𝗠𝗼̈𝘁𝗹𝗲𝘆 𝗖𝗿𝘂̈𝗲 𝗜𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀 🤍

❤️ 𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 {𝗡𝗶𝗸𝗸𝗶 𝗦𝗶𝘅𝘅}

Hey! So... this imagine is based on the song 'Someone You Loved' by Lewis Capaldi. It's written slightly different to the rest of my imagines in this book, as it doesn't really contain any dialogue it's just kinda like an internal monologue.

Also, I quite like the song and thought it went quite well with Nikki soo.... this imagine kinda happened.

It doesn't completely follow song, it's more inspired by it than anything and if you enjoy these lyric based imagines then, I've got more lined up with the other guys!

Disclaimer: References to drug use.

Enjoy!

•🔥•

Nikki's POV, 1988

I was clean.

Finally, after being at the mercy of heroin for 4 years I was finally free.

I forgot what it was like to feel, I'd numbed myself with drugs for so long- I forgot what it was like to be human.

Being clean has changed my life... but I was alone.

I wasn't always alone, but thanks to my selfish drug fuelled mind I ended up pushing away the one good thing I had in my life... the only thing that kept me alive.

Y/N.

She was everything to me, I met her in school and I became so attached to her so quick it fucking terrified me, I fell in love with her and relied on her because she was the only sense of normality in my childhood.

She showed me the love I craved when nobody else bothered too. So, when I finally decided to runaway to L.A, I had begged her to come with me because there was no way in hell I was going without her- I wasn't going to leave behind the only thing I truly loved.

She'd saved me from the deepest depression back as a child and then kept me from the same fate as an adult but I fucked that up. If you want to be specific, I fucked it up 3 years ago.

And although I'm now clean I still have a hole in my heart- a void which Y/N left, one I tried to fill with more heroin but it never did.... heroin just numbed it to the point where I thought I'd filled it. But fuck, it never did.

Being clean has highlighted to an unbearable degree just now much she meant to me and how much I lost now she's gone. I did the one thing I swore to myself I'd never do, I threw her away and knowing that drove me crazy.

I got blinded by how the drugs made me feel, I thought I was being healed from all the shit I'd gone though.. but no... she helped me heal. I needed her to heal.

One person truly knows me.

Just one.... just Y/N.

Not my grandparents, not the boys.. not even my own mother knew everything about me, well, not that she cares anyway.

Only, Y/N does. I trusted her more than I can say, she never judges me- I told her my deepest darkest secrets and she told me hers. I truly believe she is my soulmate because how I feel around her is indescribable. Back in the early days of the band- before my mistakes- I used to dedicate all my time to her.