avengers imagines

still love him || sebastian stan

a/n: ignore grammatical errors lmao)
a little similar to "clingy" but not really

your p.o.v.

"yeah, i think i might like her. like really like her-" sebastian blushed on facetime. you felt your heart break inside your chest. "that's awesome seb." you tried your best to give him a smile.

"yeah so i'm thinking..." he rambled on and on, but you didn't really listen. "she said yes!" sebastian said about 15 minutes later. "hm..?" you said, coming back to reality.

"i'm going on a date with her! tomorrow at 7!" he said excitedly, his happiness reaching you on the other side of the line.

"that's amazing sebby. but you promised me we were gonna have a movie night tomorrow.." you didn't want to sound selfish, but you also didn't think it was fair for him to cancel plans with his long-time best friend to go on a date with someone he met not too long ago.

"oh. yeah.. uh, can we just do it saturday? you know how much this means to me. please?" he frowned, giving you puppy dog eyes.

"yeah, of course." you smiled. "you're the best! i've got something to do, i'll talk to you later!" he said, quickly hanging up the phone without even giving you a chance to say goodbye.

you remembered when you were that excited to go on a date with sebastian. he was the last person you've been on a date with, not quite ready to move on. sebastian, on the other hand, has been on a handful of dates since the two of you decided to split.

though, since he was your best friend, you thought it would be rude to end your friendship of over 20 years, so you remained his best friend as he remained yours.

but, he's clearly moved on, onto someone new. and you're still here.
still in love with you.

you've watched sebastian get ready for countless dates on different nights. this was the first time he's made other plans on movie night. you knew it was a dumb thing to be upset about, he promised a movie on saturday and we have movie nights every friday anyways.. but it felt weird. for years it had been a tradition to snuggle in, order pizza and watch a random film.

and now he was breaking the tradition.
for some girl?

maybe you shouldn't talk bad about her. you don't even know her. it felt wrong to already have something against her without even meeting her.

so you pushed aside your grudge, along with your feelings for sebastian, and tried your best to be happy for him when he called you later that night to tell you all about his date.

it made you sick to your stomach, hearing him blabber on and on about the fun they had.

we never had that much fun, you thought.

not as lovers, not as friends.

you were jealous that you weren't her. "it seems like you had fun, i'm so happy for you." you smiled at the screen. a half real, half forced smile. the mere thought of sebastian being happy made you give a slight smile.

"it was the most fun i've had in a while!" he said. ouch.

"you haven't been having fun with me..?" you said, hurt evident in your tone. "y/n, i didn't mean it like that-" sebastian was quick to say, but you shook your head. "it's fine, seb. promise."

he unconvincingly nodded. the rest of the call was awkward, making you hang up. the fact that he basically said he wasn't enjoying your time together still struck you in the heart.

were you the only one having fun?

you pushed that aside, too, and decided that it was best to just get some sleep. you climbed into your bed, pulling your warm covers over your body. you were quick to fall asleep.

you woke up to no texts from sebastian, normally he'd text you a simple goodmorning with a smiley face. you ignored it and made some breakfast, stopping when you heard your phone ding.

sebastian:
so, so sorry, y/n. can't
hangout again tonight,
she invited me over, how
cool, right? i think she
might like me back,
did i tell you we kissed
yesterday?

you:
yeah you did.

sebastian:
oh okay. well i'm so sorry
again. maybe we can hang
another time:)

you:
but you promised, seb

sebastian:
please, i don't want you
to be mad. i'm sorry,
i hope you can forgive me.
let's hangout tomorrow.

you:
are you gonna cancel
tomorrow?

sebastian:
y/n stop being extra.

you:
i'm being serious. i don't
wanna make plans just to
be disappointed when you
call and tell me you're
canceling to hang out with
another girl again.

sebastian:
i don't know why you're
so upset, honestly. it's not
like we're even dating. you
know, this is the reason i
broke up with you, because
you're so damn clingy.

you:
don't ever fucking call
me clingy ever again.
i'm not being "clingy."
have you ever realized
that it's because i care?

sebastian:
you don't have to be involved
with every single thing i do in
my life. let me breathe, y/n.
you're exhausting. sometimes
i need a break from you. you're
always so damn needy!
(i got that from an audio i
heard on dickdok.)

you read the text for at least 5 mintutes straight. he must've seen you left him on read.

sebastian:
y/n, i'm sorry. i really
didn't want to fight.

you left him on read again, not to be petty, but because you were still reading that text. he could've ripped your heart out instead. nothing was worse than knowing that you're "too much for anyone to handle." you didn't mean to be needy.

you did that because you really did care and just wanted to be around sebastian. you never realized that you always forced yourself into every little thing sebastian did. you didn't give him space, and got mad because he canceled plans twice out of everytime you've hung out.

you realized how amazing he was for dealing with you all this time, how hard it must've been to keep all of this in just to stop my feelings from being hurt.

me:
you're right, i'm so
sorry. i'll give you space.
i promise.

you let a tear fall before turning off your phone. you loved sebastian- you love sebastian with everything in you, and it was going to be hell trying your best to stay away from him.

but you did so.

for weeks, and weeks.

because you still love him.