Band One Shots

You're A Toxic Drug

•Kellin•

I walked out of my restroom and back to my bedroom. I walked over to my drawer, ignoring all the girls and guys in my bed. I guess I'm what you call a rich lowlife. I drink and do drugs up the ass and have sex with lots of men and women once at a time or all together.

I guess my reasoning is because I stopped caring about everything. After he left me, it all went down the shitter for me and I indulged into a world of pleasure. I used to be religious and believe adultery was a sin, but now I believe that sex is just something you can't live without. Sex is the most effective drug for me. It can either give me a euphoric feeling and is afterwords followed by crashing and feeling pathetic again or it can completely leave you numb. However, there's always that one drug that gives you a euphoric feeling and soon afterwards, you feel just fine even after the high wears off.

I put back what I was planning on taking out. I went over to my bed and sat at the edge, resting my head on my hands. I felt multiple sets of hands on my back. I felt kisses being left all over me; from my back, my shoulders, and arms. I lifted my head up and turned around.

"Get out! Get out of my house please!" I yelled. They all looked at me in shock, but I didn't care. I watched as they all fumbled around and soon they were all gone.

I couldn't help the overwhelming sense of solitude and worthlessness take over me. I couldn't control myself, I let my demons and the drugs take over my whole body. I grabbed a picture frame that stood by my bed that held a picture of him and myself and tossed it across the room, the frame breaking as soon as it made contact with the wall.

I ran around the room grabbing breakable object, throwing them and watching as they smashed once they made contact with the wall. I didn't care that glass was cutting me on my foot, I was too numb and couldn't feel a thing. I walked over to my drawer again and pulled out what I planned on pulling out earlier. I grabbed it and put some of it on a small tray. I grabbed a card and separated it into multiple thin rows. I just smiled at it and dipped my head down, I moved my head so that I could snort it and feel the full effects of it. Cocaine was my go to.

I was on my third row when I heard the bedroom door open. I turned my head to the direction of the door and saw, him. Since I wasn't high yet, due ton the fact that I've done way worst that this doesn't even phase me, I still knew what was currently happening. However, I couldn't fathom what was exactly happening mentality wise. I was shocked, that's for sure. I was confused too.

"Vic?" I asked.

"Kellin, what the fuck are you doing? I thought you would've gotten rid of that stuff!" he replied in a tone full of disappointment.

"I-i" I stuttered. In all honesty, I didn't know what to say. The only person I've ever loved is standing not too far from me. The one who left me for dead.

"I came back, because I was hoping you'd stop and to be able to ask for your forgiveness and if we could start again, but now that I see that you can't even stop, I don't even know if want you back!" he yelled.

I stood up and walked over to him. I looked at him; worry, sadness, and anger was all I felt. I wanted so badly to yell at him and just punch him for leaving me the way he did. That's exactly what I did.

I punched him right in the right jaw. He looked at me in shock and punched me back. I slapped him and tackled him onto the hallway floor. I straddled his waist and started punching him repeatedly. He overpowered me and rolled us over so he was straddling me. He began punching me and kept going until I rolled us over. I straddled him and was about to punch until I looked into his eyes. I felt myself give in to him. I didn't want this, fighting the only person I've ever loved. Whether he loved me back or not, I couldn't do this to him, because no matter what, I would do us all over again no matter how much he hurt me.

He looked me in eyes and just kept eye contact with me. I couldn't help it, so I gave in. I leaned down and kissed him slowly yet passionately. He kissed back as I started rocking my hips into his. I started to remove his unbuttoned button up shirt and unbutton his pants too. I got him fully nude underneath me as well as myself. I just wanted to be close to him as much as possible so I lifted my hips up a bit and lowered myself onto him, ignoring the pain I felt and just letting him fill me up. I pulled his upper half up so he was sitting up.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulder and started gyrating my hips. I felt him hit my prostate causing me to moan loudly, a sense of euphoria spreading through my body. I kept gyrating my hips and moaning loudly as Vic groaned and moaned in pleasure. Before I even knew it, we were both coming. I stayed the though with my arms wrapped around him tightly, almost as if I moved, he'd leave.

"I missed you." I mumbled.

"I missed you too. I-i love you, Kellin." he mumbled back.

"I love you too. Always have, always will no matter what." I said.

"Surely something has to have made you hate me." he said in disbelief.

"I could never hate you. No matter how much I tried to when you were gone, I couldn't bring myself to hate you. I couldn't do it at all. The truth is, you could murder me and I'd still love you. You could do a lot of bad things to me, but I would still love you no matter what, and that scares me." I said softly.

That was the truth. He could murder me, cheat on me, sacrifice me, anything and I would still go back to him any day. Noe I realize, sure cocaine and sex were my go to stuff, but that was to numb the pain I felt from the love I held for Vic. I ached to feel anything but love for the man who left me heartbroken. So, I turned to sex and drugs, because if I was numbing myself, I couldn't feel. I didn't need legitimate drugs. I didn't need sex, as fun and amazing as it feels, I don't need it. I need Vic.

He's my drug. The best and most dangerous of all. He'll leave me wanting more. He'll give me an amazing high that can last forever, better than any drug. But when it wears off it leaves me at my lowest, lower than ever before. He's a toxic drug. One I can't live without.

"You're crazy." he mumbled.

"You're a toxic drug."

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I'm actually quite proud of this one.

Didn't proofread.

♥Senpai♥