𝗠𝗼̈𝘁𝗹𝗲𝘆 𝗖𝗿𝘂̈𝗲 𝗜𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀 🤍

❤️ 𝗛𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂 {𝗡𝗶𝗸𝗸𝗶 𝗦𝗶𝘅𝘅}

This was a request from the wonderful justmaves, thank you for the idea, this was a good one to write.

I hope you enjoy it 😇

•🔥•

Nikki's POV, 1990

Y'know when you love someone, like totally fucking love them and you've been pining over them secretly for years for them never to notice, then for them to find find someone who makes them happy and unintentionally break your heart in the process? Because I do and it fucking hurts.

I love someone who I can't ever have.

The girl in question is someone I've known since school, we met in sixth grade and I've had feelings for her since the seventh grade, I never had the courage to tell Y/N I love her, even after all this time, I just couldn't in case I lost her and I couldn't lose that woman- she's been by my side through so much shit, I wouldn't know how to exist without her.

It stabs me in the heart whenever I see her and her boyfriend, Daniel, together, they've been together for almost three years and that scares me, the longer that passes the more I think about how he could ask Y/N to marry him and I can't watch her marry another man, not after loving her for as long as I have.

I'm happy for her, I'm happy she found someone who loves her but I just wish I was the one who made her happy, her and Daniel were good match together I guess although I didn't like him all that much.

I'm civil to him for Y/N's sake, and that's it.

I've tried to get over my feelings for Y/N, I've dated my fair share of women but he maximum length of any of those relationships was three months, I just couldn't put my heart into a relationship because I wasn't with who I truly wanted to be with so I'd rather be single.

Like pretty much everyday, I was home alone- Tommy paid me a couple of visits a week because he's clingy like that, Vince also comes over at least once a week mainly because he knows how I feel about Y/N and consistently preaches to me that I should stop being a pussy and just tell her I love her and damn the repercussions but it's easy for him to say, Y/N's pretty much the only person I've ever had who I can rely on.

She was my only true friend when I was growing up.

Vince had the ability to have friends, to have a family who gave a fuck about him, he didn't have to bolt his bedroom door shut every night in fear of being attacked in the middle of the night by some random drunk asshole his mom had dragged home with her. He had a normal childhood, something I could only cry myself to sleep over when I was a kid, wishing I had a better life.

He tried to understand and so do the other guys, they try to understand my reasoning as to why I can't tell Y/N how I feel about her, they try and understand that she's more than just my friend, she's my lifeline but they can't because they haven't experienced and seen the things I have.

It sucks, but what can I do? I've just got to put up with them not being able to understand, I appreciate that they want me to tell her so I can be happy but it's just frustrating because I can't. So that's that.

I hadn't done anything today, there was nothing for me to do, so sitting watching TV seems a good way to pass time. Many minutes go by of me mindlessly watching TV when then out of nowhere suddenly I then hear a series of knocks at my front door, I looked vaguely in the direction of the sound and furrowed my eyebrows a little, not expecting anyone to be coming over- I get up and make my way over to the front door, unlocking it and then pulling it open to be greeted by the last person I expected to see today, it was Y/N.