avengers imagines

letters to you // bucky barnes (pt.2)

y/n,

thank you for writing to me and for thinking of me and doing all of those sweet things. i still keep the polaroid of us in our wallet. if i'm being honest i was too scared to write back. but it's 3am right now and i feel like i need to. i also apologize for taking so long to write back to you. but, when i gave you the letter at the beginning of our relationship, you never wrote back to me. until now, i suppose. so i guess the wait is fair. i also want you to know that i didn't just skim through the letters. i read each of them a million times, especially the last one. i don't know why i wanted to share that with you, but it's true.

steve has been telling me about you, too. i never ask him to, but he does it anyway. he must know that i still love and care about you, even though we're not together. one of my favourite parts of the day is when steve tells me about how much better you're doing. and i'm so proud and happy for you.

i keep myself busy throughout the day. or i try to. but just know, every night when i lay in bed, i think about you. and it's a bittersweet feeling because we did what was best for us. i'm glad we didn't end in a fight or ended up hating each other. i can think about our memories and all the good times. sometimes that's what gets me through the day.

also, i did buy a new chain. i keep the necklace next to the pictures of us on my dresser. i see it everyday when i get ready and i think about you more than i already do.

you deserve the world, y/n. and i want you to move on. i'll be okay. i don't know if i'm ready to completely move on, to put myself out there, or if i'm even close, but just know that i'll be okay. i want you to be happy.

i hope one day you find someone and you fall in love and make even more memories together. i hope you choose to tell me about these memories. and i hope we can talk as friends and share all of our great accomplishments and i can tell you about how i'm make amends and trying to be better. and finally, i hope you choose to invite me to your wedding in the future. i completely understand if that's weird or too much to ask, but i hope to receive an invitation and see your name printed out in a pretty font next to someone else's. i'll invite you to mine, if want to come. all i want is to see you happy.

i had so many things i wanted to tell you, but i'm tired and my brain feels empty. i think i've run out if things to say. my sweet y/n, this is our goodbye. this is the end of our love story. i'll always love you, y/n y/l/n. thank you for always believing in me. thank you for everything. i also hope you give me a chocolate bar one more time. and i can complain about how they used to be cheaper back in the day.

love always,
bucky.