind said. 'All you are is a pair of legs to them. They just don't want to lose that.' 

"Barry, what are you thinking?" Caitlin asked, seeing her friend's facial expression change. Barry didn't respond. "Barry?" 

Barry still didn't acknowledge. 

Caitlin swallowed thickly, hoping he wasn't thinking what she thought he was thinking. "Barry," she said softly, "You aren't just a pair of legs."

Barry's head whipped up and his eyes widened.

"Barry, you're our friend." Caitlin said, "Hell, you're our family! We love you and if we lost you we would be heartbroken. Heartbroken at the loss of Barry Allen. Not the Flash. I would rather lose the Flash than Barry."

Barry just stared at her.

Caitlin held out her hand, "Come back Barry. Please."

Slowly, Barry reached out and grabbed her hand. "Okay." he whispered

*********

Barry blinked, slowly coming back to reality. 

He sat up a little and was instantly tackled with a hug from Cisco and Caitlin. 

"Don't you ever do that again Barry Allen," Caitlin scolded. 

"Yeah," Cisco said, "If you do, we'll make Oliver tell us how to use the Lazarus pit and bring you back to life so we can yell at you for being an idiot."  

"Are you okay?" Joe asked.

Barry smiled and nodded. 

He knew he'd be okay. And if he wasn't, he had people who'd help him be okay. 

**********

A/N- SERIOUSLY. I could've sworn I already published this like three weeks ago. I am so so sorry that it took so long. I was sure I published it. Oh well. Here y'all go! 

Love y'all! :)