avengers imagines

back to you || sebastian stan (pt. 2 to still love him)

a/n: i realized i never named the girl who sebastian was seeing, so her name is haisley. sorry if that's your name:)

omg this is 1.2k words, i havent written something this long in forever-

2 months later

sebastian's p.o.v.

i was sat on my couch next to haisley, the girl i risked my friendship with y/n for. we were watching a movie, it was probably our ninth date.

my mind was focused on anything but the movie. focused on anything but haisley. as much as i tried to pay attention and make myself seem interested, i just couldn't. don't get me wrong, haisley is amazing, she's so kind and sweet, but she's not y/n. nobody can ever compare to y/n.

(text messages)

y/n <3

me:

hey, how are you

erased

hell

delivered

shit i meant hello. fuck, i really miss

you, y/n.

y/n:

hello, sebastian

"sebastian?" haisley called out. i looked up from my phone. "wh- what?"

she sighed, "are you even here?" i locked my phone, wanting so badly to respond to y/n. "yeah, yeah of course. i'm here.." i said, unsure of myself. "lately you've been.. i don't know, distant. like everytime we go on dates, you're on your phone. you don't even pay attention to me anymore." she ranted.

"haisley.. i'm so sorry, i just.. there's something going on right now-" i said. "tell me. you can tell me anything, i can handle it." she said. "i- i can't, i'm so sorry.." i said, looking away from her.

she sighed, nodding her head. "then this isn't going to work out." she finally stated. i knew it was coming, but it was so devastating hearing those words roll off her tongue. "i'm so sorry, haisley." i whispered.

"yeah, me too." she got up putting on her coat and grabbing her purse, then walking out of my house.

i never cried, but when it came to y/n, i may just let a tear fall. i gave up y/n for some girl, some random girl. everytime i think of what i said to her, i mentally punched myself. knowing y/n, she probably reread that paragraph that i sent her over, and over again. i thought about how many times she may have just wanted to call me, but decided against it.

i thought of how if i just showed up to her house on our traditional movie night, i may not be where i am now.

i thought of how my words impacted her so much. my words that i sent through text, words i could've deleted, sent something new, and apology for fighting, an "i don't want to lose you" message.

but i decided to tell her she was needy. that i needed space to breathe. which ended up backfiring. clearly. because now i was sitting here needing her more than ever. i had no clue if there was anyway i could possibly get her back. if she even wanted me back. i had no clue where to even begin. it feels like i haven't talked to her in forever, but it's only been 2 months. i'm afraid that if i tried to talk to her, i wouldn't know how to act.

but nonetheless, i facetimed her.

and she answered almost instantly, as if nothing had ever happened.

"hey, seb.." she said softly. she had puffy eyes, her hair was in a messy bun and she was wearing a hoodie. a hoodie that i recognized instantly, only because it used to be mine. she had loved it so much that i decided to give it to her, no matter how much i loved it.

after, noticing her state, i took a minute to admire her beauty. she had been crying, it was noticeable to the naked eye, but she still looked gorgeous. she always did. i thought about why i even left her in the first place. she was literally perfect.

"hey.." i said, matching her soft tone. she scanned my face for a second, frowning a bit. "have you been crying?" she asked. her voice was angelic. i could listen to her talk all day without getting tired of her voice.

"uh.. ye- yeah.." i replied sadly, being taken back by the question. " do you want to talk about it?"

and unlike with haisley, i could talk to her. about anything. which made me realize why haisley and i will never work out. on the other hand, y/n.. she was just so easy to talk to. i could talk to her until 2am without running out of things to say.

"well- i.." i began to say, not really knowing how to say it. "take your time." you said, giving me a soft, reassuring smile. "well, haisley, we decided- well she.. she uh.. she decided to end things."

y/n's frown returned. "did you only call me because she left you..? is that what we've come to.." she said sadly.

my eyes widened. "what? no, no, no! no, y/n, it's not like that, i promise. trust me, i would never use you like that.." i said.

she unconvincingly nodded. "you don't believe me.." i said. she shook her head, looking down. "what can i do, y/n" i said.

"i don't know, sebastian. how.. how can i trust you? how can i believe what you say? you never let out your feelings about me until you texted.. i thought i was justing being a good friend, and i thought you enjoyed it, but you were lying. you hated it, when i acted.. needy.." she finally let out all the things she wanted to say to me within these 2 months.

i moved away from my phone to the point where i was out of the camera and she couldn't see me. i let tears fall down my face. i covered my mouth so that she wouldn't hear my silent cries.

"sebby..? i'm sorry, i didn't mean to.." she said. i sniffed. "it's okay, don't worry." i said, sounding congested, something that happened to me everytime i cried.

"seb? are you crying?" though she couldn't see me, i could still see her. and as i liked at my phone screen, i saw her saddened expression. she hated when i cried, as i hated when she did, too.

"yes.." i admitted, a sob accidently escaping my mouth. "i really fucking miss you, y/n.. i'm so sorry, for everything i said. you're not needy, god you're.. you're fucking perfect. i messed up so bad.. fuck it, you can call me needy if you want, cause i fucking need you right now." i cried.

"i can come over." she said, trying to make me feel better. "re- really..?" i asked, not believing her.

"of course. remember when i told you i'd always be here for you?"

"of course i fucking remember." i said.

"i meant it." she replied.

"you know, i love you." i slipped up, being caught up in the heat of the moment. she was taken aback. "you- what?" she said, shocked. i decided to say it proudly. "i love you, maybe i've always loved you, even since the moment we.. we broke up.." i said. "but all i know is, even if you're mad, or upset with me, i'll always love you. nobody could ever compare to you."

she smiled sheepishly, a tear running down her pink cheeks. "i'm on my way." she said, a huge grin appearing on my face.

"okay." i said softly. "and sebastian?" she said.

"yes?"

"i love you too."