What Happens at the CCPD

Memories Part 2

Barry's journal sat on David's table, unopened. 

And David sat staring at it for a good thirty minutes. 

He had no idea what he might see. And he knew that it was a total invasion of Barry's privacy, but he was just so ridiculously curious.

So slowly, he opened the front cover. 

The front cover read:

If you're not me, Barry, put this journal back where you found it. Thank you. Have a nice day.

It was poorer handwriting that what David was used to, so he assumed a younger Barry wrote this. He wondered how long Barry had had this. 

The first page answered his question.

March 27, 2000 - age 11

That was only nine days after Nora Allen's death. 

David started reading. 

The therapist gave me this journal. She said to put write and draw in it because it would help. I agreed, because the other option was more drugs. So journal it is.

There was a flash of light and David was in a white room where Barry and a tall brunette were sitting across from each other. 

"Barry, I would like you to have this," she said, handing Barry a much newer version of the journal David was currently holding. 

Barry looked at it with a frown.

The woman continued, "I would like you to write in this. Or draw. Anytime you are thinking of your mother's death or things related. Or just any time at all."

"Why," Barry snapped, "So you all can find more reason's to call me crazy?"

Her shoulder's slumped slightly. "Barry I won't even look at it if you don't want me to. Besides, if you don't do this then the doctors want me to try another medication. I didn't want that and I assume you don't either."

Barry looked at her again, not as harshly this time. 

"Please Barry."

Barry nodded once, "Alright."

She smiled. "Thank you Barry. I really think it'll help. Will you let me know if it does? Honestly."

Barry nodded again, "Yeah." He stood up and turned the journal in his hands a few times. "Have a good day Dr. Wilson."

"You too Barry." she said.

The bright light made it's presence again and David was back sitting at his dining room table. He licked his lips and turned the page.

November 14, 2000 - age 12

They fired Dr. Wilson. But all the other shrinks are so horrible! At least Dr. Wilson would listen to me. All these people want to do is stuff me with drugs. I think they enjoy telling other people and me that I have some loose screws. 

But lately, I've started purposefully being difficult. I've ditched five shrinks that way. None of them want to work with me. Take that. 

David felt bitterness and resentment flow through him. He knew it wasn't his, but the anger he was feeling reading this entry definitely was. 

The bright light came again as David was sucked into another memory. 

"Honestly, Allen," A man who David assumed was one of the shrinks said, "Stop being so difficult. You may have driven away all your other doctors, but I won't be so easily swayed."

Barry scowled at him, "You're just here to tell me that I'm crazy."

The dark haired man sighed and folded his hands, "You're not crazy Barry, you just can't accept the truth."

"Yes. I can." Barry said.

Singh could tell the doctor was getting frustrated. "Allen, you need to just face the facts. You father killed your mother in cold blood. He probably intended to kill you too but you got away."

Barry snapped. 

He lunged at the doctor and punched him repeatedly until the bigger man threw him off and glared at him.

"You are certifiably insane." He growled, then stormed out. 

Joe came running in and then they were at Joe's house. Barry bolted up to his room and slammed the door shut.

He started sobbing into his pillow.

"I'm not crazy," He cried, muffled into his pillow. 

"I'm not crazy." He repeated.

He continued to repeat that and David felt his heart break for the boy. It was a wonder that Barry was the cheerful person he was today. David's heart clenched again upon remembering that this same boy was currently in a coma after being struck by lightning. 

He was so lost in his own thoughts, he missed coming back to reality. Not being able to help himself, he continued onto the next entry.

December 24, 2000 - age 12

Christmas is stupid. I hate Christmas. I may sound like the Grinch, but I could care less. Why do there have to be so many holidays to remind me of what I lost? It hurts so much. I miss my mom. I miss my dad. My dad should be here. Even if mom were gone, he and I would sit, snuggled up in blankets, and looking at pictures of past Christmases with mom. We would be remembering her together. But instead they locked dad up and took my last family member away from me. 

David was drawn into another memory, and he gasped at the wave of pain and anguish that overtook him.  

Barry sat at his desk in his room, scribbling in his journal. He had tears running down his face. 

There was a knock at Barry's door, and Barry's pencil paused.

"Bar?" Joe's voice came through the wood. "Can you come downstairs? We have hot coco and we are gonna turn on White Christmas."

Barry tensed. David saw another memory of Barry's drift in front of him. A memory of Barry and his parents snuggled up watching White Christmas before they set out cookies for Santa.

Barry broke into a fresh wave of silent tears. 

"Go away!" Barry coked out.

David just wanted to reach out and hug Barry. He wanted to wrap him in a hug and tell him that everything was going to be okay. 

He heard Joe's footsteps retreat and Barry sobbed harder. 

David was pulled out of the memory with a gasp. He reached up and felt his face, not surprised to find it wet with tears. 

He closed the journal. 

He couldn't read it all in one night. He definitely wouldn't be able to handle it. But he was going to open it again. He was going to learn about Barry Allen. Maybe then he would be a better boss for him. Maybe then he would be a better person.

He closed his eyes and his heart hurt, thinking of the boy who may ever open his eyes again. 

Tomorrow. He promised himself. He would open it back up tomorrow.

To be Continued...

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A/N- Another part in! Yay! I'm actually really excited about this story. Thank you so much for the request. 

Love y'all! Hope you're having a good day/night! :)