avengers imagines

• What Are We Doing? || Bucky Barnes •

my b for not doing bucky in a while :o. but anyways, this is inspired by a scene from 'that 70's show' uwu.
~
"hey, buck" you said, entering the training room that bucky was in. "busy." he grumbled, punching the bag angrily. "i see that," you rolled your eyes. "can we talk later?" you questioned, though you wouldn't take no for an answer. "yeah, sure." he said sarcastically.

at least, you thought, that was somewhat a yes. you waited until after he finished his training and took a shower before going to talk to him.

you found him in the kitchen drinking gatorade.

"can we talk now?" you said, sitting in a chair next to him. "make it quick." he rolled his eyes.

huh, so this b*tch was really testing your patience today?

oh, a backstory! yes, one of those. it's a short one, to be honest. friends with benefits. that's all. back to the story.

"what's going on? why have you been so distant?" you asked, getting to the point. normally, you'd start with "hey, buck! how was your day?" but this wasn't normal. it's not normal for your unofficial boyfriend to be distant. not normal for your boyfriend who's not actually your boyfriend to be distant.

"why do you care?" he said, almost snorting. he also rolled his eyes for the millionth time today. "because i care about you?" you said. "why?" "because i like you, bucky!"

he was taken aback by my sudden statement, and honestly, so was i. "i mean.." i tried to say, though i couldn't even physically form words. i've kept those words, my emotions, bottled up for so long.. it feels so weird to finally let them out. though, not the way i wanted to.

i wanted to maybe do it at a beach or over dinner, not whilst we were practically arguing. "you.. like me?" he said. he seemed.. disgusted? "yes." "i didn't sign up for love." he said sternly. "i thought you felt the same?" you questioned. steve, wanda, nat, sam, even tony had told you that they were certain bucky liked you. looks like all of you miscalculated.

"no. i don't, actually." he said, though he sounded unsure of himself. like the words were coming out of his mouth but his mind was thinking something completely different. "why not..?" i questioned. yeah, i was scared to know the answer but i had to know why. even you had thought there was at least an ounce of love that he had for you.

"i don't want to be with anyone. i don't want commitment." god, the winter soldier is coming out. i'm joking. you rolled your eyes. "really, buck? that's it??" you were annoyed. you thought you weren't good enough, not pretty enough for bucky, but this was all his doing.

"i don't want a future with you, that's what it is! friends with benefits was all this was supposed to be!" he snapped. what the hell? jesus, take the wheel. "you know what? if you can see a future without me, and that doesn't like, break your heart, then we're not doing what i thought we were doing.. and, maybe.. we shouldn't even see each other anymore!" you yelled. you never yelled at anyone, you were always so kind, so positive. but, of course, bucky brought out the worse in you.

"maybe we shouldn't." he said, sulking in his chair.

you got up, quite dramatically, may i add, and went to your room, slamming your door shut. bucky most definitely heard.

an hour later, bucky's p.o.v. ~
"dude, what the hell?" steve said, walking in my room to see my drinking some vodka. "what." i groaned. "why did you do that? why did you do that to y/n?" he questioned, though he continued before i could respond. "you like her, i know you do!" he yelled.

"yeah, i do."

"so what the f*ck man??"

"commitment" i grumbled. it's true, it was the thing i was most afraid of. back in the 40's, oh was i a gentleman. though, everytime i commited to a relationship, it always ended badly. neither one of us could stay committed, as horrible as that sounds. i couldn't do that to y/n, just break her heart. that's why i wanted to be friends with benefits, so i could experiment, y'know, with others. god, do i sound like a monster.

but, it turned into something more. feelings. yeah, i like y/n, too. but if it ends badly, i don't want to lose her. i'd rather have her as a friend in my life than not have her in my life at all.

but, alas, i ruined that, too. cause' before we could even get into a relationship, i f*cked it up. because i was 'scared.' pathetic.

"you're pathetic." steve said, almost slapping me across the face, before i instinctively moved away.

"yeah, i got that." i said. he really thinks he'll be able to lay a finger on me?

"tell her. tell her you like her." steve demanded.

"i can't."

"dude, she likes you! and you like her!" he complained like a 5 year old.

"well that's unfortunate, isn't it?"