Unruly Choice of Fate (COMPLETE)

37

Our last day passed like a whirl wind. Natapos ang huling gabi ng bakasyon namin na hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko dahil sa hindi namin pag-uusap ni Dreyco.

Alas cinco kami umalis ng resort para umuwi. Sabado na ng umaga at sa susunod na araw na ang pasok ko kaya kailangan ko nang bumili ng gamit sa school pag-uwi namin.

Niyakap ko ang unan na dala ni Helena na hiniram ko at tumulala sa labas ng bintana ng van. Binabaybay na namin ang daan pauwi sa syudad at pinili ko na magsalpak ng earphones sa tenga para libangin ang sarili ko kesa makisali sa usapan nila Beya sa harap. Ganon pa rin ang pwesto namin. Nasa tabi ko si Dreyco pero nakasiksik ako sa may bintana para hindi kami magkalapit sa isa't isa. I don't want to but I can't help but to think about him and Celine. Hindi ko sila nakitang magkasama sa resort pero doon pa lang sa kasama namin siya bumalik ay hindi na maganda ang pakiramdam ko.

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do

I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like.
And she'll never know your story like I do,

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's Cheer Captain, and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time.

I bit my lower lip when I heard taylor swift song 'you belong with me' and I started to feel irritated again. Tuwing naiisip ko talaga ang bagay na iyon, kahit pinipigilan ko ang sarili kong masaktan ay nasasaktan pa rin ako. Sumabay pa yung kanta sa nararamdaman ko. Napakurap ako ng may tumulong luha sa unan ni Helena. Inis na pinalis ko ito at pinilit na ibinaling ang atensyon sa ibang bagay. Tahimik na tumitig ako sa madilim na labas habang nakikinig ng kanta.

If you could see that I'm the one
Who understands you,
Been here all along
So, why can't you see?
You belong with me,
You belong with me.

This is not just a simple like anymore. Beya said that I was in love with Dreyco when I opened up to them last night. I've never been in love so I don't know if my feelings for him are really love. Naguguluhan pa rin ako sa nararamdaman ko.

Napabuntong hininga ako ng makaramdam ng pagkabagot sa kawalan ng ginagawa. Isinubsob ko ang mukha ko sa unan at nanatili sa ganong posisyon habang nag-iisip.

Am I really in love with him?

Just by thinking about him, my heart is already bursting with different emotions I can't name. Hindi ko alam kung kailan nagsimula ang ganitong pakiramdam ko dahil hindi ko naman ito napapansin noon. Ngayon lang dahil sa pinag-usapan namin nila Beya kagabi. They feel the same feeling I have with their boyfriend.

Do I really love him?

Gusto ko ng sabunutan ang sarili ko dahil hindi ko masagot sagot ang tanong ko sa sarili. How can I make sure that I am really in love with him?

Can't you see that I'm the one
Who understands you?
Been here all along
So, why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your backdoor
All this time how could you not know, baby?
You belong with me
You belong with me,
You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me?