avengers imagines

talk to me || bucky barnes

mentions from tfatws episode one only!
inspired by the song "talk to me" by cavetown

your p.o.v.

Anxiety, tossing, turning in your sleep
Even if you run away, you still see them in your dreams
It's so dark tonight, but you'll survive, certainly
It's alright, come inside, and talk to me

i sighed, lightly pulling the ends of my hair. i stared at the screen that had only a few words typed out. ever since i joined the team, i haven't had much time to write, the only thing that kept me calm.

a knock on the door startled me for a second, but i instantly knew it was bucky. i let him in, taking in his flushed cheeks and swollen eyes.

i knew of bucky's nightmares. he's been my best friend ever since steve recruited me in 2016. bucky often comes to my room to calm down, which i've never minded.

instantly, he pulled me into his embrace, lightly sobbing. he was much taller than me so he had to crouch down a bit. i sighed into his chest, wrapping my arms around him.

"come lay down," i said, and he nodded, walking over. he always took the left side. he rested his head on my chest, a position we were always in whenever he had a nightmare.

when he got settled into my bed, i immediately wrapped my arms around him again. "do you want to talk about it?" i whispered. he stayed silent for so long. either he didn't hear me, or he didn't want to speak. his silent cries were the only sound filling the room.

"i killed him, y/n.." he finally said, breaking the silence. my eyes travelled down to his, which were squeezed shut. "i can see him so clearly. i killed him."

"who?" i brought my hand up to play with his hair, something that often helped him calm down, even a little bit.

"yori's son. rj. i killed his son, y/n."

"bucky.." i sighed. "it wasn't your fault. you have to understand that. hydra.. they made you do it."

"but i did it.." his tears stained my shirt, but i didn't mind. i remembered the stories bucky told me about yori. he would tell me about how bad he felt for him, how his son left and never came back.

We can talk here on the floor
On the phone, if you prefer
I'll be here until you're okay
Let your words release your pain
You and I will share the weight
Growing stronger day by day

"you're now the winter solider, bucky. you're james buchanan barnes. you're a better person now. you're a hero. you wouldn't have done it if you had a choice."

"you don't understand, y/n. i can't take it, knowing that i've killed all those people. people who had families to go back to. yori is alone. he could be with his son right now if it wasn't for me."

he stayed quiet once more. "talk to me bucky.." i whispered to him. "let it out, it's okay." hearing those words made him sob even harder into my chest. the sounds made tears roll down my face.

all i kept thought about was how i wish i could take his pain away. this happy, enthusiastic, caring guy shouldn't have to deal with the weight of this on his shoulders.

"i'm trying, y/n... i did everything dr. raynor told me to do. they won't go away. the nightmares. they're gonna be here forever. what am i doing wrong?"

"you're not doing anything wrong, bucky. i promise. you need to do more than just make amends, okay? be there for them, tell them what they need to hear, not what dr. raynor's wants them to hear. give them closure. they deserve it, bucky."

he nodded, going silent once again. "bucky, i know you probably don't believe me, but you're a better person. please stop being so hard on yourself. they made you go from one mission to the next. you deserve to be happy. please let yourself be happy sometimes, alright?"

"thank you, i love you, y/n."

those words fell from his mouth so effortlessly, i smiled a bit. "i love you too. i'm always here for you, i promise."

"i know."

shortly, he fell asleep on my chest, listening to the sound of my heartbeat as it fluttered in my chest, finally feeling at peace with my hand playing with his hair.

if there's one place that can always make him happy, it's with you. wherever you are.

a/n: im not used to writing fluff so im sorry if this is bad 😃👍
also,,,,,,,

my heart goodbye